Wedding date crisis
So FH was married before. Just recently I found out that he was married to ex the day before ours will be (September 26). I'm a little neurotic and chose the 27th for our day because of great timing and it's the weather will be near perfect here in Texas. I really don't want our anniversary to be anywhere near his previous marriage date. Am I just over thinking this or can I justify it just a little bit?

Married: 09/27/2014
Posted On: Mar 10, 2013 at 12:48 AM • Vendors are allowed • Add to My WatchlistFlag As Inappropriate0 likes

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Megan
Married: 06/15/2013
Mar 10, 2013 at 1:07 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
I would say unless its weird for you and your FH for it to be so close but honestly if it were me I wouldn't mind. My FH was married before too, I honestly dont know what day it is he and his ex got married... I'm not really concerned with it... its in the past where it belongs and we're moving forward together forever. But thats me, some people I know would feel differently but I wouldnt

Private User
Married: Recently Married
Mar 10, 2013 at 5:47 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
Some would think it is a bad omen but honestly, it will be yours and fh's day. You aren't doing it on the exact date, his ex had her day, this is y'alls now.

Married: 10/12/2013
Reviews: 7
Mar 10, 2013 at 7:53 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
My fiance and I have never been married before but I don't think it should be that big of a concern. Like Megan M. said, "it's in the past where it belongs". Move forward together and don't look back. If he didn't think enough to say anything about the date when you were planning, I doubt if he even thought anything of it, so neither should you. ;)

sarah r
Married: 06/01/2013
Reviews: 8
Mar 10, 2013 at 7:57 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
I could see your concern if it was the same exact day, but it's the day after. I don't think you should worry, because like everyone else said its going to be all a out you now!

Married: 07/05/2014
Mar 10, 2013 at 8:05 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
Look at it this way: if he forgets your anniversary, he's really screwed.

On a more serious note, I wouldn't worry about it. Look at how many anniversaries one has over the years, significant dates. If your wedding fell around the time of an anniversary between you and one of your ex-boyfriends, would it be an issue to you, or him?

Maggie N
Married: 08/24/2013
Reviews: 5
Mar 10, 2013 at 8:52 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
I would feel the same way, I wouldn't like it. BUT it is probably too late to change dates, so could you try to think of it like your new wedding memories will be replacing any he has of the first one?

Married: 1+ year ago
Reviews: 12
Mar 10, 2013 at 9:01 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
If it isn't a big deal to him (which if you found out after the fact, it probably isn't) then the only question is how much it disturbs you. Mine didn't want it anywhere near the date of his first marriage because he didn't want me to feel like he was just replacing her.

Married: 12/11/2013
Reviews: 6
Mar 10, 2013 at 9:24 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
FH ex was married some time in late May, but I don't care if our date is in the same month, its our date and he is marrying me. It would not bother me.

Brandi
Married: 11/09/2013
Mar 10, 2013 at 10:02 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
I understand your feelings, I tried to stay away from Nov because of he had been married in Nov before but things didn't work out that way. It bothered me at first but now I don't care.
Edited On: Mar 10, 2013 at 10:03 AM

Jennifer
Married: 03/30/2014
Mar 10, 2013 at 10:22 AM • 
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Married: 05/11/2013
Reviews: 10
Mar 10, 2013 at 10:54 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
If he is divorced and that marriage is behind him, then I don't think his previous anniversary should be worried about. You don't want to choose a different date because of that (or rather, I wouldn't), because then that previous relationship is dictating your wedding decisions.. you may also end up choosing certain colors and traditions to avoid being too much like his first marriage. That's not fair to you! Enjoy it and do what you want, regardless of what his first wedding was like! :)

Charlotte
Married: 07/13/2013
Reviews: 7
Mar 10, 2013 at 11:10 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
It's just a date, and you were the one who chose the date, right? Don't worry about it, its the past, don't dwell in it, you should concentrate all that energy for y'all's future together, wish you luck... But yeah the date you chose will be a perfect weather here in Texas, I'm from Fort Worth and we are getting married in July...

Jen
Married: 03/16/2014
Mar 10, 2013 at 1:39 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I was previously married in February, and FH was previously married in July. We didn't want our wedding date in those months. Just personal feelings there. We originally chose November, but FH's work schedule wouldn't allow us to take a HM right after. So then we chose March, and we're ok with it. But now that the wedding date has been postponed, we may wait until 2015 now just so we can do it in March again.

My dad married his 2nd wife on the 3rd anniversary of my Mom's death. I found it tasteless, mainly because after only 3 years, he forgot the significance of the date, and invited my mom's family to the wedding.

My personal opinion is that I would avoid any date with any significance to a former life. But if you can make it work, I would. Changing a date, especially after deposits are already paid, can be costly.

It comes down to what you're comfortable doing. And remember, he's marrying YOU, not his ex again.
Edited On: Mar 10, 2013 at 1:41 PM

MJ
Married: 06/01/2013
Mar 10, 2013 at 5:42 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Why not. I would get married all but the same day of his prev marriage. Move forward in life not back.

Married: 10/12/2013
Reviews: 1
Mar 10, 2013 at 5:45 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
If it isn't a big deal to your FH then I say do it. And if you don't think it will brother you then do it.

the day before is just a date now in Sept. but the 27th of Sept. will be YOUR date!
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