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RSVP...... HELP!!!
I have sent out my invitations with the RSVP's, and the due date is fast approaching. I want to call those (about 45 couples) who haven't RSVP'd (after the due date of course), but my fiance' thinks that it is rude! I think it's rude for them not to, but i'm not sure what to do because most of the guests are his friends and family. But i do need a head count because i want to have enough food and chairs for everyone. Help!!!

Married: 04/25/2009
Reviews: 1
Posted On: Mar 22, 2009 at 10:58 AM | Vendors are allowed | Add to My Watchlist | Flag As Inappropriate

10 Answers This question is closed for answers.

Married: 05/15/2009
Reviews: 7
Mar 22, 2009 at 11:28 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
It's not rude at all to call them. How else are you supposed to have an accurate head count? I agree that it's incredibly rude of them not to reply. But when you call you won't be telling them that of course! You're just asking if you should expect them or not, nothing rude in that. I think many many brides end up having to do this as rarely does every single guest RSVP on time and most people need that accurate count for vendors. It would be much more uncomfortable for everyone if you end up without enough chairs or food for everyone! Ask your FH which situation he'd rather have, a few phone calls or hungry people standing around at the wedding?
Mar 22, 2009 at 9:46 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Some people dont have a clue, LOL
A friendly phone call or e-mail is better than spending a few thousand on extra food, favors, table designs etc.

Married: 10/07/2011
Reviews: 5
Mar 22, 2009 at 11:39 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
It's not rude at all, it's what most people do. Usually you give them two weeks from when they most likely recieved the invitation. You can always phrase it "Hello! Did an invitation come int he mail? Just making sure you recieved it!" or something like that.

Married: 09/13/2008
Reviews: 5
Mar 23, 2009 at 6:24 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
Every bride has to make phone calls to the rude people that did not rsvp! What are you suppose to say to your caterer well 100 for sure & maybe another 45?! Your fiance is wrong on this count you HAVE to phone theese people.

Susie W.

The Wedding Loft
Mar 23, 2009 at 9:54 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
For sure make a friendly phone call or an email to remind them to send in RSVP's; this is not rude at all. Most guest have no clue how important this little card is; and once someone is in this position that will appreciate it more! As a wedding coordinator I have personally helped many brides and their families to call or email guest so as to get final count. Enjoy your day!!!


studio G occasions
Mar 23, 2009 at 1:13 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
A friendly phone call or e-mail is perfectly appropriate.
" I'd heard that some of the people we'd invited to our wedding hadn't received the invitation. Since we had not heard back to you, we wanted to make sure that you received your invitation." This gives them the opportunity to:
1- say no, in which case you apologize, get their correct address (for thank yous and a new invite,)give them the particulars, and get an answer.
2. say yes, and rsvp (hoepfully with all due apologies)
3. say yes and decline
Mar 23, 2009 at 3:41 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I agree, it's not rude at all. It is more rude of them not to RSVP. You give an envelpoe & stamps, it's so easy. We had to call a few people for my son's wedding & no one was hurt by it but was more embarrased that they didn't RSVP. My friend had 30 people that didn't RSVP so they didn't count therm. Yep, they all showed up & made the table situation chaos. They had to move tables, center pieces & it was so much stress on the families that the phone call is worth it. The problem with this too was the people who did not RSVP came early & got a seat leaving the people who did RSVP standing at the door waiting for the place to set up more tables. It was a bad situation & very stressful.

Married: 04/25/2009
Mar 27, 2009 at 9:22 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
What I did was send out a friendly email reminder, below is what i put.

Hi everyone,

I just wanted to send out one last friendly reminder to be sure to return the RSVP cards for the wedding to save my mom a call next week for those who have not responded for the deadline of April 1st. All you have to do is put your last name on the card provided and number of adults and children and mail it in the envelope provided. Postage is already on the envelope. This helps us plan for food for the reception and with the numbers being over 100 we need to make sure we plan for everyone.

I look forward to seeing many of you there and thank you if you have already RSVP'd. If you can't find the invitation you can email me the RSVP as well or my mom at XXXXXXXXX. I am sure this will be the only time you guys will see me in a dress . I look forward to sharing this time with all of you.

T. Rena

T. Rena Weddings / Events inc.
Mar 28, 2009 at 9:36 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Don't panic, wait a few days after the deadline on the rsvp and give them a quick call. Make it short and sweet.
" I noticed that we haven't recieved your rsvp card back?" They will usually answer with the reson why they can't attend of the fact that they will be attending and forgot to mail it back out. Always expect that 10% of your guest will not show and 40% won't rsvp.
Apr 08, 2009 at 6:02 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Try not to let something like this stress you out. It is not rude to call guests who have not RSVP'd. A polite "I just called to see if we needed to reserve a seat for you and (party)" would work. Good luck and congratulations on your upcoming wedding.

Vow of Conduct