WWR: The Third Rails of Wedding Wire

I THINK THIS IS THE VENYOO FOR ME AND MY MAN WHAT YOU THINK IT HAS A ARBUR AND FLOWERS AND STUFF BUT THEY WWANT LIKE $2 PER SERSON THAT A LOT RIGHT I MEAN I LOVE IT BUT I NEED TO STILL BUY LIKE OTHER STUFF AND STUFF

Oh wow that one has me busting up laughing.

My friend offered to be my DJ if I paid him in weed! Then he showed up stoned at the wedding and just played "Tiny Dancer" over and over! I don't understand...HOW DID THIS HAPPEN? Life is so unfair.

I SO needed a laugh today

OMFG Tiny Dancer BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA

My parents and DH's parents are such complete a-holes. THEY WON'T PAY FOR OUR WEDDING! #@&*^*#^(#(!

I have a tattoo of a rather giant male genitalia specimen on my right cheek. My FMIL told me to cover it up not to offend guests, since that's the side of my face that will be facing the audience. Should I uninvite her to the wedding so she doesn't have to look at it since it bothers her THAT much, or should I hold it up against her once we have kids and not let her see them?

FH cheated on me! I am so pissed! The wedding is totally off, forget it!

Awww he just sent me flowers and a text:

Sup baby u still mad wit me? lets fck 2nite 2 make up. U like the flwrs? Miss u (insert wrong name)

Aww he is so sweet, he made a new nick-name for me! The wedding is totally back on!

My sister has cancer and lost all her hair. I told her she can't be in my wedding anymore because she will make my pictures look ugly. Can I use a blow up doll in her place?

I just finished registering: I have matching Wiis, PS3s, laptops, 4 cameras (its easier to switch cameras than the little memory cards they sell for them) , and a pair of his and her flat screens (to play the matching wiis on, its not like we can take turns). My mom says that we need to add some cheap stuff to the registry. I hate poor people! Can I just register for gift cards since I don't want any cheap stuff. It seems so much easier than taking the stuff back.

I want to ride a dolphin down my aisle and have my Bridesmaids rise from clam shells. Where can I find a dolphin to swim on land and it needs to be tie dye!

I just finished registering: I have matching Wiis, PS3s, laptops, 4 cameras (its easier to switch cameras than the little memory cards they sell for them) , and a pair of his and her flat screens (to play the matching wiis on, its not like we can take turns). My mom says that we need to add some cheap stuff to the registry. I hate poor people! Can I just register for gift cards since I don't want any cheap stuff. It seems so much easier than taking the stuff back.

Oh man, I love Paige's one.

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I was engaged earlier this year to Guy A but now that I'm with Guy B, it's totally meant to be...

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Two months later - broken up with Guy B...

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Guy C is amazing and also loves Jesus like me!!!!!

I LOVE st. patricks day and want that as the theme of the wedding. I am getting married in june though. does that matter?

I understand that this is just to be funny and some posts are not thought through before the button is pushed, but this is getting a little out of hand.

There are some newly engaged girls out there who are a little clueless about wedding planning and they ask stupid questions. Don't make them scared to post because they might get made fun of.

I understand that they need to do the work on their own, posts/questions get repeated and some people are just plain clueless about life, but don't disrespect what this form is here for-asking others for help/ideas/understanding.

and yes, I have probably had some stupid posts and comments in the past!

So my dad's counsin's son's girlfriend is a total bitch, can I disinvite that whole side of the family because she's pregnant and they all love her and hate me, and I don't want that attention hogging whore at my wedding.

So this is my dress! When they measured me they said I need a size 20, but I bought a size 4. My wedding is in 3 weeks. Does anyone have some diet/ exercise advice?

OMG you guys I wish I had all day to read this stuff! Just made my day!

Invite wording??? Help!

How do I word in an invite that we are getting married, but aren't having a wedding, or a ceremony, or a ring exchange, or a reception, or a back-yard bbq, or a family dinner (bc we cant afford it) BUT are registered at Williams-Sonoma, Macy's, Momentum BMW, and have 3 Honeymoon registries?? I should put the registries at the top right?

I have elderly relatives, but I think old people smell weird. Can I put them in a special holding container so they don't ruin my big day? If so, can I find a Bridal Elderly People Canister for $5?

I was thinking of making my bridal party do an elaborate gymnastics routine and somersault down the aisle. My MOH is pregnant. What a b, right? Can I kick her out of the wedding?