Expert September 2015

Last Name

Tammy, on February 10, 2015 at 11:53 PM

Posted in Etiquette and Advice 71

I'm wondering if anyone is choosing or did choose to keep their last name or hyphenated your last name? If you did this was there a specific reason? (And if it's not too personal can you state why you choose to keep your last name or hyphenate?)

I'm wondering if anyone is choosing or did choose to keep their last name or hyphenated your last name?

If you did this was there a specific reason?

(And if it's not too personal can you state why you choose to keep your last name or hyphenate?)


  • NotAllWhoWanderAreLost
    Master August 2015
    NotAllWhoWanderAreLost ·
    • Flag

    I am on the fence. I am probably going to take his name. But I flip flop between all three options multiple times a week. I am just soo undecided. And FH says he doesn't have an opinion. In his family it is unusual for the girls to change their last name. But my family is extremely traditional. But I am somewhere in between, so I really just don't know what to do.

    • Reply
  • Di
    VIP July 2015
    Di ·
    • Flag

    I'm keeping my last name, but as a middle name since I do not have a middle name. I woman I work with did this years ago when she got married and I always like that idea of it.

    • Reply
  • Tara
    VIP April 2015
    Tara ·
    • Flag

    @Elle, that's the best reason I ever heard for a name change!

    I'm keeping my last name. It's very region-specific and ties me to my home even though I'm 1500 miles away. I don't like his last name. All of my degrees and published papers have my last name.

    My fiance is traditional too. It took him a while to get used to it, but now it doesn't bother him that much.

    • Reply
  • Reese
    Master July 2015
    Reese ·
    • Flag

    Tammy, I'm planning on taking FH's name but keeping mine as a second middle name type thing.

    But I'm seriously considering keeping mine professionally. I'm a designer and kind of have my own brand. I have a logo and a website. Surprisingly, the bigger problem I'm having is with the domain. His last name is more common than mine, so just firsnamelastname.com is taken. I would like my website domain and my email address to match and that is proving impossible.

    • Reply
  • Lawmom
    VIP June 2015
    Lawmom ·
    • Flag

    Taking his last name. Making my madien name my middle name. Dropping my middle nane.

    • Reply
  • M
    Super August 2015
    M ·
    • Flag

    Im taking my FH's last name happily because my name now is so common.

    • Reply
  • FutureMrsD
    Super October 2015
    FutureMrsD ·
    • Flag

    I am changing mine to FH's. My mom kept her maiden name, and it was annoying to me as a kid. People assumed my parents were divorced and I hated that we didn't all have the same last name.

    • Reply
  • S
    Master June 2015
    Sara ·
    • Flag

    I'm adding his last name to mine. So I'll go by Sara Married, but legally my name will still be Sara Middle Maiden Married. My initials will be SLAM which is kinda awesome.

    • Reply
  • Janeen
    Master January 2015
    Janeen ·
    • Flag


    Out of curiosity why did it bother you to not have the same last name? My parents actually were divorced and yeah, back in the 80's and 90's this was a bit confusing but it only takes a sentence to explain lol.

    • Reply
  • Cyndi Lou
    Super October 2018
    Cyndi Lou ·
    • Flag

    I think I'll probably end up doing what Sara said. Talked to FH last night about it and he pointed out a few things:

    1. FH family already calls us by his last name A+C V, they can't pronounce my name (it's German but not that hard IMO, it's about 50/50 it will be butchered by someone) so it makes it easier for them.

    2. Like I said his name is easier to pronounce

    3. if I can ever get a cursive V I like it will be much easier to sign then my maiden name

    But I'm still struggling with letting go of my maiden name. Lol. It's funny how attached I am.

    • Reply
  • alyshadanielle
    Master April 2015
    alyshadanielle ·
    • Flag

    Taking FH's last name. I have a brother & 2 nephews so I don't have to worry about our unique last name losing it's existence. Keeping my middle name because it's after my dad and dropping my last name, no one knows how to say it or spell it anyways.

    • Reply
  • Ashley
    Super July 2015
    Ashley ·
    • Flag

    I want to hyphenate my name soo bad but my FH is not trying to hear it smh. I have my mom's maiden name that comes from my grandfather. He is my everything so I want to hold on to it. At the same time I undstd it's a new start blah blah blah lol

    • Reply
  • Coleen
    Expert April 2015
    Coleen ·
    • Flag

    I will be taking FH's and I can't wait. I grew up with a hyphenated name and it is just too much of a pain for countless reasons. I have a younger brother so he can carry on the name. Smiley smile

    • Reply
  • Emily
    Master May 2014
    Emily ·
    • Flag

    Keeping my last name. I see no good reason to change the identity I've had for 30 years.

    • Reply
  • L&G
    VIP August 2015
    L&G ·
    • Flag

    I always thought I wouldn't change it, its only in the last couple of years that I decided I wanted the same name as my kids. I would hypenate except our names are terrible together and I would never curse my children with that last name haha.

    • Reply
  • Julia
    Dedicated April 2015
    Julia ·
    • Flag

    I am hyphenating. I have a son that has my current last name ... FH is not his bio dad but might as well be. My maiden name is listed on everything of my sons for the last 9 years, including all school and doctor records. Sometimes those places get their panties in a bunch when things don't line up just so, so I am going to hyphenate for now. In the somewhat near future my son will be adopted by FH and we will all have the same last name. Also, I really (REALLY!) love my maiden name

    • Reply
  • WWJamie
    Devoted October 2014
    WWJamie ·
    • Flag

    My last name's way cooler than his Smiley winking, so I tried to convince him to take mine... that didn't happen. He's fine with me keeping my maiden name, but I'm going to change it when we have kids I think. When I do, I'm dropping my current middle name and making my maiden name my middle name.

    • Reply
  • Tammy
    Expert September 2015
    Tammy ·
    • Flag

    Changing my middle name is not an option. My middle name is my grandmothers, who was an amazing women, an IMHO would just be disrespectful to her memory. Not to mention it would probably greatly hurt my father's feelings if I did that.

    FH changing his last name to mine is out, as he owns his own company and his company name has his last name in it. So that could get weird and difficult business wise.

    Children are and never will be a factor in our future, so I don't have to worry about the weirdness or difficulties this could present down the road by having parents with 2 different last names.

    I guess I feel the same way as Emily. I've had my last name for 38 years and don't feel the need to change it just because I'm getting married. But yet, at the same time, I know this is something that is very important to FH.

    I'm having a lot of internal struggle with this.

    I thank you all for your comments and your reasons for why you did or did not change your last name.

    • Reply
  • Cassandra
    Beginner October 2015
    Cassandra ·
    • Flag

    I'm changing my last name because then we will have the same Initials. CLW makes monogramming things so much easier!!

    • Reply
  • Taryn
    Super May 2015
    Taryn ·
    • Flag

    I am taking his last name..I want my family (when we have kids) to all have the same last name..I didn't realize so many people liked to keep their name.

    My last name is boring and common, so I don't mind.

    • Reply

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