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With so many responsibilities for bridesmaids and groomsmen it can be hard to keep track of all the tasks on their to-do lists as well as their wedding expenses. Some of the most-commonly asked wedding party etiquette questions are related to gift giving: Do bridesmaids give wedding gifts? Do groomsmen give wedding gifts? What if it’s a destination wedding?  And how much should they spend? While it’s important to cross off all the items on a bridesmaid and groomsmen checklist, it’s also important to stick within their own budget when it comes to spending money on wedding gifts.

If the question on your mind is “Do bridesmaids and groomsmen give wedding gifts?” read on for the answer to this and other wedding party gift-related queries.

Do bridesmaids and groomsmen give wedding gifts?

Whenever one receives a wedding invitation, it is customary to send a wedding gift to the couple, either shortly before the wedding, on the wedding day or soon after the wedding, regardless of what you’re already spending on your role as a bridesmaid or groomsman.

Each bridesmaid or groomsman can purchase their own gift for the newlyweds or they can go in on a group gift, which is often an expensive item off the couple’s wedding registry.

What are some gift ideas for a bridesmaid or groomsmen to give as a wedding gift?

Shopping a couple’s wedding registry is the easiest way to find something to gift the couple, but if you don’t find anything that you want to gift from the wedding registry, think about what the couple would enjoy or need for their home.  Maybe they share a hobby and you can purchase something to complement it, or if they’re renovating their home and you can purchase a gift card to a renovations or home décor store, or perhaps you want to get them a more sentimental gift, such as a bottle of wine and two glasses, a gift certificate to a romantic or favorite restaurant, or a beautiful frame for them to place their wedding portrait.

How much money should a bridesmaid or groomsmen spend on a wedding gift?

Bridesmaids and groomsmen spend, on average, $125 on a wedding gift as a close friend or relative of the couple.  But regardless of what the average spend is, bridesmaids and groomsmen should spend what they can afford to spend on a wedding gift.  A bridesmaid and groomsman can spend around $1,800 on gifts, attire and hosting showers and bachelor/bachelorette parties as well as travel expenses, so they should determine what they can afford to spend on a gift – or a group gift – before shopping for a wedding gift.

How does a group wedding gift work?

A wedding party may decide to go in on a group gift, but before someone starts shopping, decide how much you will all spend in total or what you can each afford to spend.  Then with a total in mind search the couple’s wedding registry for a gift idea.

When a couple adds a big-ticket item to their registry, such as a sofa or KitchenAid Mixer, they may make the item available for guests to chip in and buy it together.  Or a group may choose one person to make the purchase and the others each pay him or her back a percentage of the total cost. Don’t forget to add tax, shipping and gift wrapping charges to the total cost before dividing the final price.

What other gifts should a bridesmaid or groomsmen expect to purchase for a couple?

As a member of the wedding party, a bridesmaid or groomsman may have to purchase multiple gifts for an engaged couple. If there is an engagement party or bridal shower, a gift – purchased individually or as a group – is expected, but the price of these gifts are less than the price of a wedding gift. Use the couple’s wedding registry as a guide to find the right present that fits within your budget, and possibly the party’s theme.  Engagement Party and bridal shower gifts are often priced between $25 to  50.

If the wedding is a destination wedding, does a bridesmaid or groomsmen have to buy a wedding gift for the couple?

When it comes to the question “do groomsmen and brides give wedding gifts?” the answer is the same for a hometown or a destination wedding. Yes, a wedding gift is still expected for a destination wedding. Unless the couple says something to the effect of ‘your presence is present enough’, a wedding gift should be purchased.  However, a wedding gift shouldn’t be brought to a destination wedding if it’s larger than an envelope because it may be difficult for the newlyweds to carry home, especially if they are first going on a honeymoon. Give or ship the wedding gift before the couple leaves for their destination wedding or after they return.

Does a wedding gift have to come from the couple’s wedding registry?

A wedding registry is created by the couple to help their guests find a wedding gift that the couple needs and wants.  And while it’s recommended to shop off the wedding registry, you don’t have to. It’s okay to find a gift for the newlyweds somewhere else.

If you’re not sure what the couple would like, ask them.  If you have an idea of what you want to buy, find out if what you’re thinking of getting them would be something they would enjoy. It’s okay if your gift is not a surprise to them.

Before clicking purchase or picking something out at a store, confirm the couple’s shipping information.  They may be accepting gifts at home or having them shipped to a parents’ house.