what is with the no cash bar stand?

YAY nothing beats a morning drink! Bottoms up!

I kind of just did a speed reading throughtthis so sorry if im repeating anyone.

Where I come from a 'cash bar' is a terrible tacky big 'no-no"...at the same time- it would have only saved me 6 dollars per person to NOT have open bar. So I agree with others that its definately a regional difference. different strokes for different folks. hey, everyonehas their own set of prioriorites. but some things really rubbed me the wrong way : such as 'paying for the guests to get sloshed'- I've gone to a wedding that had a cash bar because thety bride 'didnt want her friends to embarass her'..i found it so rude! 1- I'm an adult, and if I want to enjoy a wine with my dinner or a martini during cocktail hour i should be trusted to do that. 2- cassh bar does NOTHING to stop embarassing drunks. if they spend 80 bucks to get drunk and nekkid at the bar any other friday night, it wont bother them to spend that at your wedding.

I never thought it had anything to do with "well they gave us a gift." I always assumed it was proper ettiquette for a HOST OF A PARTY. If you threw a birthday party for your child, would you expect the other children to pay for their own ballon animal? Or to use the moonbounce? No, you would provide it for everyone, as you are the host of the party. If you couldn't afford it, you wouldn't have it.

Alcohol, however is a staple of a party for most people, so "not having it" isn't really option. Therefore it should be provided in some capacity. Doesn't have to be full open bar. But something should be available, at no cost, for those who wish to drink. Thats my opinion.

Holy crap I just got myself caught up on all the fun. You guys crack me up!

@Ava, I agree with you, it is all about being a good host. Imagine if you bought airline tickets and had to pay for a hotel room and transportation and then come to find out you had to pay for a few drinks too? Yeah, I wouldn't be happy.

Weighing in on the weddings are boring bit, I actually like them a lot, when done well. The reception is my favorite part. I enjoy having a few drinks and dancing my butt off all night long. And I've been sloshed at more than a few weddings, but never falling on ground embarrassing drunk....that came at the after party....HAHAHA.

From following this and reading 11 pages worth of posts. I feel the biggest issue here is how people want to quickly "jump" on someone for not wanting to serve alcohol at their wedding. We all come from different walks of life. I can't tell you how many family functions, parties, weddings, and such I have been to in my life where alcohol wasn't apart of the deal. What about a couple who are not drinkers? Should they be required to serve alcohol when it isn't a part of their lifestyle? How about a recovering alcoholic, should they have to serve alcohol at their wedding? I am pretty comfortable with my family and friends to know they will not feel put out or let down for a lack of a better term with us having a venue that doesn't allow alcohol. Does it make us bad people for not serving alcohol at our reception? I think not yet members of society would say otherwise and thats not fair. IMO

@Ava-I totally disagree that not having it isnt an option. It for sure is an option. If you are paying for this wedding, and do not want alcohol there, for whatever reason, they you have the right to make that decision.

I do not understand why this issue is so difficult. Its booze people. I do drink, and although I do prefer there to be alcohol at a wedding, if the couple chose not to have it at their wedding, I would not think them a bad host or that they werent thinking of their guests. They clearly did not want it and that should be it, bottom line.

The norm in my area you pay a set amount of $ per person for open bar. So for those worried about guest getting sloushed/hammered on your dime - look at it as the glass 1/2 full - you got your money worth. LOL Agreed there is always one (or maybe even a handful) at every wedding that had a few too many, but as someone posted earlier they are the entertainment.

I will be funding the alchohal at the wedding havent decided weather or not it will be cash bar we will be getting most drinks at sams club because it is cheaper this thread really got me thinkng

People need to chill on the open bar thing. people commented that dh and i should have had one too. but seeing as how most of my family dont drink, most of our friends were underage at the time, and another 20 or so were people from our church who dont drink, why in the world would we pay so much for an open bar when only a handful of people were gonna use it!?!?!?

Well said Libragurl!

Glenn....Our bars are quite similar!

The bottom line is, you either value your guests and treat them well or you feel your guests are another accessory for YOUR special day.

THings I have read on this forum by folks who justify not serving any type of alcohol(even just beer and wine).

"My guests are not getting drunk on my dime."

"I am already feeding them, isn't that enough?"

"They should be honored to share in our special day."

It's these kinds of comments coupled with seriously expensive dresses and over the top decor that truly scream bad manners.

Okay, everyone, how do you feel about a "pot luck" wedding reception?

Glenn, *applause*

I sincerely appreciate your booze table.

And for the record - I'm not much of a drinker. Beer just makes me ill, not because of excess, it just doesn't agree with me. Neither does orange juice. Go figure.

Anywhoo- example. My cousin is allergic to wheat. But if she invites us over for dinner, she doesn't NOT make pasta for us. It's good, it pleases the masses, and she can eat whatever else she wants. Same principles apply to alcohol: don't like it? Some do, be a good host and offer a drinky drink. IMHO.

Anna B - Excellent analogy! I only drink Coors Light but I wouldn't dream of only offering what some consider "piss water."

What I am reading here is that most everyone is posting as no other beverages will be provided at the reception.

The wedding and reception venue determines alot. We are having 50 guest ,the cost just for the food and tea, coffee and punch is $2000 .The punch is $30 a gallon as well as coffee and tea. Soft drinks run $10 per person. Alchoholic punch runs $100 gallon plus $100 server fee because of alchohol serving liscense requirement. If other beverages are available at no cost, then I see no problem with having a cash bar available for those who want to indulge in an alchoholic drink at their own expense. If other beverages are not provided then yes I can see the problem. Alsocourtesy requires guest should be informed ahead of the wedding that non alchoholic drinks will be provided ,but a cash bar will be there for those who choose to drink alchohol.

Coral B. the dress cost me $133, so we could put the money toward the reception. We treasure our friends ,and they are the kind that can't be bought with a drink. They are understanding to a fault ,and we hope we are the same in kind. It is about being a part of someone's special day whether alchohol or anything at all is provided or not. If they are there to just to be dined and wined and then judge ,then they are not friends are they ?