11 Things NOT to Do After You Get Engaged

Wondering what NOT to do after you get engaged? Here are 11 common mistakes to avoid.

February 16, 2017

couple engagement photo laughing together

Congratulations—you just got engaged and now you’re getting married! This is sure to be an exciting time, but you may be wondering what to do after you get engaged. Many couples admit to getting a little ahead of themselves during this initial stage of planning, which can actually cause problems down the road.

Rushing the planning process

Instead of going into full wedding-planning mode minutes after the ring is presented, enjoy your first few weeks as a just-engaged couple. By all means, start thinking about the wedding, but ease into it. After you share your #justsaidyes moment with us, relax and focus on celebrating — you deserve it.

Thinking about the minor details before the big picture

This might seem counterintuitive, but when it comes to wedding planning, it’s best to start BIG and go from there. While it can be tempting to dream about cake flavors or what you want your place cards to look like, tackle the big-picture tasks — booking the venue, hiring your vendors, and hammering out your guest list — before moving onto the smaller stuff. On that note...

Going dress or attire shopping immediately

This is a tough one, we know! But we suggest waiting until you’ve chosen your venue before you hit the bridal salon or tux shop, as the venue will set the tone for your wedding and help inform your style.

Photo: Brita Photography

Being too rigid

When it comes to figuring out what to do after you get engaged, we recommend being flexible and keeping an open mind as you enter into your wedding planning experience. Compromises are inevitable, and there might be some details that are just plain out of your control. It’s OK! The more you can go with the flow, the happier you will be.

Succumbing to pressure

With that said, embracing flexibility does not mean you have to be a pushover. Trust us — everyone will have an opinion on how your big day should play out. It’s important for you and your partner to establish what elements are really important to you and voice that early on.

Discussing details that haven’t been finalized

If you’re wondering what to do once you’re engaged, it can be tempting to blab about ideas you’re tossing around (“guess which venue we might book!” or “here’s what I’m thinking for a color scheme!”), spreading the word prematurely can backfire. For now, keep any unknowns close to your chest. Plans change! Which brings us to...

Making promises you may not be able to keep

Telling your cousin she can bring her new boyfriend as a plus-one before you’ve even taken a stab at the guest list, or mentioning a ceremony reading to a friend before you’ve even thought about the program? Bad idea.

Photo: Andi Diamond Photography

Making decisions without your partner’s input

There are lots of choices to make as a just-engaged couple and you probably just want to cross some items off of that massive checklist — we get it. But don’t order that stationery, sign that contract, or make any other irreversible moves without running it by at least one other person (preferably your fiancé(e), ahem).

Oversharing

What should you definitely not do after you get engaged? Overshare! We recommend saving a little mystery for the big day. There’s no need to tell your family members, friends, co-workers, that girl you met on the train, every little detail about your wedding before the actual event.

Avoiding the wedding budget discussion

There’s a tendency to put this off at first since it can be an uncomfortable topic, but it’s really important! If you just got engaged, be sure to sit down with your parents and/or other VIPs to figure out what your wedding budget will look like, and how you will divvy it up.