Pathological People Pleaser

If you are getting a lot of pushback or unwanted opinions on your wedding planning, I would either A. Stop discussing wedding plans with others.
Or B. Only tell people things that have already been secured and cannot be changed. Such as a vendor that you have already given a deposit to and signed a contract with, or decor that has already been finalized and purchased. That way there is no debate; it’s already done.

Stop sharing information with anyone other than your fiancé, wedding party and your vendors. Remind yourself that this event is for you and your fiancé. Other people come from families and generations where the parents planned everything and the couple had no say except showing up, and if someone wants something done a specific way, they either had the opportunity in the past to choose what they wanted or will have the opportunity in the future at their own wedding. While guest comfort (no gaps, don’t ask guests to pay at the wedding or work, there is enough good food and drink at appropriate temperatures, enough seating for each person, good music not too loud, etc) needs to be considered, this is ultimately your event for you, not someone else. For example: if you wanted to wear a bright red sparkly dress with a significant male in your life walking you down the aisle and then serving fruity pebbles cake and local pizza delivery for dinner with a frozen margarita machine, then the dj plays emo hour, then go for it. None of those things are infringing on your guests’ comfort/experience nor are they anyone’s business for you to mention before the wedding day. When the wedding day rolls around, those things will be memorable in a good way because it’s not the same wedding that everyone else has that they say blends into each other when you include elements that make you happy.



Also therapy can be helpful because people pleasing finds its way to all parts of life

You can eliminate a LOT of wedding stress by just not sharing your wedding decisions with anyone. Weddings seem to have a funny way of bringing out unsolicited opinions, and people usually think their way is best. Vague answers ("We haven't decided yet" or "We're keeping that a surprise") removes the opportunity for people to criticize your choices. If anyone tries to give you unsolicited opinions, you could just say "Thank you, we'll consider it" and then change the topic. This doesn't commit you to incorporating their ideas, and allows you to politely shift the conversation to something else. Another possible response is, "Thank you, but we already decided on [topic]."

Anytime someone had a suggestion, I was very positive about it and said “That’s a fun idea” or some similar noncommittal variation. Then I did it my way. If it came up again, I just said “It’s a great idea, but we decided to go with this.” Don’t insult their ideas but don’t agree, and keep it clear you and your fiancé made a personal decision.

I don't have any friends who would behave that way and if I did, they wouldn't be my friends for long. I do have a few people in my life whose taste opinions and judgment I value, trust and respect, but that's not really the same thing.

All the above. When other posters use the word "we" that means you and your partner as a team. Thus, you two have your secrets, your plans, your wedding vision. Everyone else can be surprised on wedding day.

Also, I'd examine why you people please with a therapist. Often this is a result of a history or trauma where trusted others withheld their love and made you feel emotionally insecure hence your willingness to jump through hoops to get attention. OR you people please to manipulate others. Best wishes with everything.