Black women don't get married?? ummmm say what???
First of all I would like a standing ovation for not reverting back to my Brooklyn born ways, throwing on my Tims and stomping this ^*&%$@ out! The only thing that restrained me is that I think she's more stupid then offensive.

A coworker of mine looked at my ring and said oh are you engaged, I said I was. The following convo went like this:
Her: Well congratulations, your one of the lucky ones"
Me: I do consider myself fortunate to have him in my life.
Her: Because I know I saw a news show that said due to the shortage of black men, black women don't get married.
Me: (side eye) is that so?
Her: Yeah cause most of them are in jail or gay
Me: (EXTREME side eye) Well my FH has never even been arrested and the last time I checked none of my underwear or makeup were missing so I think I'm good.
Her: Oh no I didnt meant YOUR fiance, I just meant alot of black women probably want to be in your shoes right now
Me: I wouldnt know, all the black women I know are married or engaged..

Married: 07/09/2011
Reviews: 6
Posted On: Mar 8, 2011 at 9:58 AM • Vendors are allowed • Add to My WatchlistFlag As Inappropriate1 like

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Married: 08/12/2011
Reviews: 8
Mar 08, 2011 at 3:51 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I guess I should be offended, but I'm not. I understand that ignorance does not have boundaries. By reading your post, it just sounds as if she was being malicious. I applaud you for not going off the deep end. I have heard some of the most absurd things from people when they find out that I'm having a "real wedding." I just shake my head and continue with my day.

....
Married: 2+ years ago
Mar 08, 2011 at 3:55 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Ignorance like this really pisses me off…. People really need to do their homework. The fact behind "statistics" is this, it never addresses the most important factors behind the stats. Sure, there are "stats" that record a high percentage of black men in jail, but what are the stats on the judges, officers, and prosecutors, that implemented the "racial profiling" that put them there? What are the stats on the dirty police officers that plant drugs and weapons, resulting in the incarceration of innocent black men? What are the stats on racial employers that consistently turn "minorities" away for positions of potential employment? What are the stats on prestigious colleges that refuse to admit minorities because they have reached their “race quota”?....cont'd
Edited On: Mar 08, 2011 at 4:00 PM

....
Married: 2+ years ago
Mar 08, 2011 at 3:55 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Some of these are the same factors that lead to drug dealing, theft, prostitution (men sell themselves too,) and violent crimes, which all at some point, result in incarceration. True enough, individuals are responsible for their actions; however, in most cases, it’s typically life challenges that result in, “desperate times calling for desperate measures“, as well as racism, that result in black men ending up behind bars. It’s easy to say get a good education or get a job,, but jobs don’t come over night, and there are racist teachers out there who could care less about thoroughly educating young black men. It’s a sad situation, but for a plethora of, “minorities”, discrimination continues to be a BIG factor in the decline or the demise of their advancement in life.

I honestly don’t think she meant any harm. For some people, ignorance is bliss, and those people tend to believe everything they hear and read. They just need to be careful in how they spread the information because as we all know, ignorance is contagious.

Mrs Lilow
Married: 06/12/2011
Mar 08, 2011 at 3:59 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
LOL thanks Unique, I'm really going now!

Married: 10/01/2011
Reviews: 14
Mar 08, 2011 at 4:02 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Not....going...to get...sucked...into this...discussion. *gasp for air*
Edited On: Mar 08, 2011 at 4:03 PM

Jasmine
Married: 09/22/2012
Reviews: 6
Mar 08, 2011 at 4:04 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I agree with your response Noei. If she's a close friend, I would understand the random convo. But a near-stranger, yeah, a bit much.

Married: 05/19/2012
Mar 08, 2011 at 4:24 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Who Says all Black women want to marry black men? and who says all black men want to marry black women? wow people are dissappointing!

....
Married: 2+ years ago
Mar 08, 2011 at 4:27 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
@Noel, you hit the nail on the head with that last one. Statistics never consider, nor does it cover the reasoning behind the stats. A looooot of black women (that I've seen lately) are in homosexual relationships, are career driven, prefer men of other races, or just plain don't want to get married. I'm sure if they have interviewed certain women to ask why they aren't, they went to the grimiest neighborhood they could find, where those types of statistics are extremely relevant. However, what about successful black women, did they sit down with them to ask them why they aren't married? There's tons of successful black men out there, so what's the real problem? Absolutely nothing, because in this day and age, people do what they want. This is no longer a society where women have to marry and have children to be considered overall "successful" in life. All types of women are saying to hell with relationships and marriage, their reasons varying. I don’t think it’s a good idea to praise, nor confirm ignorant statistics, because like I said, they don’t consider, nor include the important catalyst that leads to the findings.

Married: 06/26/2010
Reviews: 7
Mar 08, 2011 at 10:14 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
If I believed in everything I saw and heard I would have never been married at 50 yrs of age. I believe people don't think before they speak and say some of the dumbest things. Do you and plan ahead for a great day. Haters ugh.....

Married: 04/15/2011
Reviews: 1
Mar 08, 2011 at 10:30 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
@ Torie C. Amen to that. I am getting married and quite happy with my white fiance.

Wow, but I applaud you cause I might have cussed her out. Thats alright. I wanted to smack someone the other day for a stupid comment. My fiance and I were at the mall and saw a white girl and black guy. The black guy gave us dirty looks and then said in a loud voice: 'Look at that. The nerve of some people. White men trying to turn our women into slaves to show their superiority.'

My fiance just made me walk away before I said anything.

Married: 04/02/2011
Reviews: 1
Mar 08, 2011 at 10:31 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
You know I get that a lot where I work too. Some of them act like they never seen black people have real love. Like we're just a bunch of screwed up people with baby mama baby daddy drama

Miya
Married: 12/29/2011
Mar 08, 2011 at 10:36 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I would have retorted: At least my nationality's men aren't statistically known to have the smallest penises in the world.

Married: 08/26/2011
Reviews: 5
Mar 08, 2011 at 10:36 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
all i can do is laugh....my man also has never been arrested nor is he gay...so i guess she would consider me "one of the lucky ones"...lol

Married: 07/09/2011
Reviews: 6
Mar 08, 2011 at 10:50 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
@aidalily whaaaa? that is crazy.
LMBO@ Miya

Married: 07/09/2011
Reviews: 6
Mar 08, 2011 at 10:54 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
@aidalily whaaaa? that is crazy.
LMBO@ Miya

Married: 04/15/2011
Reviews: 1
Mar 08, 2011 at 10:56 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
You have no idea...I found out one of my friend's fiance feels the same way. In which I told her. 'He is free to think whatever the hell he wants. He can not show up to my wedding celebration and for the flipping record your man is a dumb (choice words follow).'

I know I shouldn't have gotten mad, but I really hate people saying that. It seems even more so now. I don't really see the problem. You fall in love with who you fall in love with. He completes me and I complete him. So thats all that matters.

Meh. I get called a 'race traitor' all the time for being with a white guy...

Married: 09/01/2011
Mar 08, 2011 at 11:05 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
WELL I JUST BE DAMN!!!!!!!!!! WOW!!!! SMDH!!

Chesty LaRue
Married: 08/27/2011
Mar 08, 2011 at 11:22 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I saw a special about this. It went on to talk about a specific type of blk woman. The type that is college educated with a white collar job. Basically it said that after u count out the men who are incarcerated and who are gay and who are blue collar and earn less that blk woman who want to find a man of equal socio economic standing, will have trouble. The special also went on to say that these men do exist however they are either not ready to settle down and get married or they are dating outside of their race. Do I agree with the stats??? uggghhh ::shoulder shrug:: not really. I am married my husband is neither gay nor has he ever been in jail. He has never even gotten a traffic ticket.

Married: 2+ years ago
Reviews: 5
Mar 08, 2011 at 11:24 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Uhm... uh... wow...

KM
Married: 2+ years ago
Mar 08, 2011 at 11:35 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I can't believe someone would say that to you - statistic or not, it's innapropriate. period.

However, I loved the play-by-play - I laughed out loud "EXTREME side eye" haha
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