Groomsmen Wifes

With the exception of our Best Person’s husband and daughter (who are our BIL and Flower Girl), we’re having all partners of the bridal partner come at the same time as the guests and not planning any formal pictures with them. Most of these people are our friends so I wouldn’t mind including them in pictures, I just don’t think we’ll have time and it’s not necessary. I don’t think it’s fair to make parents and their kids hang out at the venue ahead of time when the wedding itself is already a long event. Let them stay at their hotel rooms and meet up with their spouses at the wedding.

I am in your camp!
We are also doing formal pictures before the ceremony (all if we can) but we're not having a bridal party though. Fiance's sister asked him if her husband would be included, he said no and I totally agree since we only want parents, grandparents,siblings in them, as well as one of his female cousin who is his best friend (#2 besides me of course 😆😀) and she's like sister to him + one of my cousin who's like a sister to me, too.. He didn't even want his mom's partner nor his dad's (they both live with their current partner) but he asked our photographer to put both of them at both ends, to "unedit" one photo they wil be in that he will give to his parents and one where they'll be cropped because he doesn't want to see any of the parent's partners in our album LOL.
At the end of the day, the more people in the pics, the longer it will take and your "pre-ceremony timeline" won't be infinitely expandable.

Having the groomsmen's wives/girlfriends doing photos means all photos that include the WP will be done twice: one with the wives/girlfriends, one without them.

I’m totally with you on this one. For us since they are all friends of ours and we know their SOs so we will be getting photos with our party member and their significant others later. We have a small guest list so we want a picture with everyone. But yeah they definitely don’t need to be there and most probably wouldn’t come

I think you are reasonable, it doesn't make much sense to have them there.

I agree with you! What will these ladies do? Where will they hang out? Are you expected to feed them (5 hours is a LONG time!)? I have so many questions that my advice would be no SO's!

The partners of the bridal party only need to be in pictures if they're also family members. Case in point: my two sisters were bridesmaids, and therefore their husband were in the pictures with my family. Two of my husband's groomsmen were married or in long-term relationships, but neither of those ladies were in the pictures. They sat in the audience and then hung out during cocktail hour just like everyone else. It's sweet that your FH doesn't want them to feel excluded, but they don't have that much to do.

They can be included in photos after the ceremony along with other family members, but the time before the ceremony should be about your bridal party - the people you chose to be in the wedding.

Those women will tell their spouses they don't want get ready 5 hours early with a bride they don't know. 😆

I'm totally with you! I'm sure they don't want to get there super early either.

View Quoted Comment Right! I mean I am excited to meet people I haven’t met but it will be awkward for both me and them if they are there getting ready with me.

Hello! I am in a very similar boat, together we set boundries except our own children. All of the Bridal Party can have a plus 1, however we decided to send out a first round of invites for 130 people including the bridal party and if we get people who say they cannot come out of our closest family and friends then we can extend plus ones to some of our guest . I have a wedding planner who is keeping track of everything for us .

But its your day love, so you get whatever you want. Don't be afraid to say no and set boundaries. Do what your gut tells you .

View Quoted Comment You are right! Thank you. Sometimes I just need reassurance I am not falling into bridezilla patterns hahaha!

View Quoted Comment Exactly! I would feel obligated to tend to them when I myself have to get ready lol

Wives in the photos? What the hell? Lol they’re not in the wedding! Photos are for the wedding party and close family! And you’re right, what are they going to do for hours while you get ready? But I will say I have been on the other foot where I was the guest of my now fiancé, neither of us were in the wedding. But since his cousin was the groom we just did groom stuff. I was the only female with the guys because I wasn’t included with the ladies. But I didn’t mind because I didn’t know them and I felt comfortable with my bf and him introducing me to the guys and family.

Whenever my husband and I are in weddings, the other one always arrives to the ceremony at the same time as other guests. I think you are being reasonable here!

Just a suggestion - at all of our friends' weddings, we have done one nice group photo of everyone with their spouses during the reception. Not a formal one, but one that always gets added to the list of photos to be taken, and then it's just kind of like, "hey friends the photographer is taking the friend photo!" and we all would gather around the bar or on the dance floor really quickly. That could be something nice for your DH and also a nice memory! Plus I think a less formal photo for friends is perfect - leave the formal stuff for family! It has been cool to see how our friend group has grown and changed over the years.

Agreed. If you aren’t in the wedding party you shouldn’t be there. We avoided this completely by not having his brothers be GMs because we KNEW there would be issues like this with the wives.

I agree with what you said. Personally, my fiancé is a groomsmen for a friends wedding and I’m not in the bridal party. I just plan on showing up with the other girls that aren’t in the bridal party for right before the ceremony… not super early with my fiancé. That’s their moment and I don’t need to be there. It’s obviously different if the bride and groom included the significant others but I don’t think they are. Especially if they aren’t married or engaged, I wouldn’t include them in the pictures. It should really be for family and your bridal party. You can always take pictures later with them during the reception

I agree with you and honestly I have been the partner of the best man multiple times and wouldn't have wanted to be there hours early. Often I was at the hotel just relaxing and getting ready there were a few times I ran some last minutes errands for the couple or my partner (like one time he brought one shoe with him doh haha never living that down). You can do some sweet pics with your bridal party's families and partners during the cocktail hour or anytime throughout the reception. One thing that may be nice is have your photographer take a picture of just each couple/family in your bridal party and you can gift it to them later. But if your fiancé is insisting on it personally its not something that I d argue over but I wouldn't spend time on it either that s his project if he insists on that.