My Brother Just Got Engaged, Now What?

Congrats! Your brother is getting married (insert party hat emoji)! This means you’re probably having all the feels right about now, plus the realization that someone actually wants to marry your brother (haha). With all this excitement, you’re also bound to have some pretty important wedding-related questions pop into your mind—like when will his fiancé(e) be added to the family group text thread. But for real, there are some serious questions that you’ll want answered before you start celebrating your bro’s engagement. Don’t start bugging your sibling for wedding deets just yet—there’s a time and place for everything!

If your brother is getting married, read on to learn more about your role.

When should you post the news on the gram?

Don’t immediately post an Instagram or add of pic of the rock to your story until you get the green light from your brother. We know you’re low-key freaking out about gaining another sib, but you have to wait for them to share the news. Yes, it can be hard to keep the news to yourself, but it’s your brother’s engagement, so let him have the spotlight before you announce to the world how stoked you are.

Is it chill to hang with your brother’s fiancé(e) solo now?

Absolutely! If you aren’t already close with your brother’s fiancé(e) then that needs to change—asap. Ask to go grab a drink together, or better yet, ask them to brunch, (because who doesn’t love a good brunch?), and get that one-on-one time. Spending quality time together, as cheesy as it sounds, is an easy way to get to know your future-sis or bro-in-law and also get the inside scoop on wedding plans.

Will you be in the wedding or in charge of any pre-wedding activities?

It’s pretty much a no-brainer that if your brother is getting married then you’ll be in the wedding party. This means you’ll want to help throw any showers or even pitch in for the bach party. Just make sure to coordinate with your future-sis or bro-in-law to find out what is expected of you throughout the wedding planning process.

Photo: Evan Chung Photography

Is it okay to be salty if they don’t ask you to be in the wedding?

Like we said, it’s basically universal code that if your brother is getting married then siblings should be in the wedding party. But, if you haven’t been asked to be in the wedding try not to take it personally. Every situation is different, so keep your head up and don’t let it get to you. The last thing you’ll want is Kardashian drama between you and your brother’s fiancé(e)—yikes.

When can you pop the bubbly?

After your brother pops the question you’ll definitely want to celebrate! But remember—this isn’t a college party—so don’t get too lit. Be mindful at engagement parties or other wedding-related functions by not having one too many. Instead, celebrate accordingly so you won’t wake up the next morning with a headache or with #regrets.

Will you get a plus-one?

Most likely, yes. If you’re a family member then usually you’re guaranteed a plus-one, otherwise known as a date to the wedding. But if you aren’t seriously dating someone and are getting the vibe that you may not get the option, don’t freak out. Your brother could have a limited venue space or another valid reason as to why your bae isn’t getting an invite. If it’s really bothering you, we give you a free pass to nag them about it a little. After all, he is your brother and is probably used to it by now.

Do you have to get them a gift?

Yass honey! With so many rules of wedding gift giving, you’ll definitely want to stay on top of your gift giving game during your brother’s engagement. Just keep track of their wedding registry and website so you know what to get them and which wedding function requires gifts.

Can my toast be a roast?

Definitely not. You don’t want your share every single embarrassing thing your brother did as a child during your toast—no matter how tempting it may be. Instead, if you’re asked to give a speech at a pre-wedding event or even at the wedding, then make sure you share a story that’s sweet, funny and caring. If that fails, you can also try using our go-to toast template.