M
Beginner December 2017

Wedding no shows

Monica, on Dec 7, 2017 at 12:11 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice

I had a total of 8 no shows. No one followed up before or after the wedding. I don't think some people realize what goes into planning a wedding and the expenses that are involvee. I am just honestly feeling very hurt. How did you guys handle this after your weddings? Did you confront the people?

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59 Comments

  • OG Kathryn
    Master May 2016
    OG Kathryn Online ·

    I sent them a bill.

  • Keisha
    Master September 2018
    Keisha ·

    Let it go. Maybe reevaluate your relationship with these people

  • TheeOne2Love
    VIP December 2017
    TheeOne2Love ·

    Welp if you are petty Betty like me..... If ppl rsvp and dont show up with no explanation, or even an apology I wont be speaking to them any further. I dont need those type of inconsiderate folks around me

  • M
    Beginner December 2017
    Monica ·

    Are you serious OG Kathryn?

  • M
    Beginner December 2017
    Monica ·

    I honestly was very upset the evening after the wedding. I know that it will not be helpful to confront them.

  • OG Kathryn
    Master May 2016
    OG Kathryn Online ·

    LOL no. There isnt much you can do at this point.

  • M
    Beginner December 2017
    Monica ·

    It was a lot of money lost, $400.

  • MrsBdeG
    VIP August 2017
    MrsBdeG ·

    I had 15 last minute no shows. I will be seeing some for the holidays and I am so worried that after a glass or two of wine. I'm going to give them a piece of my mind.

    One was my cousin who said there was a car show that he was going to that happens every year! He waited until three days before.

    Two people were my aunt and uncle who literally texted me at 4PM on the wedding day saying they were sleepy and were going to take a nap.

    One was my godmother who decided to take a last minute vacation on the west coast the week before. Two days before the wedding she tried to book her return flight and texted me her flights kept getting delayed and she'd still be there. Nope she then got mad at me because I didn't send her a welcome home text the day after when she finally made it home.

  • MrsMcK
    VIP September 2017
    MrsMcK ·

    We had two no-shows, but there were explanations. My cousin's husband was sick(I saw my cousin the night before and she let me know, no big deal, people get sick). The other person was a family friend, the next time I saw him he told me that his aunt had a stroke and he was at the hospital with her and apologized(which is understandable, no hard feelings there either). But I can understand being annoyed if people no-showed and you didn't get any kind of explanation. Nothing you can do, though.

  • Celia Milton
    Celia Milton ·

    There is nothing you do after the fact. The only you can do pre-emptively is to limit the guest list to people who don't view your wedding as 'the other thing we have to do on Saturday". While it's very true that no one thinks your wedding is as important as you do, the smaller the list? The more likely it is that they are close to you and won't miss it unless there is some wild emergency.

  • OG Kathryn
    Master May 2016
    OG Kathryn Online ·

    So you had $50 per head, think how bad it sucks for those who have $150 per head.

    What are you thinking of doing? There is no way to change anything.

  • Talia Willner
    Talia Willner ·

    Nothing to do now. I think this kind of flaking out happens frequently...I can't figure out why people think it's acceptable behavior. I had a couple a few months back who had 30 no-shows....at a wedding where they had a guest list of 50, supposedly their nearest and dearest. It was devastating for the bride and groom - some had excuses, others just didn't show. Tears were shed, tables were rearranged so the space didn't look so empty.

  • G
    Master July 2017
    Going to the chapel ·

    We had a couple of no shows. I honestly didn't give a shit. I still had a great time.

  • M
    Beginner December 2017
    Monica ·

    I am not doing anything insane like sending them an invoice but I am strongly considering cutting it off with some of them. It amazes me that guests flew in from long distances and my 8 no shows were like within an hour away driving distance. The other infuriatinf part is that there was no follow up phone call, text, or voicemail. Nada explanation.

  • Rosered
    Devoted January 2019
    Rosered ·

    It really depends on your relationship with them. If a close friend no-showed, I would definetly ask them what happened (mainly because something bad would obviously have happened for them to miss the wedding and I would be concerned). If a former coworker no-showed, I wouldn't do anything. If a current coworker no-showed, I would probably ask about it the next time I saw them because ignoring it would be more awkward than saying "Hey, I missed you at the wedding."

  • M
    Beginner December 2017
    Monica ·

    My cousin in Las Vegas flew in to Florida for my wedding with a broken foot at crutches. Now that is dedication.

  • OG Kathryn
    Master May 2016
    OG Kathryn Online ·

    I think thats reasonable. I mean they at least owed you a phone call before/after. The wedding clearly wasnt that important to them. (granted something serious didnt come up or illness)

  • OG Kathryn
    Master May 2016
    OG Kathryn Online ·

    Then be thankful for those awesome people that did things like that to make your day special, dont dwell on 8 no shows.

  • M
    Beginner December 2017
    Monica ·

    Did anyone end relationships with their no show guests?

  • FutureMrsHill
    Expert April 2018
    FutureMrsHill ·

    Take a few more days to be upset about it, then move on. I know it sucks, but what can you do? Also comparing what others did? Is it making you feel better ?

    ETA: If you want to cut them off, then do it.

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