Since you’re personalizing your summer wedding ceremony with aisle markers, arches or altar arrangements, and programs, why not consider writing your own vows too. First things first, decide if you want to recite separate or identical lines full of love, promises and memories (or inside jokes). Be specific! Your words may be different, but the tone should be the same. It’s about making a pact — an agreement that will last “until death do us part” — approximately one to three minutes long for your guests’ sake. Remember, practice beforehand in a natural, low key voice to keep you calm, and during the exchange, it’s okay to shed a tear or two.
What did you include in your wedding vows? Share in the comments below!
Writing our vows was something that I knew I definitely wanted to do. Soon after we were engaged I talked with Lovebug about it and he was on board! With our longer engagement, we obviously waited quite a while, but since we’re inching closer to the date (72 days!) we just decided to sit down and write them.
There are a few ways you can choose to write your own vows. Here are the options we considered:
1) Write them separately from each other so that they are a surprise on your wedding day OR Write them together to ensure similarity and a nice flow — This one I was pretty sure about: I wanted to write them together. We both wanted our vows to be similar. I wanted the ceremony to flow well and what if one of wrote something really long and the other only a few sentences? Also, the feminist in me was thinking, “What if he words something in a way I don’t like?” Like all that obey nonsense. Lovebug knows better, but I didn’t want to take any chances. Plus the experience of actually sitting down together and expressing what we wanted to say was truly amazing.
I’m sure that I don’t have to start this post by asking who watched the Royal Wedding this morning – I mean, we all are brides or brides-to-be for crying out loud!
My two cents: Gorgeous wedding dress and some amazingly hideous fascinators. Seriously.
But, that is not what this post is about. I wanted to draw attention to the big headlines Miss Middleton made by announcing that she would NOT be using the word “obey” in her vows.
Backstory: Diana broke from royal tradition and protocol when she left “obey” out of her vows to Prince Charles in 1981, and the decision caused much controversy. So – people wondered if Kate would choose to say it or not. She decided not to – She’ll promise to “love, comfort, honor and keep” her husband instead.
CC always tucks me in when I go to bed. He and I keep different schedules, so it’s a wonderful way for us to spend a bit of quality time together, at the closing of my day. Often times we share something we are grateful for that day, but always CC reminds me how much he loves me and shares his sweet adoration for me. It’s much like having him say loving vows to me, daily.
That’s Mr. Shudders and me snoozing!
Photo by my husband, CC
Which brings us to our wedding vows. We decided when we began planning, that we would write our own vows. We’re more than happy for the world (or at least our closest friends and family in attendance of our ceremony) to know how much we adore one another. CC is definitely the more verbal of the two, when it comes to gushing sweet nothings – but I’ve always enjoyed writing and knew I’d be able to come up with something that perfectly expressed my love for him.
“The greatest happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved, loved for ourselves and especially in spite of our selves. It is never being too old to hold hands. It is remembering to say I love you at least once a day. It is never going to sleep angry. It is at no time taking the other for granted. It is standing together to face the world and forming a circle of love that gathers the entire family. It is doing things for each other, in the spirit of joy, not sacrifice. It is speaking words of appreciation. It is cultivating flexibility, patience, understanding and A GOOD SENSE OF HUMOR! It is having the capacity to forgive and forget. It is allowing each other to grow.”
I thought I would start this post with one of my favorite parts of our ceremony. Our ceremony was short and sweet, and I mean 10 minutes short, but what that ceremony packed into those 10 minutes will live forever in my heart. I was able to stay pretty calm, only slightly crying once when Dogwood Dude began his vows, and there were times when I could feel myself bouncing up and down like a child due to the excitement. What I will remember most of all is the look on Dogwood Dude’s face (minus the sun that was shining in his eyes), and him stating the words “I give you my hand, my heart, and my love, from this day forward for as long as we both shall live.”
"I will cherish our union and love you more each day than I did the day before."