Strip Club the night before the wedding

So, the strip club thing in general would mildly annoy me, but I'd get over it pretty fast. (I've been to one before, and I just don't get it, but to each their own. I wouldn't be thrilled if FH wanted to go, but I wouldn't try to stop him- just tell him how I felt and move on.) The night before the wedding though would be a huge hell no from me. And to lie about it? That would tick me off beyond belief. We'd be having a serious come to Jesus conversation about it, and it wouldn't be pretty.

And "boys will be boys" is the lamest excuse ever, and is only ever used to justify awful behavior that everyone knows is bad, but how dare we blame them, because, well. . . .

I would be upset, too.

I would be super upset. I don't even know why his GM would take him out the night before instead of a week in advance. I also don't think strip clubs are appropriate, especially as a way to celebrate someone getting married. I'm so sorry he did that behind your back and that you found out after the wedding.

This is an endless debate.

I get you are annoyed and bothered about the time he returned home the night before the wedding. I even get that I would be pissed he lied about where he was.

Since all the events are in the past- Couples Counseling is really the only answer. And don't discuss your relationship issues with his family. Big No- no.

H went to the strip club the night before the wedding and it didn't bother me one bit. I was just concerned that my brothers and his friends got him home at a good time and they did. That is when they planned his bachelor party and I set my boundaries and they respected them.

I find that whole frat/sorority behavior very childish. BUT people can go about it differently. There are folks who go as a group and just enjoy it as an art form (burlesque). Then there are those creepy pervs who like the nasty stuff. If you guys have spoken about your feelings on the matter, he should know better. If he goes saying excuses then sorry, that's a red flag.

We have talked about it. I almost sent everyone home because when the time came for him to be there to help set up, he was just getting out of bed. He has apologized and profusely but I'm still really annoyed with it. I didnt choose to talk about it with his family they are part of it as they were his groomsmen and his dad is the one who told me he was out til 4am and came to help set up. There are a whole lot of issues here, the strip club timing, the late night, the lying.. I get his side actually and understand where he was coming from. I'm horrible when I am angry (hence the lie) but 10 days later I still think about it. I do trust him completely it is more than a trust issue. It's hard to explain how I am feeling but I just needed reassurance I wasn't wrong for being upset. Honest to God when this is a distant memory I couldn't imagine doing this with anyone else. I don't feel like we need counseling, he knows what and why it was wrong and is remorseful. I need to get my head wrapped around it and figure how how to let it go now. Our new life shouldn't have this cloud over it.

I'd be pretty devastated if FH had naked ladies grind up on him only a few hours before the wedding. IMO, he should be excited about me, not other women, on the wedding day. Also, wouldn't he rather be well rested so he could enjoy the wedding than be functioning on no sleep because he went to a strip club?

Even if I were super comfortable with strip clubs, the timing of this would upset me so much. He basically ruined your wedding day.

You need counseling for your self, at the very, very least.

I've done individual therapy since my mother passed. It is something I plan to talk about.

If you don't feel like you need counseling, you get his point and have forgiven, why dwell over it?

Work through your feelings and set boundaries.

I mean you said yourself this behavior was nothing like him.

I would not be happy about the lying part but the strip club I would not be mad about. That is just me though.

I would be devastated. My ex husband cheated on me with a stripper, so I probably have a little more baggage than most when it comes to these things, but the night before your wedding is horrible and very disrespectful. PP's are right in saying now it's over, and you can either get past it or not. Talking it out with your therapist should be a big help and I am sorry that your wedding day is tainted with this.

I would be hurt. On my FHs bachelor party they hired strippers to come to the house they rented - FH got on the phone and cancelled it. He knew it was bad news and he respected OUR decision about not letting that type of entertainment into our lives. Please go to couples counseling and talk it out but you are totally in the right with being upset.

I would be very upset. And I'm guessing that is why he didn't mention it to you. In general I would not want my FH going to a strip club, but especially the night before our wedding! That would cause so much hurt and put a damper on the whole day for me.

I would be upset about the lying part of this whole thing. I personally have no problem with strip clubs, and I'm going back and forth about whether or not I would care if it was the night before the wedding, but there's no justification for lying about it. If he was an adult, he'd just tell the truth and face the consequences even if he knew it would make you angry. If this were me, I'd try to get to the bottom of why he felt the need to lie.

I would be beyond livid! First off, he better not under no circumstances stay out at 4am on our wedding night!!! I don't want a tired and cranky husband who can't enjoy his own wedding. And then he better not go to a strip club ever! Honestly it's a waste of money that could be spent way better on something else besides a girl with daddy issues. Me and my FH have already come to an agreement that neither of us will be going to strip clubs at all, point blank period!

It would have bothered me too, FH keeps talking about how we are scheduling the dinner the night before until 10 pm but I keep reminding him we can't be out late. That we have to be up early the next morning.

Noooo fucking way. I don't think strip clubs are a big deal BUT the fact he was out until 4am the night before your wedding??!!! I would be SO PISSED.

I'd be mad as hell too....girl your right to be upset

The strip club doesn't bother me but the fact that he tried to hide it would be a huge red flag. My thing would be if you didn't do anything wrong then why hide it?