what is with the no cash bar stand?

I'm doing just hosted beer and wineand a cash bar for hard alcohol. It's a personal preference, I don't see what the big deal is

This is the future husband Matt typing this comment. Sure, I can have my parents pay for an open bar, but I don't want that. If my guests get upset, oh well. There will be free beverages such as pop, wine, and beer. If someone wants something a little harder, they can pay for it themselves. My guests pay hundreds of dollars in gas for their pathetic cars, I don't think spending 3 dollars for a rum and coke is going to be offensive. This goes for most of you Americans as well. If you're pissed off about a cash bar, wow you have no life. You should be happy for the bride and groom. That's what really matters. The cash bar is there like I said earlier for those who want something a little harder. Peace.

Wait - what does gassing up my "pathetic" car have to do with anything? I also pay a mortgage, buy groceries and have a cell phone. I didn't realize that could be held against me and taken into consideration when being invited to a wedding!

Ha, exactly what Heather said. Really, you invite me to a wedding I'm already spending at least $100 on a gift for you, the least you can do is provide me with food and alcohol.

We had an open bar. DS and I bought all of the drinks for the reception. I'm with some of the other ladies who are from the Western PA area, I've never been to a wedding where we had to pay for our drinks. I wouldn't have had much cash on me at those weddings (I'm a big debit card girl!)

Cash bars are totally fine, like everyone else has said, as long as they are for the right reason. Also, let your guests know (if they are not aware of the cash bar!) otherwise they may not have cash.

I'm with Heather & Glenn....point being? Clearly this guy must not be an American either if you read what he said about "you Americans". Thanks bud.

Wow, clearly Shannon C.'s fiance has wonderful diplomacy skills...ever consider the Foreign Service exam? He can represent "us Americans" all over the world and tell foreign heads of state that they 'need a life.'

Well I think its pretty "pathetic" that your coming on here telling people they have no life when this thread was started to vent about the issue and maybe get a better understanding of how different regions have different views on the situation. Way to keep an open mind.

I see it from both sides ... but some of the comments have been slightly rude ...

"not paying for my guests to get sloshed at my wedding" okay so you are telling me just because I want an adult beverage, I'm automatically going to get sloshed? No I know my limit and believe me most people and I repeat MOST people have the common courtesy to not go overboard at the wedding ...

"Drive a pathetic car" dude that is really rude ... I not only have to put gas in my car, but like others have mentioned I have other freakin' bills to pay too, plus a wedding gift for you ...

I'm not one to demand an open bar and I always bring some money with me just in case but honestly you don't need to be so rude in your comments

You don't want an open bar no problem but really don't go calling us drunks, pathetic because of our cars and high maintence people.

Yeah, I think after letting her DH take the mike and call us "pathetic" with "no life," Shannon C. loses ANY high ground she may have had accusing people being rude about cash bars. Or, well, anything.

Sanctimony isn't a good color on anyone.

I think some people should just not have a reception because clearly they do not like the people they are thinking of inviting. Your "American" friends will probably be very happy to just stay home and gas up their pathetic cars than come to your reception anyway.

I think everyone just needs to agree to disagree. I see both sides, alcohol is freaking expensive, and probably in a lot of demographics where people don't have that much money cash bars have become a norm. Where some parts of the country it hasn't become common practice.

One person said it's like inviting people over to your place, you would provide the refreshments, but I've been to many a party where the host provides a limited selection and if you want something special you have to bring it.

Personally I would rather provide a limited selection of alcohol rather then having none at all. but there are 3 reasons for this- A. the less alcohol we provide the less we have to buy ahead of time, even if we will be "reimbursed" by people purchasing it. B. our venue and catering service dont provide a bartender, if we limit the drinks to things that just have to be pored we can have whoever is on hand do it, instead of hiring someone. ....cont....

C. FH family doesnt drink, and out of respect for them I want to limit the amount of hard alcohol being served to one mixed signature drink.

So really- lets not call people names or anything.

Let people have their differences. Be the bigger (wo)man

Wow. You complain about people being rude on posts. Your snotty attitude takes the cake sweetheart.

I agree, let's just accept the fact that it is a regional/circle of family & friends thing. I wouldn't be PO'd if I attended a wedding that was cash bar, as long as the water,coffee, tea, juice/punch was free. The way I see it, if you can't afford to give your guests at least those, you need to consider your fianances. Becasue if you can't afford to give your guests punch and coffee, you probably can't afford to have the wedding you're currently planning and budgeting for.

Well said FMS!

Exactly FMS, exactly.

First off, I'm British.
The ceremony is all about the bride and groom. The reception is for the guests as a thank you for coming. You are the host of the reception. A good host knows that the reception is all about your guests. Especially since they are probably spending money on a gift, and gas for their pathetic cars to drive to your wedding.

Wow...I have nothing to really add to the arguments, I actually agree that if sodas, beer and wine are provided, that offering harder drinks at a cost to the guest is acceptable in most cases (that's what we did, since we were in wine country anyhow).

However, I'd be pretty darn embarrassed if my husband came on here and acted like that. Way to go ruining your future wife's (and your) credibility dude.

Matt, I hope that you post those exact words on your Wedding Website. See how many people come to your wedding at all.

In case you didn't notice, Shannon started the thread. She didn't have to. It's all a matter of opinion. I agree that it's acceptable to offer beer and wine. It's just MY opinion that I wouldn't bother to pay for a rum and coke at a wedding, I'd rather either have it, or not. We're not at an event at the Hard Rock, paying loads for booze.

You are overreacting, in your "pathetic" head.