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Oh... and I must admit some confusion regarding etiquette of showers, as well as some reluctance about the whole gift giving thing. I don't necessarily want or need presents. Of course, I'd be delighted if I got some... but really, I feel weird about it. Has anyone ever done a shower where gift giving isn't the central focus?

At every bridal shower I've ever been to or decorated, the gift giving is the central activity. I've even seen the bride seated on a special couch with her helpers seated on either side, and the gifts piled on a table behind them. Gift opening is a big deal...just like at Baby Showers. Depending on your personality or the personality of your family and friends, the shower can be a quiet elegant brunch with mimosas and finger foods using the colors of the wedding, or it can be a big buffet with wedding games and balloons and lots of squealing over presents. I think that's kind of what your MOH was asking. What do you want?

MJ... I'm not really sure what I want! :)
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Do people who bring gifts to bridal showers typically bring gifts to weddings too? I ask because my FH and I agreed that we really don't want a registry. I'm sure we'll make up some sort of list for those people who insist on asking us, but we're not advertising it or anything. I'd hate to tell my guests that their presence is all the presents we need, and then invite them to a bridal shower where presents are expected.
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I guess that if bridal shower gifts are completely separate from the wedding gift giving, then maybe I can find some sort of set-up that I'm comfortable with. I found a website that had an idea for a pampered wife shower... where the guests brought things like candles, bath salts, & massage gift certificates. I think I'd be more comfortable with that than I would be receiving towels and blenders.

Those invited to the shower will bring a gift then and to the wedding as well. That is just standard in my opinion.
One of my favorite showers that I attended was a brunch theme. It started at 11:00. They had quiche, fritattas, egg bakes, bannana bread, mini muffins...... and of course mimosas. Don't think you have to go over the top in inviting people. Sometimes it is nice to have an intimate group of friends and family.
I would also love the opportunity to help you with your shower invitations. Check out my unique designs at
http://www.takeitpersonallybychristine.com/wedding-shower-invitations.html
Good Luck
Christine

Thanks for the clarification! After some thinking, I'm a bit more comfortable with the gift getting thing. I'll give the theme a bit more thought though. I hadn't really thought about shower stuff before.

Maybe you can do a theme. I am having a couples shower and my themes is going to be "Stock The Bar".
I am going to register @ Target for bar items. (wine glasses, beer mugs, stuff like that) and then write a cute poem sugg them to bring a bottle of liquor along with whatever gift they bring.
But gifts are the big part of it

Here are my thoughts on wedding showers: Don't have a theme, don't play games, if the weather is nice have it outdoors if at all possible, offer a light lunch and drinks, open gifts while people are eating, and keep it short and sweet - people won't usually leave until you're done opening your presents...so wrap it all up within 2 hours so they have the option of leaving.

My friend had a wine theme for her shower. Really the only part of the shower that used the theme was the decorations. Her fiance had proposed at a winery so it fit nicely. A lot of times the person throwing the shower will make your wedding colors the theme and use those color plates and decorations.

If there's something you need, you can throw theme gift showers. It makes it easier for the people bringing gifts. It can be a personal shower. Bath stuff, perfume, nighties, gift certificates to a salon, your favorite make-up. Or, if you have a friend who sells Avon or Pampered Chef or some other "brand" that you like, you could have a personalized Bridal Shower Party. Stock the bar is a good idea. I've seen recipe and food showers, with everybody writing down their favorite recipe on cards that came with the invitation attached to some component of the recipe like really good chocolate, or a jar of capers or gourmet BBQ sauce. It's inexpensive, but personal.