9 Things to Do When Planning a Wedding That No One Tells You

Here’s a list of things to do when planning a wedding that are less obvious, but still important.

January 16, 2018

two brides walking hand in hand

When it comes to things to do when planning a wedding, the list may seem pretty obvious: set a budget, pick a venue, find your vendors, and so on. However, there are certain tasks that you might not find in a standard wedding checklist but are pretty darn important. They might not be deal-breakers when it comes to your big day, but will certainly help make your wedding (and marriage!) run even more smoothly.

Here’s a list of things to do when planning a wedding that are less obvious, but still pretty essential.

Take your sweet time

Wedding planning is not a race. You may feel under a great deal of pressure to get things done like, yesterday, but rushing can lead to less-than-optimal results. Take your time in selecting your venue and vendors—don’t just automatically book the first venue that appears in a Google search. Make sure you take the time to fully vet and interview all vendors before booking and take a breath before making big decisions. These things to do when planning a wedding may take a little more time, but it’ll be worth it.

Try on more than one wedding dress

You fall in love with a wedding dress you see on Instagram, find it at a local salon, try it on, it looks great—you’re done, right? Well, not necessarily. Sure, four percent of brides purchase the first dress they try on, but you owe it to yourself to test out a few dresses—just for comparison’s sake. We’re not saying you have to try on hundreds of dresses (the average bride tries on about 7 before selecting “the one”), but choosing a wedding dress is a pretty special, once-in-a-lifetime experience—savor it!

Designate an “emergency contact”

One of the most important things to do when planning a wedding is book an amazing vendor team—and stay in touch with them in the months and weeks leading up to your big day. But what happens if you decide to go off-the-radar on vacation or you’re put on a major work project that has you at the office 24/7 or you get sick and are out of commission for a bit? Your vendors should have contact information for an “emergency contact” (yes, just like the forms you fill out at the doctor’s office) in case you’re unavailable for an extended period of time. This can be a family member like a parent or sibling, wedding party member, or close friend. Your emergency contact should have access to all of your vendors’ information and have a general sense of your wedding details so they can handle any situations accordingly.

Photo: Kpix Photography

Familiarize yourself with ALL of your guests

If you’re having a larger wedding, you may not actually know some of the guests from your partner’s side well—for example, your mother-in-law’s childhood best friend or your future spouse’s childhood best friend who now lives overseas. Take the time to go through the guest list with your partner, and try to familiarize yourself with each person—look at photos, tell stories, and more (this exercise is also a great way to learn more about your future spouse!). On your wedding day, you’ll want to see familiar faces when you look around the room and greet people properly—so try your best to get to know everyone on your guest list.

Come up with conversation starters

You’re probably going to have to make a lot of small talk on your wedding day. Whether you’re chatting with guests during cocktail hour or going table-to-table during the reception, you may find yourself having to contend with some awkward silences, particularly if you’re chatting with guests you don’t know well (see above). Plan ahead with a few go-to conversation-starters (nothing about politics or religion, please!), like “how’s the family?” or “how was your trip in?” You’re likely not going to be having deep conversations with guests, but a few small-talk topics will be helpful. This is even more important for brides and grooms who are uncomfortable in social situations.

Practice walking (and dancing!) in your shoes

Of course you want to look amazing on your wedding day—but comfort is essential, too! Take the time to not only practice walking in your wedding shoes, but also dancing! Even if you’re not wearing sky-high heels, make sure your shoes are broken-in well before the big day. And if you find that your footwear is causing pain, opt for a different pair of shoes or, if you’re willing to suffer through, wear your uncomfy shoes for the ceremony and purchase a more foot-friendly pair to don during the reception.

Photo: Laura Segall Photography

Stay connected with friends

We’ve all had that friend who gets engaged and then seemingly disappears from the planet, only to emerge again until after his or her honeymoon. Don’t let your friendships slip away because you’re caught up in the “engagement bubble.” Try not to skip your weekly happy hour, book club, or other friend-event because you’re “too busy” wedding planning. Be mindful that your friends and co-workers probably don’t want to talk about your wedding all the time. Show interest in what they’ve been up to, celebrate their milestones, and generally, just be a good friend.

Plan the cake cutting

While you might not prep for your cake cutting in the same way as you prepare for, say, your first dance, you should still discuss it with your partner in advance so the moment feels romantic and fun rather than confusing and awkward. Answer the following questions: What song should be played? Who is actually going to cut the cake? Are you going to feed each other with forks or go for the smash? While being spontaneous can be fun, having one partner try to smash the cake while the other is sweetly feeding the other isn’t ideal.

Prep for your post-honeymoon life

The last thing any couple wants is to return from their honeymoon to a house or apartment that’s a total disaster. One of the most important things to do when planning a wedding is to take the time to prep your home so you can easily settle back in post-honeymoon. Make some dishes to keep in the freezer. Clean your home before you head off to your wedding—or hire a cleaning service to make sure your place is spic and span upon your return. Pause your mail and newspaper delivery service. Have a family member or friend check on your place while you’re away. And make sure your pets are taken care of. Planning ahead will help you avoid stress later on.