Strip Club the night before the wedding

Ps.. This is Absolutley not normal behavior for him. He doesn't even like bars. I'm guessing after the rehearsal his brother and groomsmen (his cousins) pushed the issue since there was no real bachelor party.

Either you care or you don't. There's no chance I would have married someone who got home from a strip club on our wedding morning. But you did marry this person, so what are you going to do about it now?

I would suggest couples counseling.

Wow, I would be upset too. That was poor communication on his part and that is something you two really need to talk about. The boys will be boys doesn't fly with me. You are husband and wife and you should not be the last to know his whereabouts.

I would personally not be happy - especially the fact he tried to hide it from you.

I think it's disrespectful and weird, honestly, but I suspect that's an UO. Why would he want to be out until the wee hours with strippers when he should be resting up and looking forward to your wedding day?

He's not a boy. He's a man, married to a woman, and he should have acted that way. It's, at best, a strange decision.

ETD; the fact that his brother and GM's pushed this idea (um, he's an adult; he could have said no) makes me question their judgement too.

I wouldn't appreciate this at all. I really don't care about strip clubs.. but night before wedding.. cmon. Watching girls strip hours before saying the most heartfelt things.. it's a bit much

Also wtf is he doing being up and out at 4 am before wedding. I would crash

Honestly I would be pissed too. I want me finance to go to a strip club for his bachelor party and have that experience at least once in his life.. but not the night before our wedding. I don't think your wrong for being hurt.. I don't think it's a relationship ender- but the I think the fact that he tried leave it out would piss me off too... Omission is lying in my book.

Has he said anything about it?

I would have been upset about this as well. I know lots of people here are of the mindset that "I trust my man so I don't care if he's with strippers", but that's not how I am.

Wait, so you're telling me that at 4 am - THE MORNING OF YOUR WEDDING- he was with strippers? yeah, I wouldn't be cool with that. Especially since he tried to leave out the fact that that is where he was.

I would be really hurt by this as well. i would hope the night before our wedding FH will want to have some quiet time with me before the wedding craziness, not off partying with his friends.

I would have cared whether it was our wedding eve or any other night.

It's disrespectful if he knows how you feel about them. I personally hate the idea of it and he's aware, so he doesn't go and says he never wants to.

Preemptively because I know people will probably say this- THIS DOESN'T MEAN SHE HAS TRUST ISSUES PEOPLE!

My FH and I talked about how we felt about that kind of thing before anyone went to a strip club. Neither of us love the idea of the other going to a strip club of any kind - the only exception is if we go together. We can petition for exceptions but we need to have a conversation about it before anything goes down. Establish rules - touching or no? Etc.

I think it's bogus that he didn't ask you how you felt about that beforehand. I would be pretty upset if my FH did that out of nowhere without so much as mentioning it. It may be that others influenced his decision, perhaps he had too much to drink... but either way, you should talk about it with him and let him know that it's been bothering you.

I would be pissed. I even scheduled our rehearsal dinner two days before so I don't have to worry about us drinking too much the night before the wedding. I don't care if its an UO I think that behavior is disrespectful and rude. Seriously the night before the wedding??

I would definitely address it with him.

Me personally ! Wouldn't blow it out of proportion ! That's what guys do before they get married I thought ?? As long as he didn't have sex with anyone I wouldn't stress it.. we're married now and that's when the trust and loyalty really starts.. don't let anyone dictate how you feel ! Talk to your FH about the issue

UO, It doesnt bother me. I'm totally fine with strip clubs! FH is going to one this weekend and one before our wedding in Mexico. I think I'm kinda salty I cant go because I love them! We've gone to a few together as date nights. I know he;s coming back home to me and its just fun, It means nothing. As long as your secure and you trust him, its all good!

ETA: He has already gone. You really cant be too upset because he cant change the past.

Yeah to me the issue is more that this was the night before the wedding and he was out until 4 am on their wedding day (though I wouldn't be thrilled about the strip club thing either)... that is inconsiderate no matter where he was.

So the line in the sand is whether they have sex with someone?

I'm sorry, the trust and loyalty starts the minute you're in a committed relationship.

Strip clubs don't bother me in the slightest but this would piss me off for a couple reasons. The fact he lied/tried to lie is a horrible way to start a marriage. And who the fuck comes home at 4 am the morning on their fucking wedding! If he was partying with you that'd be one thing, but the fact that he felt that need to be out all night is ridiculous tome.

Maybe I'm weird in that I don't care if FH goes to a strip club, as long as he tells me and I don't hear it first from someone else. That being said, I wouldn't be thrilled about him being at a strip club the night before the wedding, and I would be PISSED that he lied. The fact that he tried to hide it from you is very concerning - obviously you're not happy about it at all, but lies make it 1000x worse IMO. But it's not something that you can't get over if you both work through it though.