Strip Club the night before the wedding

I don't really get the difference between any other night. If you trust that he didn't do anything then I would let it go.

@Nikki I completely agree with you. That's ridiculous @Naijell

I personally have no problems with strip clubs or my SO going to them (he doesn't but there's talk of a bachelor party).

But I agree the timing is terrible and I'd feel weird about it too. I'd feel weird if my SO was out anywhere until 4 am the morning of our wedding.

Wowsie. I would be pissed to the max. I don't mind stript clubs but the night before your wedding?! plus probably getting boozed up the night before. Honestly I would expect an apology. So disrespectful

"Boys will be boys" is not an excuse for bad behavior. I would be hurt as well as I don't want anyone being sexual with my FH other than me, even in "play". But I think the bigger issue is that he basically lied by trying to not tell you where he was. Yes, this is a big deal. Regardless of what people say though, it's important to remember that if it bothers you, then it needs to be discussed and worked out with your H.

I think the issue is that it shows a lot of disrespect to be out that late knowing the next day is KIND OF IMPORTANT?! I love strip clubs, but if DH had gone out the night before the wedding until 4 am and lied to me about where he was, I would have been so pissed. You guys need to have a serious talk and consider some counseling.

Your feelings are your feelings. If you feel disrespected, then you have to communicate that to him.

You said you're bothered that he had strange girls all over him the night before the wedding, and any other night you wouldn't have cared.

So just be clear: you're not against strip clubs, you would have just preferred he not do this the night/morning before your wedding day? I can certainly understand why you'd be annoyed by that. I was a bit concerned FH's bach party was the last weekend before the wedding, but that was the best time for all involved.

Wouldn't it be fair to assume that the night before someone gets married, their focus might be on that instead of going out to a strip club?

I would be hurt, too but....it's not unheard of

I don't have a problem with FH going to strip clubs, but I would have a problem if he tried to pretend he didn't. And it's quite disrespectful to stay out that late the night before the wedding.

I don't think you're overreacting at all. Have you guys had a conversation about it? I find that when I'm upset, explaining that it's not the action itself that hurt me but the way he went about it goes a long way.

I agree that hiding it was wrong. I just personally would not differentiate between one night or the next. I would be more pissed about him being out to 4 am the night before the wedding in general. But that is just me.

I would be hurt too. I think its disrespectful. I understand a lot enjoy and/or are ok with strip clubs but I am not. I don't see the need to look at other naked women and have them touch you in any sort of way. My personally thinking is that's immature shit and those days should be over by the time you are planning a wedding.

True story: My sister and her Husband had the conversation prior and he still chose to go out and party at the strip club. Well my sister found out on their wedding day, right before their first dance. She is crying hysterically in all the photos and everyone thinks it was happy tears when in fact she was ripping him a new one.

OP: If you feel disrespected by this or are upset, you have the right to feel that way.

Only speaking for myself, the issues would be that this is being done the morning of our wedding, the hiding about it. The whole "being pressured" thing is a big problem. If he can't stand up for himself and say that he isn't comfortable with doing this, he needs to work on it. I would also be pretty pissed at the group that he went with that thought this wouldn't be a problem.

Shauna, you don't understand the difference between a bachelor party several months before your wedding, and not sleeping the night before your wedding because you are at a strip bar?

Nope, I would not be okay with that ever. Honestly, IMO if you feel the need to be at strip club EVER you aren't ready to get married.

I understand why you are upset, especially since this happened the day before your wedding and you didn't even have time to process it. Did you talk to him about strip clubs in advance? There is often immense pressure on guys to go to strip clubs for their bachelor party, even if it's not something would normally enjoy. If you didn't talk about it, he may have caved to pressure with his GMs telling him it's normal and everyone does it.

"There is often immense pressure on guys to go to strip clubs for their bachelor party"

Ugh, no. If you aren't old enough to say no to your friends, you aren't old enough to be married. Sorry. Don't blame it on your friends if you wanted to go.

I would be extremely hurt by this. I am all for FH going and getting some lap dances but not the night before the wedding. You need to express how you feel to your husband. There is nothing he can do about it now but he needs to know how disrespected you feel.

Not gonna lie, I'd be mad. It's the night/morning before you get married for goodness sake!

Don't get me wrong, I love strip clubs. FH and I go together and have a blast. I have no problem with him going to them during his bachelors party. But....the night before is a bit much.

Bottom line, If it's something you aren't comfortable with, and he's known this, and he tried to hide it from you...that's a big deal. You need to go to counseling to talk out this issue.