Now that I’ve been a “Mrs.” for a whopping 30+ days, I’m practically an expert on this whole marriage thing. Just kidding. But I have learned a few little things during this first stage of wedded bliss, and I’m here to share what I've learned during this exciting time. Here are six observations on the first month of marriage from one newlywed’s perspective.
There is no dramatic transformation.
Friends and family keep asking me how it feels to be a married woman. Well, it feels basically the same as before. Aside from the occasional butterflies that come with calling my husband my husband, life hasn’t changed much during this first month of marriage. Not that I was expecting it to—although I was kind of hoping I would transform into a domestic goddess overnight (no such luck, but I do have a ton of fancy new pots and pans from the registry, so stay tuned). I’m the same, he’s the same—and that’s a good thing!
...But there is more of a team mentality.
While everyday life is pretty much the same, I’ve noticed a subtle shift in the way we approach decisions, make plans, solve problems, and work together. We instinctively consult one another on matters big and small and seem to be more considerate and supportive of one another in general. “Me” truly became “we” once those vows were exchanged.
Divvying up responsibility is awesome.
There are certain tasks or chores that I find burdensome but my husband is happy to handle, and vice versa. I’m not going to lie: the ability to pawn those off (for life, please!) is a pretty nice perk. It’s been fun to take charge of the things I’m good at and watch him do the same. We’ve each fallen into our roles and, even just during the first month of marriage, established a system that’s mutually beneficial.
Getting used to a new name is weirder than I expected.
Although I took my husband's last name (pssst, here's our guide to changing your last name after marriage), I still accidentally introduce myself or otherwise refer to myself with my maiden name all the time. When I do use my new name, I kind of feel like I’m bluffing. It still doesn’t feel like my real last name. When friends and family call me by my new name, they still make a big show of it, winking or dramatically emphasizing the last part. All this to say: It doesn’t really come naturally right away.
Random people start asking you about kids immediately
Whoa, these questions start flooding in on day one. Strangers seem very eager to see us start a family, and they sure aren’t afraid to ask when exactly that might be happening. Every innocent “hey, guess what?” is met with “you’re having a baby?!” On Father’s Day a couple weeks ago, my husband was asked—several times—whether he would be celebrating the holiday for himself any time soon. I think it’s funny and I don’t mind, but I certainly wasn’t expecting that.
I missed that free time.
Nights and weekends are no longer dedicated to picking out bow ties, finalizing itineraries, or organizing seating charts. Nice to see you again, hobbies and interests, remember me? I really enjoyed wedding planning, but I didn't realize how much it had taken over my life until we returned from our honeymoon to an unfamiliar calm. I have not yet experienced wedding withdrawal during the first month of marriage, but I'm keeping these awesome tips in my back pocket just in case! For now, I am welcoming this newfound downtime with open arms.