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Just Said Yes October 2019

Anxious Bride and Groom Success Stories and Advice?! (to a Bride with panic attacks)

Ang, on February 19, 2019 at 7:30 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 12

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Hey all!
I could use some advice, words of encouragement, and success stories from other anxious brides and grooms...

I have panic attacks- I have since I was 14. For the most part they are quite manageable and I live a normal life...I take medication for severe attacks, see a therapist regularly, and am well aware of my panic attack triggers. One of them is being in front of large formal, crowds (I don’t have to even be talking) and another is being in situation where I feel like I do not have an “escape” in case I do have a panic attack. I am getting married in October and we are looking at able 120-130 people. Unfortunately, I feel like my anxiety about having a panic attack during my ceremony is taking away the joy of the actual planning process, and I don’t want to let it ruin our day or stop me from having the wedding on my dreams. My panic stems from the fear of having an attack and feeling like I’m going to faint during the whole ceremony, and ultimately feeling dread and like I’m “stuck” up there. I want to actually enjoy my day and not have my anxiety get in the way. I know panicking about panic is silly, but it’s just who I am. I have a hard time “relaxing” and just letting go in situations like this. I am already taking proactive steps to help me out such as having the wedding outdoors, limiting plus ones, having a short 7-10 minute ceremony where we’re not really doing any major speaking except “I do” (we’re exchanging vows before)....but I’m STILL freaking out and can’t seem to stop the fear of having a panic attack at the altar.

Has anyone else felt this way and how did you get through the anxiety?! I can really use some words of wisdom and success stories right now.

Side note: Dont get me wrong...i am all for medicating if necessary, but I do not want to take meds. For one, It dulls my emotions and I want to “feel all the feels” that day. Two, I want to be able to enjoy my reception and can’t drink on my meds. ...Please don’t judge me for saying that...it’s my party and I’ll have a cocktail and break it down on the dance floor if I want to. 😂 ha!

Happy wedding planning to all! Thanks!
-Ang

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12 Comments

Latest activity by Noman, on June 14, 2026 at 1:28 AM

Devoted November 2019
Malki · on February 19, 2019 at 8:15 PM
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I am sending you so much love. I have struggling with anxiety, panic attacks, and depression since a violent and traumatic childhood. I am responsible about my meds, therapy, exercise, affirmations etc etc too and I was doing great....until I started wedding planning. I’ve been having severe panic attacks where I feel like I’m going to throw up, can’t breathe, get diarrhea, chest pain, heart palpitations....I’ve had 3 in February.

I have not not figured out how to really get it under control yet, but here’s what has helped recently
1. Talking about it with my incredibly understanding and supportive FH
2. Calling my psychiatrist and moving my appointment sooner (small, concrete steps really help me)
3. Walking every day, especially outside when I can. I even just walk around the mall til I chill out
4. Connecting with friend (How do I even have friends??? I’m so blessed)
5. Calling my therapist
6. Reading “You can heal your life” by Louise Hay...she’s kookie as all heck but some of the things she says resonate with me (you’re only ever dealing with a thought and thoughts can be changed, your point of power is the present moment. I don’t agree with her thoughts on everything tho)

Good luck!!! Let us know if you find ways to feel better. I’ll update this thread if I find a way to be good and if I can go like a month without a panic attack lol
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Master January 2019
Cassidy · on February 19, 2019 at 8:20 PM
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I don’t have any suggestions.
But I just wanted to tell you, when I was standing up front with my husband I was completely unaware of anyone but the officiant and my husband. I was so concentrated on what the officiant was saying and saying it correctly I didn’t have an opportunity to worry about anything else.
It was aknots like we were closed off from everything else/nothing else existed in that very moment.
Walking down the isle was a little nerve wracking but once I was down it was easy peasy!
I dont know if that will help or not. Good luck, I hope you find something that will put you at ease.
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Super February 2019
Maggie · on February 19, 2019 at 8:41 PM
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Hi, I basically have the same exact thing. Social anxiety, fear of having panic attacks, and general anxiety about feeling "trapped." We planned our wedding in our favorite restaurant so it was a place I'm familiar with and feel comfortable while I'm there. I'm staying there the night before so I can keep an eye out on the ceremony layout so I know exactly where I'm going and how I could get out if need be. I've visited the venue a TON so I'm even more familiar with it. We're doing a private ceremony with immediate family only so it's far less pressured, and then a bigger reception immediately after so it's the best of both. I'm getting ready alone so I dont have other people stressing me out. Skipping any tradition where all the focus will be on us (dances, cake, etc) and a laid back timeline so I can take a few minutes to myself if need be. I know a lot of this is really specific to my wedding but I'm hoping there's something here that can help you out with your planning. I know my therapist has been super helpful throughout this process. I'd also recommend meditation and yoga, its helped me quite a bit. I hope things get better for you and feel free to send me a message if you ever want to talk. Good luck!
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Super October 2017
Emily · on February 19, 2019 at 8:45 PM
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Sometimes in the case of anxiety and panic attacks, the anxiety of having a panic attack is the biggest hurdle. Start coming up with a mindfulness technique or meditation to help you rewrite how you see the ceremony going. Focus on the positives, what you will have around you to focus on that can ground you, imagine the ceremony going well without any anxiety. Write the narrative that your wedding will be wonderful and focus on the little aspects that may be in line with your day.
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Super November 2019
Kristin · on February 19, 2019 at 8:53 PM
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My best friend just got married last year, she said she didn't even remember people being there, she was so focused on the mas she was marrying. While we still have 8 months to go, I would imagine it's that way for alot of people
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Dedicated October 2020
Sarah · on February 19, 2019 at 9:05 PM
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So, I identify COMPLETELY with all of your struggles, except my panic isn’t induced by being in front of crowds. I’m not married yet, but I’m a wedding photographer and I’ve talked many a bride through their panic, so hear me out:

1) everyone gets nervous about their wedding day, and anyone who doesn’t have your struggles is going to tell you that. Anxiety/panic is different than nerves, and that’s okay!

2) I know you don’t want to medicate, and I get that. If I take a Xanax, I am easy breezy all day but my speech slows and I definitely “feel” less. Perhaps bring this up to your doc and see if there’s another less strong medication or dose you can take early in the day that would “take the edge off” - once you’re in the swing of things, even if the meds have worn off you’re not likely to notice.

3) learn and master the “four count breath” which is a yoga technique. Basically a slow breath in through the nose while counting to four, and then out through the mouth while counting to four at the same speed (or slower). Doing this 2-3 times in a row helps to calm the body and re center your mind.

4) during the ceremony, look at no one but your FH. Yes, there will be people out there. Yes, they will be watching you. But they don’t matter during your ceremony. All that matters is you’re standing there with the love of your life doing this incredible amazing thing you’re only going to do once. Savor every moment of that experience.

5) your FH of course knows all about your struggles and you know he will comfort you when he can during the day. However, he won’t always be at your side during the wedding day. Confide in someone you trust about these fears (mom, MOH, sister) who you know will always be readily available should you descend into panic. Someone’s judgment free hug is sometimes the best remedy.

6) stand up straight during the ceremony... but don’t lock your knees! That at least will minimize one cause of making you faint

feel free to friend/pm me if you want to talk more. I’m cheering for you! 💖
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Master May 2020
Tara · on February 19, 2019 at 10:32 PM
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May I ask did you ever consider having a microwedding (30 guests or less)?
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Master May 2020
Tara · on February 19, 2019 at 10:34 PM
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I have quite a bit on anxiety as well, and I’m very frugal and live underneath my means. So I opted for a microwedding, we will have 20 guests or less. Then six months later we’ll hsve a party to celebrate with more loved ones, which won’t be bad bc there will be no speeches or in the spot attention. I’ll just go around and chat with each guest.
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Expert September 2020
Riley · on February 19, 2019 at 10:57 PM
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I have been wondering about this as well I have the same problems I am going to take a light dose of my anxiety medication my doctor said it is okay to take half just to take the edge off. I'm actually more nervous to start planning it's giving me all the worry. Plus if you start panicking tell someone family or FH don't hold it in that will only make it worse. During the ceremony like the others said try to only focus on him. And during the reception it is ok to go take a 5 min break to breathe.
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Just Said Yes September 2019
Karen · on February 19, 2019 at 11:48 PM
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I am MOB and totally understand what you are going through.. I also suffer from severe anxiety and panic attacks. This is something I am fearful about happening and ruining my daughter's day. I recommend you come up with a plan by talking to your therapist about ways to de escalate your panic... I always need an escape plan too, just to even walk outside and get some fresh air. Focus on the senses. Smell the flowers, look at something that gives you a happy feeling, and touch something that will give you joy. These things are meant to turn your mind away from the panic.

I do plan to use these methods for myself.
I hope this helps, and focus on the joy of marrying your true love. Wishing you all the best.
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Master January 2021
AshleyR · on February 20, 2019 at 10:23 AM
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I suffer from depression and anxiety, panic attacks, and I’m extremely introverted. My panic attacks aren’t triggered by large crowds, but my anxiety is triggered by having attention on me. I’m married already so hopefully my experience can help you a little.

We did a first look which was great, it calmed me down so much and H and I got to hang out in the bridal sweet for a few minutes together before the ceremony which was a life saver. The ceremony was fine, as pp said you truly don’t notice anyone but your FI. We had our wedding at a b&b so the bridal suite was the room we were staying the night in and it was just downstairs from the reception. This was awesome because there was a moment when he and I went down there alone so I could “decompress” a bit and get away from the crowd. When I went back to the party I felt much better. I highly recommend having a place you can escape to, and also maybe plan a little signal with your FI ahead of time so he knows when you need a break. The only thing I regret doing is our first dance. I started to have a panic attack during it and it’s definitely a dark spot in my memory of the day. I thought if I didn’t do one I would regret it, but if I could go back I would skip it, or do a dance where we invite everyone else up with us so it’s not just all eyes on us.
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Just Said Yes September 2019
Sierra · on February 20, 2019 at 11:30 AM
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Why not have a small guest list of very close family for the actual ceremony and then a large reception where everyone is just hanging out. No pressure on you to stand up in front of everyone. Do whatever you have to to be sure your wedding is relaxing and fun. You don’t have to do anything for anyone. You don’t have to impress people or stand in front of them all. I do not suffer from anxiety or anything but I’m going to have a private ceremony just because I don’t like being mushy and vulnerable in front of a lot of people. That part is just for my close family that won’t judge me. The reception is for “everyone else”.
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