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Destination Wedding or Plan in a city you do not live in or 2 receptions?
Ok so I am having a problem... All of my family(75people) is from Chicago and all of my fiancees family(25people) are from Boston but we live in California. We meet at college in California and wanted to have our wedding there because it is meaningful and we have tons of connections for cheaper rates since we just recently graduated. It is also just a gorgeous campus. But after making the guest list I realize that everyone would have to buy a ticket. Out of 100 people only 5 people live in Cali. I could cover there living because we have nice dorms with personal bathrooms for people that didn't want to do a hotel.
Is it selfish to have it in Cali? Should I have 2 receptions? Or should I have it in Chicago where mostly everyone lives? Chicago would be a hastle and way more expensive for us but Cali would be expensive for everyone else? I mean we are recent grads aka BROKE...What do you think?

Married: 05/19/2011
Posted On: Apr 30, 2010 at 4:20 PM | Vendors are allowed | Add to My Watchlist | Flag As Inappropriate

4 Answers This question is closed for answers.

May 04, 2010 at 1:02 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I would talk to your family, and get their input. Many of my couples are in your same situation. They live one city, families two other cities, and they pick a center spot. One of my brides has a disabled mother, so the groom's family agreed to travel, and they had it in her parent's city, even though that meant she and her FH were 8 hours away. It just depends. I would say definitely hire a planner though, whatever you do. It may seem like an expense, but it will save you lots of time and money in the long run.

Married: 10/25/2010
May 11, 2010 at 12:06 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
We're in a similar situation and on a tighter budget. Most of our friends and all of my family are in Boston, where we live, but many of his friends and all of his family live in California. His parents can't travel overnight anywhere due to an ailing grandparent, so flying here isn't an option for them, and doing something in California just doesn't make sense as most of our guests live in Boston. So we've decided to have our formal ceremony in...Mexico! It'll be very intimate and low-key, just a handful of guests, and we'll stay on for our honeymoon to kill 2 birds with one stone. Then we'll do an informal cocktail reception in Boston, followed by one in California to accomodate all friends and family. We'll likely do it at restaurants rather than function halls to avoid room fees and all that, and we'll do heavy appetizers rather than a sit-down meal.

In your case, I might do the actual ceremony at a 'neutral' site (California), then have a more low-key reception in Chicago.

Married: 2+ years ago
Reviews: 11
May 20, 2010 at 4:29 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I like the idea of having the ceremony in Cali and 2 receptions in Chicago and Boston. It's a lot of work, but so worth it to have EVERYONE in on the celebration.
May 26, 2010 at 3:47 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I think the suggestion of talking to your families is a good one. I live in California with my family scattered around the eastern seaboard. My boyfriend's family is in Australia. I know that our families would travel to CA to be with us on our wedding day. If our friends couldn't? We'd understand. But if we did it in Australia or on the east coast I think it might be hurtful to whichever side of the family we didn't "pick" to go to. Another thing to consider is where do you plan on living now that you've graduated? Are you staying in CA? Boston? Chicago? It sounds like your gut feeling is to have it in CA. Talk to your families about your concerns and ask them if they would support you in choosing CA. I bet they would.. and if not, THEN figure out what to do next. Good luck!!

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