couple looking at phone
Elizabeth Fogarty

Gone are the days of engagements past, when the only way friends and family would learn about a loved one’s engagement is when they were told, oftentimes in person, by the couple themselves. Now the moment is typically posted on one or several social media platforms all before the couple has time to soak up the news themselves! We’ve all seen couples go a bit overboard with posting, obviously not aware of things never to post on social media after getting engaged.

“Engagements have become almost as important as the wedding itself, with picturesque sceneries and professional photographers ready to snap the picture at the right moment so it can go on Facebook and Instagram,” says Andrew Selepak, PhD, professor in the department of telecommunication at the University of Florida and director of the graduate program in social media. “There are even engagement ring emojis to add to the picture just in case our followers aren’t 100 percent clear from the pictures and caption that someone just got engaged.”

While there’s not much established in the way of proper etiquette when it comes to engagement posts, there are definite dos and don’ts, along with things to never post on social media, Dr. Selepak points out. “For example, you can quickly turn off friends and followers by bragging about the cost of the engagement ring or how many diamonds on are on it,” he says. “Engagement rings are not cheap and everyone buys as much as they can afford, but showing off how big your diamond is or how much the ring cost is not going to get a lot of likes and may even turn off friends and followers from liking your pictures which was the whole point of posting them in the first place.”

To help you navigate the process of sharing your news on social media after getting engaged, here are some things to never post on social media post-engagement.  

Dozens of photos at a time

While engagement photos can be fun to share, it is certainly possible to go overboard with the posting on social media. “Very few people have the time or energy to look through an album of two hundred pictures—and it can seem like oversharing even to those who might be mostly interested,” says Jonathan Bennett, relationship and life coach and certified counselor in Columbus, Ohio. Instead, he suggests choosing a few of your favorites to post for more impact and meaningful viewing.

A close-up of the ring

Remember what your engagement is truly about—you and the love of your life embarking on this exciting next chapter. While the engagement ring itself is stunning and important, it should not take front-and-center stage. “Engagement photos are already showing off, but showing off the size of your ring or how many diamonds are on it comes across as bragging,” says Dr. Selepak. “You both can pose in a picture where people can see the ring on your finger, but it is the couple that should be the focus of the picture and not the rock on your finger.”

Mushy or revealing sentiments

Showing your love for each other is one thing. However, you don’t want to make your social media feed too mushy—going overboard with the sappy posts is one of the things to never post on social media, warns Bennett. “Some of your deepest desires and bedroom moments are best kept a private matter,” he says. “If a post or photo might make a future employer blush or cause family and friends to gag, it's best to leave it unpublished.”

How excited you are to celebrate with your guests

If you aren’t going to have an engagement party, and since not all of your followers are going to be invited the wedding, Dr. Selepak recommends not expressing your excitement over celebrating on social media. “Just let people know how happy you are to be engaged and let them celebrate with you with a like on Instagram and a love on Facebook,” he says.

Polls or voting features

Instagram’s great for its new features like the ability to poll your viewers and have them vote on certain things; however, your engagement and your engagement ring should not be on the menu for debate. “Unless you are trying to see if your ex is not happy for you being engaged, there is no reason to post a poll about your engagement,” says Dr. Selepak. “Just post your photo and let people like it without asking them to do or think about anything else.” ​