RSVP declines make me feel unloved...

I think for me it will depend on who it is. I'm not as close to some people as I am to others so I would look at it like I'm saving money. I would ask why they weren't attending though if I was hurt.

This happened at my sister's wedding last June (2014). I think her numbers were about the same as yours. And a lot of the guests that did come, didn't even bring a card/gift (I know you don't HAVE to, but come on, who brings nothing??).

I was more upset about it than she was - which is the moral of this story: She didn't let it bother her and made the most of her day.

Her FH's side was kind of unresponsive, and their friends were just young and didn't know any better or needed to work. Lots of the family on our side already had summer vacations planned.

But the people that mattered where there. Same as they will be for you.

I started to feel bad when people declined but then I thought if they don't want to come then hey I don't want them there!!!

That is still a lot of people. Are some of the declines giving reasonable reasons as to why they cannot attend? Did you send out STDs prior to the invitations?

@Sarah: That's what I keep telling myself.

@Sue: We sent out the STD's 6 1/2 months in advance. A handful of people gave reasonable explanations while the rest just declined with no explanation.

I can't help but wonder if it is because we are interracial and people just can't get past it. We do live in the South...

We invited 163 and about 125 coming. I know my day is hard because it's Friday and no kids. The only person I'm upset about is my grandma said no. She's my only living grandparent. That was hard for me.

I think the biggest hurt came for FH and not I. I only got 2 declines from my side, one which I knew would not attend anyways and one because of chemo treatments, so I knew they might not attend depending on where they were with that. FH had about half of his list decline. Some he was not surprised about, but I know some hurt his feelings.

The important people will be there, the rest of them (especially if it's because you're an interracial couple), fuck 'em.

Hi date twin! We had a lot more declines than I thought we would. We actually are getting married on Columbus Day Weekend, I know for some people that was a conflict. We invited 138 and we have just under 90 people attending, but the way I look at it is more money in my pocket! I'm sure it has nothing to do with it being an interracial wedding and if it does... I agree with Lara!

We invited 255 and right now are at 195. We are missing about 15 people. My assumption is we will be at about 210 at the most and I couldn't be more excited. There will be so much more room. And we will probably save a few thousand. No complaints from me.

Some people did make me a little sad that they declined. But the people that want to be there will be. I'm ok with it! You will have fun and at the end of the day you will be married. YAY

Sorry you feel this way, but I felt the exact opposite. I know I'm horrible but I did got excited every time we got a Decline. Lol We invited 195, 165 RSVP yes and 158 was our total.

I know that it works out best for our budget so I'm trying to focus on that.

I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. My brother was a groomsman in his friend's wedding in Alabama last year. They were an interracial couple as well and the groom's family "protested" by not attending the wedding. It was very obvious that the venue was scanty. People suck sometimes.

I haven't sent invitations out yet, but based on people responding to our STDs I have sort of been through this. Most of the people who have said no so far I completely expected to say no. In fact I had pretty low expectations so have been surprised some people who have already confirmed (aka they booked their hotel room). Now as I get ready to send invites soon I am praying for some unexpected nos because my 'yes' pile is looking a lot higher than I had originally thought it would.

I think anticipating the nos helps. Although I have to admit, I have an aunt and uncle already say no who I really wanted there. They are older and worried about driving in the winter so I expected it, but my uncle was essentially my father's best friend and since my father passed away I was hoping to have my uncle at the wedding. It is what it is though. I want everyone who attends to be there because they genuinely want to be without any stress or worries about making it. I think that will result in a better time had by all.

I started feeling this way a little while ago, but they way I look at it is this:

Its not that they don't care about the wedding, or us, but life gets in the way. For people traveling, budgets are hard...airfare, hotels, cars, gifts, etc. Also, its hard for people to take time off work sometimes.

We wanted a small wedding anyway, and ended up inviting over 100 people. Our numbers right now are close to 50, which is closer to what we wanted initially, without us having to "choose" who we invited. (if that makes sense)

@Holly: OMG! That's awful. I hate to think that people would actually do that. I hope that's not the case for us. There are a few of FH's family members that aren't coming but I hope that I'm not the reason.

@Yasminadlv: I totally get that traveling can be hard and I am completely understanding of that. However, for us, there are a lot of local people that aren't attending.

Yeah. My brother said the groom/his friend told him that they put on a happy face at the wedding and enjoyed themselves but later that night, the bride cried because of it.

@Holly: I don't think I would shed any tears over it because if people don't care about us, I'd rather find out sooner than later after investing anymore time and effort into relationships.

Sounds like you gave them decent notice to not book anything on the date. That seems pretty silly that people aren't attending without reason. And I truly am hoping the reason isn't what you are anticipating.