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How to Enjoy Your Wedding if You Hate Being in the Spotlight

There are a few things that you and your partner can do to make the day a bit more comfortable and easier for everyone. Check out our tips for shy brides and grooms.


If you’re an introvert, the idea of being the center of attention at your wedding can be a little (or extremely) nerve-wracking. From conversing with guests to performing the first dance, introverted brides and grooms may find their wedding day to be overwhelming. Fortunately, there are a few things that you and your partner can do to make the day a bit more comfortable and easier for everyone.

Check out our tips for embracing the spotlight—and having the best time—on your wedding day. 

Cut your guest list

A smaller guest list means fewer people to interact with and hopefully, less stress. Keep the guest list to family members and friends that you actually know and want present on your big day. So that means your in-laws’ co-workers and your great-aunt’s neighbors shouldn’t make the cut. Choosing a small venue with a strict capacity can be your “excuse” in keeping your guest list intimate.

Choose your wedding party wisely

While having a big wedding party can be lots of fun, it can be a bit overwhelming too. Keep your wedding party to just your nearest and dearest to avoid any unnecessary drama, and to have an inner circle that you know has your back.

Do an engagement session

If you’re camera-shy, having an engagement session before your wedding will help you feel more confident in front of the camera before your wedding day. Your photographer will also get a better sense of your personality and which poses you feel most comfortable with.

Don’t skip the rehearsal

Walking down the aisle will be your big moment in the spotlight, so it’s best to get some practice beforehand. Make sure you schedule a rehearsal for the day before your wedding, or the morning of, so that you’ll feel comfortable with exactly how the processional will go.

happy bride with veil

Choose the right attire

When shopping for your wedding dress or suit and accessories, pick attire that makes you feel comfortable and confident. If that means wearing flats instead of heels, go for it! And when it comes to hair and makeup, don’t overdo it. Looking and feeling like the best version of yourself, not an unrecognizable glambot, is totally the way to go.

Say “yes” to a first look

Many brides and grooms have told us that choosing to do a “first look” was the best wedding-related decision they made. The first look allows couples to see each other for the first time in a private setting, not in front of all of their family members and friends at the ceremony (too much pressure!). It also affords couples the opportunity to take their wedding portraits in advance and, again, in private.

Keep the getting-ready area calm

Whether you’re getting dressed at home, in a hotel room, or at your venue, try to keep the environment as calm and stress-free as possible. Limit your posse to just your nearest and dearest, provide food and drink, and create a playlist of music you love to keep the mood as chill as possible—you can even put on a movie if that helps! Also, we recommend hiring a wedding planner, or at the very least a day-of coordinator, to handle any last-minute tasks or unexpected issues that may arise so you won’t have to deal with unnecessary distractions or stressors.

Take breaks

If at any point during the day things become too overwhelming, it is perfectly okay to take a short break. After the ceremony is a great opportunity to steal a few moments alone, and sneaking away for a few moments during dinner or dancing at the reception can be a welcome respite, too. It might be a good idea to have a code word with your new spouse and/or your wedding party members to signal that you need some solo time—even if it’s just to go to the bathroom to freshen up.

married couple making grand entrance at reception

Think of conversation topics in advance

If you’re shy, you might find it difficult to come up with things to talk about with your guests during cocktail hour or the reception. Of course, you can just say “Thank you so much for coming!” and move on, but you might want to do a little pre-wedding “homework” to think of some conversation starters. For example, talking about their kids, a recent vacation, or even just the weather, can be easy topics to chat about.

Don’t follow traditions

There are a lot of traditional wedding activities that require the couple to be the center of the attention. But times have changed and there’s no “right” way to have a wedding—so you do you! Skip the first dance if the very thought of dancing in front of people gives you hives. Forget the cake cutting! Say buh-bye to the bouquet and garter toss! This is your wedding and all of the day’s activities should be ones that you will genuinely enjoy.

Fake it ‘til you make it

In the grand scheme of things, your wedding is a relatively short period of time. Embrace your happiness about marrying your partner and pretend that you’re actually enjoying being the center of attention. Slap a big smile on your face (even if you’re feeling somewhat nervous)—you may actually surprise yourself and have more fun than you thought!

Focus on your partner

You and your new spouse should stick together as much as possible during the day—really be there for each other. If your partner is more outgoing, he or she can take the lead on things like giving a thank-you speech or making conversation with guests. Support each other, and if you’re feeling uncomfortable at any point, just give your partner’s hand a squeeze and remember what your wedding day is all about—celebrating your love for one another.