Things are serious between you and your S.O. and you both know marriage is in the cards at some point in the near future. Until that down-on-one-knee day comes, prepare to be bombarded with an endless stream of (typically well-meaning, always semi - to super-annoying) questions and comments. While these comments are usually courtesy of close friends and perfect strangers alike, they're still pretty obnoxious to hear. So if your friend or relative falls into that "almost engaged" category, consider this your do-not-say-list!
Here's what every almost-engaged person kind of hates to hear.
"Clock's a-tickin'!" or "You're not getting any younger!"
PSA: If you are in a serious relationship but not engaged, a random elderly relative will say this to you. Probably in the middle of Thanksgiving dinner, in front of everyone (including your partner), followed by an awkward silence. Thank you, Great Aunt Mildred, that is excellent advice. Very wise. I truly don't know how we'd survive without your input.
"What is he waiting for?!"
Eek—talk about a personal question. Maybe he's saving up for an awesome ring, holding tight until things settle down at work, or giving you time until you feel ready to take the next step. There are endless factors that influence the "right time" to pop the question, none of which are anyone else's business.
"But I feel like you guys have been together forever."
Yes, and we're still going strong! Cheers to us. I'll take that as a congratulations.
"Oh you two are going on vacation next week? He's DEFINITELY going to propose!"
That actually hadn't crossed my mind, but now I'm going to spend the entire trip obsessing over it, so...thanks for that.
"How do you think he'll do it?"
Sure, let's brainstorm every possible dream scenario so I can set my expectations really high and remove any element of surprise. OK, fine, this one can be a little bit fun to daydream about. But it still gets old when you hear it all the time.
[Answering the phone] "OMG let me guess! YOU'RE ENGAGED!"
Uhhh, nope, sorry to disappoint. No news, just calling to say hi! Whatever happened to “hello?"—is that not how people answer phones anymore?
"Have you thought about your wedding date yet?"
No matter how you answer this one, you lose. If you say "no," everyone's all, "OH, well you should really think about that ahead of time, venues book up quickly." If you say "yes," it’s, "OH wow, you better keep that to yourself, crazy!"
"What kind of ring do you think he'll choose?"
Well, I've been strategically planting magazine clippings of the latest engagement ring trends all over the house for months now, so it better be that.
"Have you guys even talked about it?"
This is starting to feel like an interrogation. Just respond to this one with a coy smile and remain silent—it will drive them nuts.
"I had a dream you got engaged last night!"
I literally do not know how to respond to this. KEEP DREAMIN'!