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Brit
Devoted May 2019

Tipping

Brit, on April 12, 2019 at 3:03 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 16
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I know that we are supposed to tip our vendors. However, I have a question about a few things. Do I tip my HMU the same amount for all services (she did my engagements, will be doing my bridals, and me and my two girls day of), if so, it would be $60 extra every time I see her. And since my venue is providing the food/drinks do we have to tip them? The only people I was actually planning to tip is my HMU and photog, as we set our budget before we knew about having to tip EVERYONE so it just isn't in our budget to do so, seeing as if we were to tip all of them, it would be between $500-700. Please be kind in your responses as I am already aware that not tipping is not a popular decision, we just can't afford anything more.

16 Comments

  • Danielle
    Master June 2019
    Danielle ·
    • Flag

    I'm going to be honest...I'm still on the fence on whether or not I am going to tip all of my vendors. I'll tip my hair & make up artists, but other than that...I don't know. I feel like I'm already paying everyone so much money...it's getting out of hand when you start adding tips to every single person/vendor.

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  • MrsD
    Legend July 2019
    MrsD ·
    • Flag

    I didn't tip for my trial. Just the day of will I tip HAMU. I'm not sure we are tipping the actual caterer, but we probably will the servers.

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  • Jessica
    VIP June 2020
    Jessica ·
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    I'm glad I'm not the only one thinking this! I feel bad (kind of) but I'm already paying a crazy amount of money for everything and its crazy. I've heard you don't have to tip if they own their own business of if a service fee is included, which would mean I only have to tip my MHUA anyways.

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  • S
    Expert October 2019
    Sara ·
    • Flag
    True, it’s so confusing! I read somewhere if the vendor (ex: photographer) owns the business you don’t have to tip them, but if they don’t own it then you should tip them (but still don’t have to). Ugh. I’m definitely tipping my hair/makeup artist each time I go though, I just feel like even for a trial you still should. (And id rather keep them happy leading up to the wedding lol).
    • Reply
  • Brit
    Devoted May 2019
    Brit ·
    • Flag

    I'm still wondering if i have to tip my venue since they are providing the food/bar services.

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  • Danielle
    Master June 2019
    Danielle ·
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    View Quoted Comment

    And actually by that logic, I shouldn't have to tip my HMUAs, they own their own business too...but I still probably will, since they are coming to my house. Other than that, I'll ask our caterer (FH's aunt) if her price includes tips for the servers she's providing, if not..we might tip them. But it's a buffet, so I'm really not sure how many there will actually be.

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  • Danielle
    Master June 2019
    Danielle ·
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    View Quoted Comment

    If I were you, I might hand the bartenders/servers a tip at the end of the night, versus tipping the venue itself.

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  • Alycia
    Super July 2021
    Alycia ·
    • Flag
    Photog, dj, and other independent business owners I wouldn’t tip. They charge what they want to be paid for their services (often a lot of money) and don’t have to pay a percentage of that fee to anyone else. If they have a second, they include that cost in the fee they charge you.

    Servers at the venue are paid either hourly or flat rate by the business owner/ venue company. I would tip them if they are friendly, professional, and showing real concern for providing you and your guests with great service. If the venue is already including a server and bartender gratuity on the bill, you can decide if you feel they deserve extra but it is not expected.

    H/M depends upon whether they are independent or employees, and upon how they perform at their job. If they are independent, again they are already charging you what they want to be paid for the job. If they are not doing the job in a salon, they keep all of the money for themselves. If they have an assistant, they include that cost in their fee as well. Employees don’t get to set their cost and only receive a percentage of what you pay for their services. If they did a great job, adding a tip to that is a nice way to show your appreciation.
    • Reply
  • Dachelle
    Dedicated June 2021
    Dachelle ·
    • Flag

    Alycia is absolutely correct! If the person owns the business, they are charging you what their services are worth, you do not need to tip. However, you should tip employees. Ranges are considered appropriate at 18-25% but please don't stress about the cost, you already have so much to worry about. If you feel so inclined, you could add "I'm sorry that I can't contribute more, you were absolutely outstanding and I'll make sure to recommend you every chance I get" when you give them their envelope.

    I'm stressing on the tips too, we set our budget at 10K and the costs are adding up quickly.

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  • Jello
    Beginner October 2019
    Jello ·
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    Why would you not look at every service the same as servers? We all get paid a set amount and some will go above and beyond for their clients where others don't. There is nothing better than at the end of the night getting a tip and feeling like the client really loved having you at their wedding and that you did an amazing job .... as a photographer I would be more excited about editing and delivering to a client I felt truly loved having me there and was thankful for all that I did for them.

    With that said, a lot of people do not tip their vendors. Don't make yourself go broke but if you can it is wonderful and does mean a lot to your vendors that have worked so hard to make your day amazing ...
    • Reply
  • Alycia
    Super July 2021
    Alycia ·
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    View Quoted Comment
    I am a photographer. I never expect clients to tip me. I own my business and charge what I want to be paid. When I give a client a quote, I don’t expect any other money to come my way. It’s not a slight when clients don’t pay me more. I’m happy getting their good referrals.
    • Reply
  • Jello
    Beginner October 2019
    Jello ·
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    Not saying any vendor expects it. That it is just nice to do ... hints my last comment ... But why not tip your photographer if they helped make your day extra special? They are one vendor that, if you have a good one, will go above what they are paid to do to make the day amazing and the images perfect.

    My reply is looking at it from both sides and mostly to a comment on why it is any different for servers who would be getting a flat rate. Everyone there is doing a job and getting paid a set amount why is one different.

    Bottom line is, if your happy with a service tip if you do not want to or cant, no big deal.
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  • Expert August 2020
    ·
    • Flag

    I have nothing to add but I am grateful for the comments on this post. I had similar questions. Thanks for the answers.

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  • Hannah
    Dedicated August 2019
    Hannah ·
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    View Quoted Comment
    I 100 percent agree with you on this!!
    • Reply
  • Alycia
    Super July 2021
    Alycia ·
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    View Quoted Comment

    Because servers are not setting their own price, nor are they getting paid thousands for their services. If you want to tip your photographer, by all means, do so. It's your money. Share it however you'd like. My post was simply saying that it's not required, expected, or usual to do so.

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  • heather
    Dedicated May 2019
    heather ·
    • Flag

    My HMU includes the trial in the total cost so I did not tip her at the trial but will at the wedding. Though I would say there's no rule that says you can't tip her different amounts each time! We will also tip the DJ, bartenders, and photographer. The caterer includes gratuity in their charge (and its already a lot so we most likely will not tip any additional on top of that) and we're doing a total DIY at our venue so nothing to tip them for. I would check the contract with your venue and see if they already tacked on a gratuity charge since they are serving the food. That could be your guide for if you feel you should tip them any extra.

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