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Walton
Just Said Yes May 2026

Guest apparently bringing baby to wedding

Walton, on April 6, 2026 at 1:56 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 19
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As a breastfeeding mother myself I understand how it can be difficult to make arrangements to weddings or other events where children are not invited, but if it’s important to us then we have happily made childcare arrangements to respect the couple’s wishes.
Our wedding is May 2nd and my cousin and his wife just had a baby a month ago. We invited them and were told they wouldn’t come by my aunt. Well, they ended up RSVPing. My dad told me that apparently they’re strapping their baby to them and coming anyways without even asking if that’s ok. Website and everything kindly requests to make arrangements.
Heck, my baby is the flower girl and then getting swept away by a sitter staying in our room for the entirety of the event because as much as I love her I don’t want anyone worrying about a baby and to just enjoy themselves.I’m a bit ticked. We have so many friends with little ones that have made arrangements and they’re going to show up and see that there’s a baby there.Mind you- this cousin and I are not close at all. I haven’t even met his wife because their wedding was child free and I had a baby. So I didn’t go.
Do I confront them? Leave it and hope for the best? I guess the part that irritates me is the lack of decency to even ask if it’s ok…

19 Comments

Latest activity by Booo, on April 15, 2026 at 1:10 PM
  • Alisha
    VIP April 2021
    Alisha ·
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    I was in a similar situation whereas my wedding was adult only except for the bridal party. However I had two cousins who had babies and I was ok with it bc I knew that they were not going to leave them with anyone. I went in knowing that would be the case. There was no issues at all everything went smoothly. No complaints from anyone. Maybe leave it alone especially if you want them to be there for you and celebrate you. It may not be as bad as you think. If you confront them will there be tension? Do you want the hassle or drama?
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  • Walton
    Just Said Yes May 2026
    Walton ·
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    I don’t want drama, but I do feel bad for some of our friends that have little bitty babies that have bent over backwards to find arrangements to attend our wedding and respect our wishes. I don’t think I’ve ever even had a conversation 1v1 with my cousin who is coming. I’m honestly very surprised he is as we were told they wouldn’t be and to not even worry about sending the invite (my aunt, his mom, told us that). I sent it anyways since they received the STD. They have to travel 4 hours to even come. I confronted my mom about it yesterday and she said my aunt mentioned how they want to come to introduce the baby…. So it’s more for them to showcase their baby to the family than it is about support. Joys of wedding planning!
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  • Alisha
    VIP April 2021
    Alisha ·
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    I get it. Everything will work out. I wish you well as you continue to wedding plan.
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  • V
    Champion July 2019
    Veronica ·
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    Hmmm this is difficult because they on one hand I completely understand not wanting a baby at your wedding. We had a child-free wedding except for the flower girls and ring bearer. They left the reception with a babysitter my brother-in-law and his wife hired to come with them. One of the groomsmen and his wife showed up with their daughter who was about 5 months old without asking. I wasn't impressed. However since now having 3 children I can understand how difficult it can be to make arrangements especially in your case where it sounds like a majority of their family is going to be at your wedding and where there is a 4 hour drive. I wouldn't want to leave my brand new baby (I currently have a 2 month old) at home while I traveled 4 hours away for a wedding. In fact, not even a month ago my husband attended a wedding alone because I didn't want to take all 3 of our children to a wedding 2 hours away.

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  • Walton
    Just Said Yes May 2026
    Walton ·
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    Totally! I have 4 kids (youngest being 15 months old) and when this cousin was getting married him and his wife sent us the std but not an invitation and basically said “we are keeping it intimate and childfree… etc”. I was honestly glad it got us off the hook to travel and what not with kids to a wedding I’m not really even close to the couple of- even though it’s family.
    I was told they’d decline. I think I’m more irritated at the entitlement of it? Like, I completely get being a new mom, but stay home with your 8 week old. Don’t come here to a black tie wedding weekend. The kids not invited haha
    I have a sitter service staying with my kids, my nieces and nephew at the hotel. My baby is also breastfed but will be just fine as it’s not as important for her to nurse at this age. I don’t know. It’s dumb little inconveniences like this that tick me off haha
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  • LM
    Super December 2022
    LM ·
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    Serve their words right back to them and say, "just like your wedding ... No babies". And if they didn't bother RSVPing to you directly and (through someone else) tell them you already gave count to the caterer and there are Zero seats for them because someone else told you so. If you're lying, who cares. This family obligatory invite is too much drama. Cull the drama.


    I had a childfree black tie wedding and zero kids in the wedding party. No regrets. Not a tear was shed.
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  • Walton
    Just Said Yes May 2026
    Walton ·
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    I like you 😂 yeah, this is my argument as well. I have had to do this more than once already and I have looked like the biotch, but I have no issues setting boundaries and telling people no. I’m just tired of doing it. It seems I had more faith in the invited lot than i needed to.
    I told my mom and dad to handle it since they were supposed to before but somehow didn’t relay my message of “no kids”.
    She texted me a little bit ago and said they’re still coming but they’re just going to swap out back and forth all night. Sounds like a nightmare to me. Hopefully they respect our wishes and do just that. Not sure how that’ll work between ceremony and dinner but whatever. I don’t even have place cards for them. I ordered them over a month ago from London and there’s no way I can make 2 for them in time now haha this is fun
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  • Linah
    Just Said Yes May 2026
    Linah ·
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    This is your wedding and it’s not a place for babies and little kids. They can only be a distraction to your big day. If they can’t pump and leave the baby with someone, then maybe they shouldn’t come. Maybe they can’t stay the whole wedding because they need to get back to the baby. This shouldn’t be your problem. You can not control how an infant will behave. Best thing is not to have them there. If they can’t understand your feelings, they are inconsiderate.
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  • Walton
    Just Said Yes May 2026
    Walton ·
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    Thank you for your input! I completely agree. It’s so funny because usually I am all for kids and family and crazy, but for one gosh forsaken day I don’t want to worry about (even my) kids and I don’t want anyone else to worry about kids either haha like come and get away from your children! Have a date night or weekend! Get drunk! My wedding website says “Are babies/children allowed at the wedding” and we literally put “Hell no” haha
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  • Sagan
    Super July 2017
    Sagan ·
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    Breastfeeding infants are widely considered to be an exception to “no children” limitations at weddings. I’m surprised at the number of people with such harsh responses to people you’re supposed to care about.
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  • Walton
    Just Said Yes May 2026
    Walton ·
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    Agreed that they are often considered as “not a child in a no child wedding”, BUT for a black tie wedding, an intimate dinner and ceremony… there’s a reason I said no to babies and kids. I even have a sitter for my breastfed baby. If I wanted my baby there then I’d make the wedding more friendly for her.
    I’ve also attended other weddings where it was no kids and we gladly made accommodations in which grandparents came and stayed in the hotel in case I needed to leave to nurse. It’s respectful and we had a nice, much deserved night away from being mom and dad.
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  • Sagan
    Super July 2017
    Sagan ·
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    “I know this is the norm but I am the exception” If you feel that way, call your cousin and tell them that. Own it.
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  • Walton
    Just Said Yes May 2026
    Walton ·
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    I’m sorry, did I miss that being quoted somewhere? It’s normal to not have babies at a wedding just as much as it is to allow them. Probably more in the “norm” not to. If babies aren’t invited into the festivities then either find a way to make it work with childcare and come, ASK if it would be ok first, or just don’t come. I definitely don’t have to tell everyone else no and then make an exception for a couple that seemed to be a bit entitled to what they wanted to begin with 🤷🏼‍♀️
    I have no issue confronting them. In fact, I did yesterday and they are going to now bring their other grandmother to stay close by and alternate taking care of the baby. It wasn’t hard to stand firm in our request ☺️ that’s why we make them.
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  • Bonnie
    Dedicated June 2022
    Bonnie ·
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    Confront them! No babies is no babies. No kids means no kids. It’s YOUR WEDDING not hers. Pump and put it in a bottle and get a trusted sitter or don’t come. That’s what I feel you need to say. If she still shows up at the wedding the host has a responsibility to ask her to leave.
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  • Walton
    Just Said Yes May 2026
    Walton ·
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    My parents did and then I did as well when they countered back with a “so is this a hard no?”. This has been the most stressful part of planning a wedding by far- the guests that try to push the boundaries a little bit because they think they’re exempt. My cousin and his wife are good people, but they aren’t coming to support our marriage necessarily… (we hardly know each other and I never met her before). They’re coming to showcase the baby to that side of the family and it’s probably mostly my aunt that’s encouraging it 🙃
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  • Booo
    Just Said Yes August 2026
    Booo ·
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    We completely understand how special this season is for you with your new baby, and we would truly love to meet them one day. 💛

    For our wedding, we’ve chosen to have an adults-only, black-tie celebration, and we feel that this environment wouldn’t be the right setting for little ones.

    If you’re able to arrange childcare for the evening, we would absolutely love to have you there and celebrate together. If not, we completely understand and hope to connect with you another time soon.

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  • Booo
    Just Said Yes August 2026
    Booo ·
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    We completely understand how special this season is for you with your new baby, and we would truly love to meet them one day. 💛

    For our wedding, we’ve chosen to have an adults-only, black-tie celebration, and we feel that this environment wouldn’t be the right setting for little ones.

    If you’re able to arrange childcare for the evening, we would absolutely love to have you there and celebrate together. If not, we completely understand and hope to connect with you another time soon.

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  • Booo
    Just Said Yes August 2026
    Booo ·
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    We completely understand how special this season is for you with your new baby, and we would truly love to meet them one day. 💛

    For our wedding, we’ve chosen to have an adults-only, black-tie celebration, and we feel that this environment wouldn’t be the right setting for little ones.

    If you’re able to arrange childcare for the evening, we would absolutely love to have you there and celebrate together. If not, we completely understand and hope to connect with you another time soon.

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  • Booo
    Just Said Yes August 2026
    Booo ·
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    Congrats on standing up for your wishes

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