what is with the no cash bar stand?

HAHAHA Candice. OMG I love it. Kristen, I agree. Shannon C., I'm sorry your FH is an ass. I'd be embarrassed and royally pissed off, as well. As far as that goes, we have one car and it's a Versa, which is a gas miser so Matt.

@Briana I think it's great that you are doing a donation wedding rather than gifts. I really respect that. I don't really see an issue with a cash bar (personally) but I would put on the reception card that it is a cash bar. as Anna B. said, most people don't carry cash and you don't want to catch them with their pants down. It's your wedding and you can have it how you want it. You are already buying them dinner for goodness sakes! They can go out afterwards or bring a flask lol.

Another reason why I loved the morning wedding, no alcohol except for a champagne toast....mmmm now I want some lol. I'm very easily distracted it's taken me almost an hour to read through this post, I swear lol.

To each their own, I say. I think it's necessary to have the basic drinks available, and possibly 2-3 complimentary drinks from the bar, and the rest is up to the guest. Like others have said as long as you give a variety and you're at least providing the basics you're good.

ooooh look shiny......

Omg I just read the thread after posting my honest and polite opinion. This is the funniest thread I have read so thanks everyone =) and I had an open bar and am pretty sure everyone besides me and dh were blitzed lol. I just know how hard it is to pay for everything, especially putting the bux into my fancy kia rio and riding around on my high horse all the time.

Love the drunken photos!

@Missy K....Showing up with a gift for your wedding is not a necessity either! However, it is safe to assume your guests will not come empty handed. Let's hope they have also brought cash to buy a beer after your toast is over. Perhaps, they can dip into the cash gift card they will bring and remove some cash to defray the cost of attending.

I really dont know were he goes with car thing. i am like ok i know you dont have car but i have one! oh and we take it to um go vist his family in Chicago and go get grocery run errands he was in my car to go do laundry today! and hell our wedding ceremony is 20 min from the reception and we warnt walking that! so oh ye he heard it about that one! i get good gas millage and i love my car to death!!!! it is my baby!!!

Shannon, Like I said on your apology post, don't worry about it. They all act like buttheads on occasion.

"the guests didn't notice, they were too busy being happy for the bride and groom". Really? Weddings are boring (unless it's your own or immediate family) - seriously, people don't get all excited to go to a wedding - it's not the superbowl or an awesome concert. For goodness sake, let them have a glass of wine to sit thru the speeches, the dances, the bloody glass clinking ....sick of the holier than thou BS about you should be honored you are a guest at my wedding you lowly peasant!

I know saying weddings are boring on a wedding website is a bit odd, but let's all admit it's kinda true. Rant over

Drinking is against my beliefs. And most of my guest list doesn't drink. So in my case it would be a complete waste of money. I don't think it's such a big deal.

@Sharon - yup. That's why we skipped the speeces, the dances, the clinking...and went straight to the drinking!

And I would not be surprised if these "People are there to celebrate YOU, not to get WASTED!" posters come back after their weddings to whine that everyone was bored, nobody hit the dance floor, and the whole crew ditched out early.

A letter to your future selves: No, your guests didn't ditch out because there was a cash bar...they ditched because your contempt for them was more than obvious.

I usually dread going to weddings as is, let alone knowing that it's going to be dry. If I were headed to a dry wedding I would either drink before I got there or I would bring a flask (or two) with me (and I'd be the hit of the reception).

Sharon is right, weddings are BORING without drinking and dancing.

Well said Sharon and Shannon! The thing that ticks me off is the contempt I read from posters who are view it as a special gift, like they are doing their guests a favor. Without guests, there is no celebration.

Kristen....My comments don't apply to those posters who don't drink for whatever reason, and their guests don't drink either. Of course, it would be a waste of money. But, would you consider making your guest pay for soda, iced tea and lemonade?

No I wouldn't. I understand the point. I guess most of the weddings I have been to are people in my family. None of them drink so I just never really thought about it. But I agree with the fact that you should appreciate and thank your guests for taking the time to share your day with you.

Is it odd that I was actually shocked that people were watching us during our First Dance?! I expected everyone to be texting or eating/drinking all our free crap! LOL

At the wedding we went to this weekend we had to endure the longest, most boring, unemotional MOH speech EVAR. Thank GOD I was buzzed! Although I might have been caught sticking a finger gun up to my brain once or twice. Oops.

Ok I will weigh in for fun...... As previously stated I am a native New Yorker and the norm is an open bar. I'm also a kick a$$ hostess at home and at my wedding. Now let me really get $hitty......my gown was expensive, the cost per plate was high enough, my flowers were outstanding IMHO ( brushing shoulders) and the food was kick a$$. Yes we had a full open bar and my guests enjoyed it thoroughly! While an open bar maybe should not be expected....being a good host/hostess is.

We are all to some degree, shaped by our experiences. There is a cash bar wedding that I went to and the whole doggone thing was tacky. Could the bride have used her

budget more wisely....yes! Punch, soda, coffee, sweetened tea etc were not covered. But I bet you her a$$ was eyeing the gift box all night long.....people had driven quite a distance to share in her day....and the venue was a dump, the food was okay, the dj sucked and people started leaving early. If you want to get married you don't need guest

Just put on your Nikes and do it! If a bride advocates for a cash bar it's a problem on here same as if you don't have one.....who wins? But I am sick of the excuses for those who want to be poor hosts.....that does not mean that if you have a cash bar for certain reasons that you are one.....but what are you offering your guests? Some folks seem to miss that point on the regular.

At the end of the day this topic does come up often and people get quite defensive......so if you have to rant and rave about whether it's tacky or not who are you trying to convince? Offer your guests a good time whatever way you define it and they will have nothing but good things to say....skimp and don't get mad when they bash your day....nuff said!

@Carmen, you had me bursting out loud with laughter, twice. as per usual :-)

I have been trying all evening to post. Website kept timing out. We are those type of people who have BYOB and we will supply the sodas for our parties because quite frankly its too expensive to buy the hard stuff and everyone drinks a different type of beer. As for our wedding, our venue has a no alcohol and tobacco policy. There will be children present and most of our guests will be driving back to their homes which will be about 2 to 3 hours give or take. Family and friends alike drink maybe once a month if that so having a dry wedding for us is no big deal. We will be offering a round a drinks later that night for anyone who joins us at our favorite watering hole.

Ok, but here is the thing. Where I am from, having a cash bar is not "skimping". Not in the least. I have been to somewhere around 20 weddings and only 1--- that's 5% --- was an open bar. And they were LOADED.

Just sayin', don't put people down because they live somewhere different than you and have different expectations from you.