Etiquette and Bridal Registries

How do you tell people in your invitation that you are registered with a bridal registry so it doesn't sound tacky?

Posted On: Nov 5, 2009 at 9:15 PM | Vendors are allowed to participate

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KT in PD
Community Headliner

Wedding: 03/13/2010

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Nda_ r.
Community Superstar

Wedding: 06/05/2010
Posted On: Nov 05, 2009 at 9:16 PM | Flag As Inappropriate
You don't put it on the invite (because it does look tacky) instead spread it word of mouth or if you have a wedding website you could list them on there.

Bayridgeqt
Community Superstar

Wedding: 07/02/2010
Posted On: Nov 05, 2009 at 9:20 PM | Flag As Inappropriate
If you are having a bridal shower, whoever is throwing it can throw the cards of where you registered in with that invite so people know where you are registered.

KT in PD
Community Headliner

Wedding: 03/13/2010
Posted On: Nov 05, 2009 at 11:45 PM | Flag As Inappropriate
Thanks, Nda_r and Bayridgeqt,
You're both right.

cnmnfe44
Community Superstar

Wedding: 01/23/2010
Posted On: Nov 06, 2009 at 7:00 AM | Flag As Inappropriate
i dont know if its proper but i put a buisness card with ours names wedding date and wedding website like a reminder card and the web site has our honeymoon registry info and in case people dont notice that a 5pm is a little more dressed up attire we added little info like that

Amy C.
Community Superstar

Wedding: 06/05/2010
Posted On: Nov 06, 2009 at 7:10 AM | Flag As Inappropriate
do what you wanna dont let people tell u what to do i am putting a little note in r std and invites only because people have asked if i would let them know where to go to get us wedding gifts

T.F.
Community Newcomer

Wedding: [Private]
Posted On: Nov 06, 2009 at 8:47 AM | Flag As Inappropriate
nda is 100% correct. Putting registry info on the wedding invitation is tacky.

lovethebeach16
Community Newcomer

Wedding: 09/17/2010
Posted On: Nov 06, 2009 at 8:50 AM | Flag As Inappropriate
If you think your guests will be completely confused without registry information in the invitation, you can go as far as include an insert saying "For further wedding information please visit our website at xxx". Anything more than that crosses over the tacky line. But, I wouldn't include an insert just for that, I'd only do it if you had other inserts for hotels/reception card, etc.

Lucky_Girl23
Community Superstar

Wedding: 02/13/2010
Posted On: Nov 06, 2009 at 8:52 AM | Flag As Inappropriate
We decided to make an "about us" thing and we put a little bit about how we met, how we got engaged, our parents' names, and our wedding website/registry information on it. Then we are going to stick that into our invitations. We're only doing that because of the people we really don't talk to a lot and because word of mouth doesn't spread to another state when the family doesn't talk regularly.

Jessica B.
Community Megastar

Married: 09/05/2009
Reviews: 6
Posted On: Nov 06, 2009 at 9:05 AM | Flag As Inappropriate
I actually have to agree that it is a little tacky to put registry info on your invites. If you read any etiquette books, sites, etc, they all tell you not to put it. Instead, do like the pp said, put it on a wedding website. Or spread by word of mouth. That's what we did and we only got a couple things not from our registry (and those that bought from outside the registry only did so b/c Dillards was out of some of our stuff).

Tracey
Community Superstar

Wedding: 05/22/2011
Posted On: Nov 06, 2009 at 9:51 AM | Flag As Inappropriate
You're not supposed to put it in your invitation but if you're not having a shower or a wedding website, there's really no other choice, just try to do it discreetly!

KT in PD
Community Headliner

Wedding: 03/13/2010
Posted On: Nov 06, 2009 at 10:24 AM | Flag As Inappropriate
I have put 3 questions on webwire in the last week, and you have all been so kind to write to me. Thank you so much. I have gotten good advice and have been able to go from there with each problem. I think for a while now, I'll be good to go with my stuff.
Good luck to all of you with your weddings.
KD in PD

The Potters
Community Superstar

Married: 09/12/2009
Reviews: 8
Posted On: Nov 06, 2009 at 11:45 AM | Flag As Inappropriate
I put a card in my invite that listed where we are registered. I totally don't see it as tacky. Its a wedding, you give gifts. That is just the way it goes. And people want to know where you're registered. Maybe 20 years ago it wasn't proper. But c'mon, things have changed there are no rules anymore. If you want people to know then put it in there. Would you ever open a wedding invite with registy info and think "omg that is so tacky!" I doubt it. :o)

username_2010
Community Headliner

Wedding: 07/04/2010
Posted On: Nov 06, 2009 at 11:48 AM | Flag As Inappropriate
"If you think your guests will be completely confused without registry information in the invitation, you can go as far as include an insert saying "For further
wedding information please visit our website at xxx".
That's what we did

Nda_ r.
Community Superstar

Wedding: 06/05/2010
Posted On: Nov 06, 2009 at 11:50 AM | Flag As Inappropriate
Even if you don't have a wedding website you still should not put it on the invite. It can be spread word of mouth and most people know to check the traditional places.
Would you have birthday party and put your bday list on the invites?

The Potters
Community Superstar

Married: 09/12/2009
Reviews: 8
Posted On: Nov 06, 2009 at 11:54 AM | Flag As Inappropriate
Children do now a days because they can register at places like toys r us. I've seen it. There are plenty of people out there who don't use the internet. And not everyone knows someone who is going to the wedding so I don't think word of mouth works either. If I'm invited to a wedding I want to know where I should purchase their gift at. I want to know.

Nda_ r.
Community Superstar

Wedding: 06/05/2010
Posted On: Nov 06, 2009 at 11:55 AM | Flag As Inappropriate
Eh. I feel invites should have a cleaner, more formal feel. Something that can appear gift grabby like that doesn't seem formal to me. I've never had a problem figuring out where someone was registered.

The Potters
Community Superstar

Married: 09/12/2009
Reviews: 8
Posted On: Nov 06, 2009 at 11:57 AM | Flag As Inappropriate
Also I want to add that you shouldn't put it ON the invite. Because then it is there forever and no that isn't pretty/nice/formal. But putting a card in the envelope with your registy info is fine by me.

Soon2BeWifey
Community Superstar

Wedding: [Private]
Posted On: Nov 06, 2009 at 12:09 PM | Flag As Inappropriate
I have seen it in the bridal shower invitations. And also I have seen it just on a little card stating something like,
"This couple is registered at Target, Wal Mart, and Macy's"
And the card is just put inside of the envelope, loose and free :)
I don't think this is tacky at all. If I were to get an invitation and it didn't state where you were registered I wouldn't go searching for the information, I would just give you cash. Or maybe that's just 'cuz I'm a little on the lazy side haha

Rev. Carleen
Community Megastar

"With This Ring" Wedding Ceremonies
Posted On: Nov 06, 2009 at 12:26 PM | Flag As Inappropriate
The reason you can put it in a shower invitation is because gifts are expected. It cannot go in the wedding invitation because that implies that you expect a gift. So no matter what year we are living in, this is wrong.

The Potters
Community Superstar

Married: 09/12/2009
Reviews: 8
Posted On: Nov 06, 2009 at 12:44 PM | Flag As Inappropriate
I am sorry but you expect gifts at your wedding. You just do. You can say "just being there is good enough for us" And I TOTALLY agree with that. But still, it is a wedding, you give a gift.

Konichiwa
Community Superstar

Wedding: 01/17/2010
Posted On: Nov 06, 2009 at 12:56 PM | Flag As Inappropriate
I've had many invitations sent to me with the registry card inside. It's personally never offended me. HOWEVER, there are lots of people who do see this as tacky. In my case my STDs had the wedding website printed on the bottem of the card. 2 separate people told me they assumed that was the company that made the STD's website! So I did decide to put a separate card in my invitations that says "For information on hotel accommodations, map & directions, registry, RSVP, and all things wedding, please visit our website." Then I also included our web address on the card.

The Potters
Community Superstar

Married: 09/12/2009
Reviews: 8
Posted On: Nov 06, 2009 at 12:59 PM | Flag As Inappropriate
lol Konichiwa, same thing here. I put our website on the STDs but some people didn't even notice it was there. Especially close family because they saw the STD magnet and knew what it was and threw it on their fridge. They didn't even read it because they already knew all the info....or so they thought. ha

HPFanatic
Community Newcomer

Wedding: 10/10/2010
Posted On: Nov 06, 2009 at 1:04 PM | Flag As Inappropriate
If I got registry information in an invitation, I'd think it was tacky. It says the couple is thinking about the gift more than the celebration of marriage. To me, getting gifts is NOT the important part, and I wouldn't stop someone at the door for not coming without a gift. I know you don't feel that way, but it could give that impression.
I've never met anyone who said, "Gee, I just tried and tried and could NOT find out there they were registered." Traditionally, you ask the wedding party, the families, and hey, I wouldn't be offended if I was asked myself where I'm registered. They could probably google your names and find it too.
Also, what's the worst than can happen if they chose not to find your registry info? They give you a check? They give you another gift? They show up without one? Why would any of those situations be the end of the world? The gifts aren't the important part - your fiance is! Hope this helps!

Rev. Carleen
Community Megastar

"With This Ring" Wedding Ceremonies
Posted On: Nov 06, 2009 at 1:22 PM | Flag As Inappropriate
Well, I do remember you telling us after your wedding, thePotters that you "expect" them from everyone. The wedding ceremony is the reason for the celebration. Gifts were an expectation of the shower. Anything after that, that you get at the wedding is just "gravy". You are inviting people to share your joy. If they choose to bless you, be grateful, but do not ever make it an expectation. This mentality can lead to over-inviting because you believe you will "make it up in gifts".

The Potters
Community Superstar

Married: 09/12/2009
Reviews: 8
Posted On: Nov 06, 2009 at 1:25 PM | Flag As Inappropriate
Wow this is such a touchy subject! I did not expect a gift from anyone. I had a gift with no tag. So I wanted to find who it came from, in my search I realized a few that didn't get us anything. I was hurt, yes...because some are people I've known my whole life who I'm very close to. Others, I totally understood bc money is tight. This is about putting it in the invite. It is up to the bride/groom....nobody else. So it doesn't really matter.

Fernnie
Community Headliner

Wedding: 06/12/2010
Posted On: Nov 06, 2009 at 3:23 PM | Flag As Inappropriate
I think it is up to the individual to do what is comfortable for them. Most of the time when someone receives an inviation they will ask around to see what is really needed and if they are registered anywhere. But I do like the website idea.
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