Yes, you will be the center of attention on your wedding day. However, that doesn’t mean that you can treat your bridesmaids like servants or ladies-in-waiting. Remember, your bridesmaids have lives, jobs, families, and budgets, and should be respected. To that end, be mindful of how you treat each ‘maid and avoid the following phrases.
These are the top things your bridesmaids definitely do not want to hear.
“This is the dress I’ve selected for you. And that’s final.”Even if you do have a specific dress in mind, you want your bridesmaids to feel comfortable and confident in whatever they wear – and find something that fits their budgets. Allow your bridesmaids to try on dresses and keep an open mind. The ensembles you had initially selected for your ‘maids may not be the ones that look best on them – and that’s in the end, what’s most important.
“Pick whatever dress you want. Seriously, I don’t care.”It may sound like you’re being easy, breezy, and relaxed about the whole bridesmaid dress thing by allowing your ‘maids to pick their own ensemble, but actually, you may be making things even more confusing for them. Provide some parameters (a color, length, and fabric) to help guide them to the right ensemble.
“You must wear these accessories…and pay for them yourself.”Your bridesmaids are responsible for purchasing their dress, but you are responsible for buying them any add-ons, like shoes, hair accessories, or jewelry you’d like them to wear on the big day.
Photo: Svetlana Photography
“I want my bridal shower to look like…"Sit back, relax, and let your bridesmaids plan your pre-wedding events. If these are indeed your nearest and dearest pals, they will have your best interests at heart, so there’s no need to micromanage.
“All of my pre-wedding events are mandatory.”Again, your bridesmaids have other responsibilities aside from your wedding. Cut them some slack and instead of being negative if they can’t attend, be grateful if they can.
“We’re going to (x faraway location) for my bachelorette party.”Consider the fact that not everyone will be able to afford a fiesta in Cabo or a fête in Paris for your bachelorette bash. Your bachelorette party should be planned by your bridesmaids, and be something everyone can afford and enjoy. If you are set on a trip, make sure there’s also a celebration closer to home that everyone can attend.
“No, you may not bring your significant other to the wedding."Your bridesmaids have done so much to help you out before the wedding, so it’s a good idea to allow them to bring a plus-one to your wedding. While you don’t have to offer the same to your other guests who don’t have long-term significant others, your wedding party members should get this extra courtesy.
Photo: Erin Lane Photography