Whether you’re worried that you’ll go into total bridezilla mode at some time during your engagement, or fear that you’ve already reached that point (if you have, it’s okay — relax with these tips), your bridesmaids’ behavior can be one of the first telltale signs that something has gone awry. Even without meaning to, you could be getting on their nerves or making them feel unappreciated, causing them to run for cover. Yes, it’s your wedding and your bridesmaids should go along with your wishes, but they’re also real people, and pushing their buttons is no way to thank them for being part of your special day.
Are you annoying your bridesmaids? Look for these warning signs and find out how to fix the situation.
They’ve gone M.I.A.
Your bridesmaids take forever to respond to your texts, and at least one person has left the group chat. When you tag your ‘maids in funny wedding memes, they don’t seem to appreciate your sense of humor (a.k.a. they barely acknowledge anything you share). You expected this to bring all of you closer together, but instead, you feel a little forgotten. What gives?
The fix: Of course your bridesmaids are happy that you’ve found the love of your life (they agreed to stand by your side, after all!), but it’s important to remember that this is your wedding, not theirs. Maybe your bridesmaids are experiencing wedding overload or engagement envy, and as a result, they’re not interested in discussing the details of your big day 24/7. In order to avoid constant wedding talk, they’re distancing themselves from you and possibly the other bridesmaids — intentionally or unintentionally. Give them a break by shifting your wedding conversations to someone who isn’t a bridesmaid, like your mom, a close relative, or someone who has shown genuine interest in the planning.
They don’t ask you how wedding planning is going
The only time your wedding comes up in a conversation with your bridesmaids is when you mention it. Even when you reach major planning milestones, like booking a venue or sending your invitations, they don’t share the joy of your OMG moment. Sometimes it feels like they’re practically ignoring the fact that, helloooo, this is one of the most exciting times of your life!
The fix: If one or more bridesmaid is giving you anti-wedding vibes, a possible reason for her behavior is that she isn’t feeling valued. While you probably aren’t doing this intentionally, it can sometimes happen if you have a large wedding party, or if a particular bridesmaid doesn’t have a super-close relationship with you like the other bridesmaids. This could cause her to detach from the situation by only discussing your wedding when necessary (i.e. thinking logically vs. emotionally).
Another possible reason for her disinterest is jealousy. Maybe a bridesmaid is envious of your wedding or engagement, for whatever reason, and her coping method is to avoid talking about it as much as possible. Either way, you can’t force a bridesmaid to show constant interest in your wedding plans — that will only create drama that you definitely DON’T need. Do your best to keep conversations light and positive, with a balance of wedding and non-wedding talk. Focus on her life for a while and ask her how she’s doing to re-strengthen your bond. Eventually, she should come around on her own terms.