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My bio father wants to walk me down the aisle, but my stepdad raised me. How do I solve this problem?
My biological father has never really been apart of my life and my stepdad raised me. I want my stepfather to walk me down the aisle, but how can I tell my biological father that he isn't going to walk me down the aisle? Can I avoid hurt feelings? He is invited to the wedding, but he doesn't deserve any credit for raising me. What should I do? My wedding is in ten months! Please help me figure this out! Thanks!

Married: 2+ years ago
Posted On: Sep 9, 2010 at 8:47 PM | Vendors are allowed | Add to My Watchlist | Flag As Inappropriate

8 Answers This question is closed for answers.

Married: 05/29/2011
Sep 09, 2010 at 11:41 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
the way I see it, this is your wedding. someones feeling are going to get hurt so you just need to make the decision. Who are you closer to? If you step dad raised you and you grew up knowing him, then let him do it. Again, this is your wedding and you need to do whatever makes you happy.

2d Bride
Married: 10/06/2009
Reviews: 12
Sep 10, 2010 at 2:10 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
Ultimately, this is your call. No one has the right to walk you down the aisle. You could:
1. Have your stepdad walk you down the aisle, and just explain to bio-dad that stepdad was the one there to raise you.
2. Have both dads walk you down the aisle, one on each side.
3. Have your mother or another relative walk you down the aisle.
4. Walk down the aisle alone.
5. Walk down the aisle with your fiance.
If you are old enough to get married, you are old enough to be polite but firm regarding whatever choice you make.

Married: 05/27/2011
Sep 10, 2010 at 10:08 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
I am actually in the same situation myself. The way I see it, giving the bride away is an honor and a way to say that a man is entrusting the care of his daughter into the care of your husband to be. This said, if your biological father didn't raise you and doesn't really have a realationship with you, how can he give you away?! I say go with your step-dad.

Like I said before, I had to have this "conversation with myself" so I definitely know what you are going through. Your biological dad will probably be upset, but he will get over it. If he really realizes that the day is about you and your husband, he will respect your decision and support you. Explain to him how you feel and that you would still like for him to attend and be apart of your day - just not walking you down the isle. If he acts a fool - don't let it upset you....that's one less mouth you have to pay to feed at the reception. :)

Best Wishes~

Married: 11/27/2010
Sep 10, 2010 at 3:37 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
i am actually debating this same issue im going to let my step grandfather walk me halfway then allow my bio dad walk me the rest.

Married: 11/21/2012
Sep 11, 2010 at 3:13 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I would say it wuold have to be your step-dad.
He raised you and was there for you through thick and thin.
If you dont have much of a relationship with your bio-dad he should understand.
And if he doesn't it should be a strong realization for him that he should be there for you more.

I would just tell him as nicely as possible.

Married: 08/17/2013
Sep 13, 2010 at 12:06 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
my opion is step-dad should walk you down the aisle since he raised you i wouldn't do both dads later down the road it hits a nerve

The Wedding Invitation Specialist

The Invitation Place
Sep 15, 2010 at 4:21 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
This seems to be a very easy solution. My vote is to have the step-dad walk you down the aisle - hands down. No need to include both & if you do decide to do both, have the bio dad do the first half & let the step-dad actually "give you away". He is much more your "dad" & deserves the right to have this honor. He's the one who should be there for the kiss on the cheek before handing you over to the fiance. Just because someone is your biological father & has the same genes as you doesn't mean he deserves to be called "dad". Your bio dad should've thought about this years ago when he decided to not be part of your life & he can't just expect to waltz in now & be given equal rights.

Private User
Married: 2+ years ago
Reviews: 5
Sep 15, 2010 at 4:23 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I am adopted and my biological father wouldn't dream of infringing on the man-who-raised-me's honor to walk me down the aisle. That being said my dad (the man who raised me) asked if I wanted my biological father to walk with me.
He suggested either both walking down with me or my bio-father walking with me half way and my real dad the rest of the way.
I thought both were nice solutions even though I decided only to have my dad walk with me.
I think you need to do what feels right for you.

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