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Is it appropriate to invite people to a bridal shower but not the wedding?
I am having a fairly small wedding, mainly family and a few close long time friends. Most of the friends I work with, will be working the day of my wedding, as we work shiftwork. My future mother in law and sister in laws want to throw a bridal shower. I just don't know if it's proper to invite someone to a shower and not the wedding/reception. I don't want the guests of the wedding to think that I am just trying to get gifts either. Can someone give me some insight?

Married: 05/02/2009
Reviews: 7
Posted On: Jan 20, 2009 at 2:22 PM | Vendors are allowed | Add to My Watchlist | Flag As Inappropriate

6 Answers This question is closed for answers.

Married: 01/23/2011
Reviews: 3
Jan 20, 2009 at 4:46 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Normally for a bridal shower you invite the people that are invited to the wedding. But if it is for friends that cannot come to the wedding i would invite them. but dont invite someone to the bridal shower and then not to the wedding.

Vanessa A.

Alce Events
Jan 20, 2009 at 8:13 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Guests invited to your bridal shower are also invited to your wedding, with the exception of coworkers. Doing otherwise would indicate that you simply invited them for the gifts, and against proper etiquette.

Vanessa Alce
Alce Events Inc.
Jan 20, 2009 at 8:13 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I think that you can have people at your shower that r not coming to the wedding, I think people will understand if you tell them to that your having a small wedding, but you would love for them to be part of it, by celebrating with your in your shower, and ar'nt showers surprise? so It not really you who chooses who s coming or not......


Shavon's Wedding Silks
Jan 21, 2009 at 1:14 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
I agree with Joseph. You usually don't throw your own bridal shower so there will probably be people there that will not be on your wedding list. I know that was the case with my own wedding and no one had any problems with it. My mothers friend threw the bridal shower and there were people I've never even met. And I've actually been invited to bridal showers and not the actual wedding. In most cases it was because the couple was having a small wedding.

Reyna (Renee')

Jan 25, 2009 at 3:28 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
You can but only because you are not doing the inviting, the people throwing the shower are doing the inviting and if they choose not to come because they are not invited to the wedding that is up to them. But most will be happy to be part of the celebration, I worked with women (call centers) where there are from 40 to 100 people they came to the shower but they knew they are not invited to the wedding. Just plan enough food and games and have fun!

Married: 05/02/2009
Feb 03, 2009 at 2:00 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
If you're helping with the guest list it would be tacky to invite people to the shower and not the wedding. If you want to let them be part of the wedding events invite them to your bachalorette party. but if you're not helping with the guest list then it doesn't matter becuase you didn't invite them. I personally made up the guest list for my sister for my party becuase it's jsut a copy of the wedding guest list with just the womens' names on it. So in my case only people invited to the wedding are invited to the shower

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