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Megan
Dedicated September 2022

Less than two months out! But now I'm feeling the pressure! Anyone else?

Megan, on July 29, 2022 at 12:24 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 1 7
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So we're less than two months out and everything has gone so smoothly, but now I feel like I'm really feeling the pressure and I feel like things are getting dramatic and my family and I are just getting into fights about little things. Does anyone else feel that way? How do you keep things chill? I want to remain flexible, but supportive.

Here's the recent fight: my sister's husband is very musically talented and he wanted to play music before and during our ceremony. A little risky because he's not a professional, but I'm excited about it. There is one song that is a duet, so my sister wanted to sing with him which I'm fine with. She's not a singer, but has a nice voice and they've been practicing together.

Now that we're talking about the processional line up with the wedding planner I tried reaching out to her about when she wants to go down the aisle or if she wants to be with her husband the whole time. But now she's not sure she wants to sing with her husband and I said ok well let me know. And she's like no we should all talk about it. And I didn't really feel like talking about it and made the mistake of saying I don't care what ends up happening, I just need to know the details and now she's really upset with me even though it wasn't my idea that she sings in the first place.

I know I'm definitely in the wrong about this whole thing, she's making all this effort to sing and she's a little uncomfortable and I should be more supportive, and saying I don't care is probably a slap in the face. I apologized and told her that I didn't mean that I didn't care, it was more that I was open to whatever she wants to do for the wedding. It's just that the wedding planner is asking for the processional lineup. I just struggle with saying things tactfully sometimes. Does anyone have that issue? What tips do you suggest? I just feel like there are all these decisions that fall on me the bride and I don't always have a good answer or I don't feel like deciding every detail. How do you delegate?

7 Comments

Latest activity by Megan, on August 4, 2022 at 12:11 PM
  • Grace
    Super February 2022
    Grace ·
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    I had some major meltdowns at the 2 month mark! You are not alone in loosing your patience and your mind.



    As for delegating, can you have the wedding planner reach out to your sister and her husband? I know family dynamics make things tricky so that may or may not help things.

    For me, I leaned a lot on my mom and my aunt to help with vendor coordination and planning in the last 2 months. My aunt had just helped with her son's wedding earlier that year and my mom is a project coordinator extraordinaire (I didn't have a wedding planner). My husband also stepped up took over a lot of chores around the house so I had more time for the wedding.

    Also, make sure you take some detox time away from the planning stress. Treat yourself to a long bath or whatever helps you relax and find your happy place. And don't forget to sleep!
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  • Megan
    Dedicated September 2022
    Megan ·
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    Thanks for the tips! I really appreciate it and it's nice to know that other people have had some melt downs at the 2 month mark. I don't normally see myself as a dramatic person, but it's just something about the actual reality of the wedding that's getting to me. I feel like I'm just saying all the wrong things or I'm being difficult and then I get this gut-wrenching feeling of why would someone want to marry me or attend my wedding. It feels very self-deprecating, but that's just how I've been feeling lately. I'm sure my sister feels the pressure as well though and so does my family! I think I'm just going to have to relax like you said and take some deep breaths and remind myself that a lot is going on and it's going to be great and we still have plenty of time to decide on the last minute details.

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  • A
    Super September 2022
    Ashley ·
    • Flag

    We are at the same exact point! Everything was pretty good for a while but now this week everything has been happening. I'm at the point where if anyone asks for something I just say "okay, whatever you want." It's just whatever at this point.

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  • Nicole
    Beginner October 2022
    Nicole ·
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    I'm 66 days out, its crunch time for getting the final details together and its as if everyone has a million questions and as the bride all the questions come to you. Its extremely frustrating. Hopefully your sister understands you didn't mean it in that way. I never expected to have this many questions thrown at me on a day to day basis on top of other responsibilities. I'm getting to the point of "whatever makes you happy" because its just too much. But take care of yourself! Have a pamper day and try to relax.

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  • Megan
    Dedicated September 2022
    Megan ·
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    I’m glad someone else feels the same way! Yeah it’s a lot to address and I also think it’s hard because you feel like you’re in the clear, but then that’s really not the case because other people are realizing the reality of your choices. And then you have to talk about it all over again.
    • Reply
  • Paige
    Rockstar October 2022
    Paige ·
    • Flag

    I think it's important to remember that you're getting married because someone wants to spend the rest of their life with you, and your family and friends are going to be there because they love you and want to support you. Thinking of all the questions as people wanting to make sure your day is special is how I try to look at it. It's a lot, and it's totally normal to be stressed to the point of telling people to just do whatever they want or you don't care. I'm sure if you told your sister you're just stressed and didn't mean anything hurtful she would understand. Hang in there! ❤

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  • Megan
    Dedicated September 2022
    Megan ·
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    Aww thanks! Yeah we made up and we’re in a good place. Just a bad week, but I appreciate your kind words.
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