We know wedding planning can make you feel a bit, well, anxious and not yourself. This means you may not always be thinking in the right set of mind. While tears, tempers, and other emotions may increase during this exciting, but sometimes stressful time, you should try your best and not let the pressure of planning make you say something you’ll regret. We know it can be hard keeping your cool when you’re dealing with budgets, in-laws, and other details that come with planning a wedding, so we’re here to help keep you in line throughout the process. Here are six things that you shouldn’t say to your fiancé(e) while planning the big day.
Try your best to avoid saying these major no-nos during wedding planning.
“I don’t care.”
While you may think you’re doing your fiancé(e) a favor by saying you don’t have a preference on certain wedding-related decisions (like the centerpieces or the favors), this “whatever” attitude actually puts more of a burden on your partner. Saying “I don’t care” makes you sound like you’re not interested in the decision, which can leave your fiancé(e) feeling stressed and not supported. Even if you really don’t have a preference, try and give as much input as possible. This will make you feel like a team when it comes to crossing things off of your to-do list.
“Your parents are SO annoying.”
We get it, overbearing in-laws can really drive you up a wall when you’re trying to get everything finalized for your big day. However, you have to remember that they’re part of your family now. This means if you’re constantly complaining and telling your future spouse you can’t stand their mom or dad, this can come across mean and disrespectful. As much as your in-laws are calling you or pestering you about little things, keep in mind that they’re just trying to help and are super-excited about the big day.
“Oops...I maxed out our credit card.”
Saying you’ve maxed the credit card or went over-budget while wedding planning will definitely cause tension. Yes, we know a lavish flower wall is a gorgeous addition to any wedding, but if it is out of your budget don’t splurge to make it work. Acting careless and purchasing things you both know you can’t afford will lead to fights, stress and probably having to say no to other wedding details you actually wanted. Remember to sit down and talk about what you both are willing to spend before you go ahead and say you went over budget.
“Your sibling is def not going to be in the wedding party.”
Similar to saying you can’t stand your future in-laws, not getting along with your fiancé(e)’s sibling(s) can easily cause Kardashian-like drama. So you want to make sure they’re involved in the wedding, and that you stay on good terms. Since you’re basically gaining another sib, having them play a role in your wedding is nice way to say you’re excited to be part of the the family. However, if you aren’t getting along with a sibling-in-law try your best to keep the peace and build a relationship with him or her. We suggest taking your future sib-in-law out for dinner or a drink so you can get some quality time with each other. If he or she is still causing problems, bring up your concerns to your fiancé(e) in politely—not by automatically banning them from the wedding party.
Pro tip: If you’re having a smaller wedding party you can still include your partner’s brother or sister in the ceremony by making them readers or ushers during the service.
“You’re being crazy.”
This may be a no brainer, but you never want to call your fiancé(e) crazy or a “bridezilla” or “groomzilla” during wedding planning. Even if they may seem to be overreacting to certain situations, saying they’ve lost their minds will only lead to a fight or one of you having to sleeping on the couch for the night. Instead of name-calling, address the issue that’s driving them to act differently. Or better yet, plan a night where you don’t talk about wedding planning at all. Setting up some time where the two of you can kick it together without talking about wedding tasks will help your partner cool down and feel like themselves again.
“It’s MY wedding.”
No, it’s OUR wedding. Marriage is a bond between two people, not just an excuse to have a big party. Yes, a bride usually wears white and sure a lot the attention may be focused on her, but this doesn’t mean the day revolves around one person. Saying “well it is MY wedding” could turn your fiancé(e) off from wedding planning all together. Instead, keep in mind that the day is about the both of you and make sure the wedding details, like decor elements, menu selections and more reflect both of your personalities.