Answers

They wont feel offended, just explain to them that the MOH who you had chosen was a bad choice because she was unable to fufill her duties and wasnt seeing eye to eye with you like you said above. and that you should have just chosen them (whoever your asking) in the first place. THey should definatley understand. I am having problems with my MOH as well but only a couple months til my wedding so im just choosing to do everything myself, with help from my mom and mother in law. Hopefully everything works out with you.

I dont think they will be offended either... but I know what you mean. I would just ask... maybe think of a cute or creative idea or way to ask to make them feel a little extra special. I think overall it will be ok and they will be honored to be part of your day regardless... :)

I had the same problem. I just explained the situation to another person I wanted to be my MOH. She understood and wasn't offended at all. She's been very helpful and understanding about everything. I should have asked her in the first place.

is there someone else who stands out or has been really helpful? i'd be a little cautious in saying anything that may "throw her under the bus" especially since you have mutual friends.