Bridal Guilt

Posted by bridalbuds on Feb 12, 2009

Since we got engaged and decided to have the wedding in California, I have felt that I am putting people out somehow. I’m not really big on having people do anything for me, and I like to take care of things myself. So when it comes to buying plane tickets, bridesmaid dresses, throwing me showers and a bachelorette party, and getting me a gift I begin to feel GUILTY. It makes me sad to think that others are sacrificing for our wedding.

Examples:

  1. Only two of my bridesmaids are from CA. The others have to buy plane tickets for themselves and their spouses…along with possibly renting a car. The Dude has a groomsman and wife coming from Hawaii.
  2. Of course my parents could be going on some fabulous vacation this year if they werent paying for the wedding.
  3. Taking time off work stresses me out and I feel guilty for missing a week and a half.

I remember when I went to the Dude’s sisters wedding…

I got the, “So…you’re from California?”…I said, “Yes”…”Well, we hope the wedding will be here, cause I doubt anyone will be able to make it out to California.”

That’s only the beginning of it.

My Aunt (from California): What’s the wedding date? Oh, I might be able to make it, but your uncle and cousin (in jr. high) wont be able to. She has a volleyball tournament that weekend in Reno.

Of course I said, “thats OK, they dont have to be there”. But deep down it hurt a lot. Its sad to think that they would rather go to a volleyball tournament than come to my wedding.
I originally wanted to have a tiny destination wedding, but it turned into “you can’t not invite ____ or ____”. So we decided to make it bigger.

When I think about it, I would do anything for these friends, and family. But why is it so hard for me to accept that they want to do things for me? Now Im feeling bridal guilt. Am I the only one out there that feels this?