New friends

You'll probably need to wait until you send invites and see if you have any declines.

Unfortunately, waiting until you have declines is B-listing, and is considered a faux pas etiquette-wise. That just makes people feel like second choice, because they are.

I disagree with Jacks. I think a B-list is something that most people don't like the idea of but more than not, people have one whether it's vocalized/public or not.

I think that this is a different scenario too because you weren't close or friendly with them when you originally sent out the save the dates, so it's not like you're changing your mind and just wanting to invite them now. Things change, relationships, friendships, etc. and it's okay to want to invite them! It stinks that you will have to wait and see if you have any declines but from an etiquette standpoint, you could just be honest and say that you booked your venue with an exact number already and if anything changes, you're happy to extend the invitation.

First I’d check with the venue to see if there’s any flexibility with the seating or options for a slightly larger space. You may also hear that some can’t make it after STDs are sent. Sending an invitation on time when other guests got a STD isn’t B listing. It does come with the small risk they will change their minds. An STD does not obligate anyone to reply and an unofficial reply is not binding.

View Quoted Comment Agree with this. Even post-Covid where people believe that courtesy and etiquette are no longer applicable in society, B-Listing is still considered a faux pas. People know when they are last minute seat fillers and generally prefer to not be invited if they don’t make the original list. No one will ever tell you that they are offended or upset because that is also a faux pas. If someone does decline, you leave those seats empty. Be prepared for 100% attendance because it happens more often than people realize.


Just host them in your home at a non wedding related event after the wedding.

This is why it's better to choose a venue bigger than your expected guest list. When are you sending out invitations? You can still invite them even if you didn't send them a save-the-date. It may put you over capacity, but I think you can bet on at least 2 declines or no-shows. (I've never heard of a wedding with actual 100% attendance.) Alternatively you can just shrug and decide this friendship is too "new." At my wedding I only invited friends I'd known for 10+ years, so a few didn't make the cutoff because I wasn't as close with them then as I am now.

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I chose this route. We had decided that if the reception space could accommodate two more people that it was meant to be. It ended up working out so we got everything taken care of! Thank you for the suggestion!

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I'm glad to hear it! Good luck with your planning.