The First 6 Questions You and Your New Fiancé(e) Must Answer
When it comes to what to talk about with your fiancé(e) after your engagement, consider these topics to set yourselves up for smooth sailing down the aisle.
There’s nothing that quite compares to the excitement of getting engaged. It’s a cloud nine, top-of-the-world kind of feeling and it’s worth soaking up every blissful moment. But once the news has been shared, the champagne has been popped, and your new fiancé(e) status begins to sink in, it’s time to think about what to talk about with your fiancé(e) after your engagement, wedding-wise.
When it comes talking to your fiancé(e) after your engagement, consider these topics to set yourselves up for smooth sailing down the aisle.
What’s our engagement timeline?
Many newly engaged couples feel pressure to set “the date” right away, and while it may be necessary for some circumstances to secure a dream venue or vendor, it’s most important to first determine a general timeline for your engagement. Do you want two years to plan your wedding or two months? Do you want a lavish celebration, a simple courthouse ceremony, or something in between? Is either of you in a school or work program that could interfere with a particular semester or season? All these factors will ultimately play into the date you choose and what’s realistic to organize within a given timeframe. There’s no right or wrong engagement timeline but it is critical to choose a route that works best for you as a couple.
What's our budget and who's paying?
Nobody likes to drop the “b” word—budget, that is—but it’s an important talk you’ll need to have with your fiancé(e) after your engagement. Before either of you get carried away booking vendors or vendors you should sit down and determine both the overall wedding budget and who’s paying for what. In some circumstances, this may be a conversation your parents or relatives should be present for to avoid any miscommunication of expectations down the line. When handled with openness and sensitivity, discussing the budget from the get-go will ensure you know how to financially prepare for this time in your life.
This conversation goes hand-in-hand with your budget because once you identify the priorities of your wedding you’ll be able to determine how to best allocate your finances. Think through some key elements like photography, venue, food, music, florals, fashion, and decide what is most important to the two of you. If you’re the foodie couple who wants to throw the party of a lifetime, you might decide to spend more on catering and entertainment while a fashionista couple might allocate more budget towards some jaw-dropping attire. Again, when thinking about what to talk about with your fiancé(e) after your engagement, an open and honest conversation will set you up for success all the way to “I do.”
What does our dream wedding look like?
While it’s not necessary to choose your wedding colors or the table linens from day one, it is important to talk about what you both want for your wedding day. Remember–each partner should have a say in this discussion to make sure your big day is a true representation of you as a couple. Talk about the overall look, feel, and vibe you want for your wedding and don’t be afraid to discuss the meaningful details you hope to incorporate.
How will we manage family expectations?
It’s no secret that family members often come with their own set of expectations for a wedding. If you’re lucky, all your loved ones will simply respect your wishes as the happy couple but if that’s not the case it might be time to talk with your partner. Discuss how to make sure your family feels involved in the festivities while also staying true to your style and vision. Couples planning an elopement, destination wedding, or any nontraditional celebration might find this post-engagement talk particularly helpful to stay on the same page and avoid any dreaded wedding planning drama.
What's our honeymoon game plan?
Okay, this conversation might not be a critical one but it’s definitely a fun distraction to dream about in the midst of big, and sometimes stressful, decision making. Plan a date night, order up some celebratory cocktails, and talk about all the locations on your travel bucket lists. Once you narrow in on a honeymoon locale you can begin planning the trip of a lifetime with the one you love. Best talk ever.
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