what is with the no cash bar stand?

Nope, Candice, soda. When referring to a cash bar, I mean alcohol and that's it. And when you come from a place where cash bars are the norm, you don't NOT bring cash if you want to drink liquor. It's just the way it is.

We paid for 2 dresses each for our bridal 'help' & a suit & 2 ties for each of our guy help.

We had ours in the DC area like Shannon & had a book-end open bar.

During our research we also initiated a similar conversation with the board about this topic & chose to go with a open bar to begin the night & consumption bar to finish the night. All through the night, beer & wine were open.

But IMO - I just think only you can know your crowd & region.

Heck YOU ARE THE COMPANY U KEEP!

We had a G-Town couple whose family is worth half a billion & their wedding had top shelf liquor open bar & yet they didn't partake in our bar after dinner.

We had people who are between jobs drinking like their was no tomorrow.

So I think the point is:

It's not a broad brush stroke to say what works for you works for every1 else.

There is no right or wrong.

See Missy, the wedding I went to recently required that you pay for soda, tea, coffee, everything but water; with no advanced warning. I think that was wrong and tacky. I didn't need to drink alcohol, but would have like a soda, but because I didn't realize I had to pay for soda, DIDN'T think I NEEDED to bring cash.

That is wrong, Candice, I agree. I am not a fan of water to begin with so yeah, that would have pissed me off too. Why would they do that? I mean, I can understand trying to save money but there are other places that a person can cut back on. Basic human needs for your guests shouldn't be one of them.

I don't like water either, lol.

In my opinion, this person couldn't afford this reception but did it anyway. She went with a hall that gave her a small tacky room, with 6 rubber squares (not lying) for the dance floor. The food was awful, the dj was an old dude who looked like he was sleeping half the time, and then all we had to drink that was free was water.

I would have much rather gone to someone's house or backyard and did a pot luck/byob, than that. She didn't have a lot of people come, not sure if she didn't invite a lot or they just didn't show up, so space wouldn't have been an issue for a back yard.

Oh and by the way, this bride didn't even invite people to the wedding. She got married in Vegas. So basically she just wanted to have a "reception" so that people could give her gifts. It was really bad.

I dont see anything wrong with a cash bar if you tell people about it.

We are having a cash bar because we cannot afford an open one.

I am the only one working. FH is not because he is focusing on school (he graduates and commissions into the Army in December).

I will be telling people about the cash bar on our reception card and its on our website.

I 100% agree w/ Shannon- I feel like you are hosting a party and to me, that means you pick up the tab. If I couldn't afford to have a full bar, I would find it in my budget to at least have beer/wine. I haven't had a BYOB party since I was in college.

I would be stuck at a cash bar, because I rarely have cash and yes, I would probably be annoyed. It is totally not the norm around where I am from (Chicago/LA) so if it is, then there is nothing to be worried about- but it isn't something I would do.

As always on this topic, I am in total agreement w/ Shannon, Glenn, Heather & some other girls. I am also against a cash bar. It is one thing to serve a limited bar, such as beer and wine only, quite another to serve nothing. Handing out tickets makes it more of a carnival than a wedding.

It really ticks me off when the bride is sporting couture and having David Tutera centerpieces and tablescapes, but opts for a cash bar. It's as if guests are an after thought, invited for gifts.

I find it is just being a bad hostess, period. If you come to my home, you are offered soft drinks, beer, wine and usually a vodka, gin, rum, whiskey, scotch.

Someone posted:

"We're already feeding them, providing entertainment, and making sure they have liquid to quench their thirst. Anything more than that is up to them."

This is a straight up bad attitude. Without your guests, your wedding would not be a celebration.

@ Carole B: (my econ self coming out here ) we also expect some gifts too for said entertainment.

or

Simply fun for gifts.

Well said Carole!

@ Alicia R. - We're doing a toonie bar too

@ Carole B - We're doing a toonie bar (where every drink is $2), and having pop, juice, coffee, and tea complimentary. So I don't think there's anything wrong with it for a couple that's doing everything else on a budget. My dress was $221, our center pieces are going to be about $5 each, and everything else is going to be cheaper too. We're going to have complimentary wine on the tables too, and probably 2 drink "tickets" per person complimentary.

But I do agree that if the bride is wearing a designer dress, and their centerpieces are super expensive, as well as everything else, it's kind of rude to have a cash bar and leave your guests on their own after spending so much on everything else.

I'm with the No Cash Bar side as I've posted on similar threads. FYI there is a bride here who posted about not paying for people to get drunk and complaining about the cost but I just happened to notice on another thread that she is planning on wearing 2 dresses. Food for thought....

@CKt.....LMAO!

@Vanilla Nut....Why, thank you!

For the record, this is my second wedding. We have requested no gifts, and we are supplying a full premium open bar with a decent champagne toast. Since it is a DW, we feel we must go above and beyond for our guests.

If a budget can't handle even beer and wine, and it is common in your culture, than the budget needs to be cut somewhere else. Never cut the budget at the expense of the guest.

Well I for one paid WAY TOO MUCH for my dress and I'm having open bar with all the fixin's. There are three things I didn't want to skimp on: My dress, a good photographer, and awesome food/drinks. Everything else like elaborate centerpieces and fancy chair covers (which nobody gives two shits about anyway) took a backseat. So - yay for them and yay for me.

We're doing an open bar for the cocktail hour and having wine service with dinner. Other than that, people are paying for their own drinks. I've budgeted money to other things to make the night special, and I wouldn't cut those things out so that people can have "free booze." I have better things to spend my money on than everyone's drinks.

Well I am from the Chicago area and whenever I have attended a wedding there was always an open bar. I think that an open bar is very much appreciated by the guests, but not required.

However, when hosting just a party, like a birthday or BBQ, it is not uncommon to ask guests to BYOB because just like Keatha had posted, if I were to supply booze and food I would only be able to have like 1 party a year. I really dont think you can compare a BBQ in your backyard to a wedding.

I think you need to do whatever you are comfortable with. Bottom line is that there is no right or wrong answer to this situation.

And honestly...it really shouldnt matter what you spend YOUR money on. If you want to spend and slplurge on a dress and have only a cash bar, it should not matter! I think its pretty unfair to say that you are a bad host if you dont have an open bar but can splurge on a dress. That is ridiculous.

I am from Pittsburgh & have been to about 10 weddings and every one had an open bar besides one, and that had no alcohol at all. it must be a regional thing because i never heard of it before joining ww. and i completely agree with shannon on everything she said. those excuses are compeltely lame that people use for the reasoning behind having a cash bar. its fine if you cant afford it but to say you dont want to pay for people to get drunk and be out of control is just plain dumb. people can enjoy a few beers or rum and cokes and not get sloppy. and most people want the dance floor packed and having alcohol could definitely help

@October bride, I agree with you, I'm from the Pittsburgh area too, and open bars do seem pretty common.

@Shannon C..yes I do agree sometimes on these forums open bar advocates can seem a bit harsh..I'm having an open bar but my region is pretty cheap to do so..so for me it boils down to budget as well as what is customary in your region/social circle. I feel like some of the posts that talk about that you are not a good host or it is improper come off as sounding pretty condescending to brides that are having a cash bar. I'm having an open bar, but I feel it is ridiculous to splurge out money to go in debt (for those with a major budget issue) or something so people can get tipsy..I feel that often girls may be made to feel bad that are having cash bars..but I do agree with the points that some people just using cash bar dismiss by saying everyone will get sloshed..just cuz my guests get an open bar doesn't mean they are going to act like animals! cont

I talked with two ladies at lunch, one from the Northeast (PA) the other from the Midwest (MI). The one from the Northeast said that a cash bar is "beyond tacky". The other one said that beer and wine should be supplied but cash bar for liquor isn't the worst thing.

Food for thought, that's two people from different regions and both said that you at the minimum need to provide beer and wine.

For the record I'm from the Northeast but been in Florida since I was 10 so I'm basically from here.

Okay short version of what I wrote lol..I see both sides..and I do think that cash bar brides get some heat here on WW..but as long as you aren't splurging so much on dresses and decor and have no money for drinks that's okay..you do what you can with your budget, and also regional/socieoeconomic status..people that say you are a bad host or improper are making generalizations without taking into those factors into consideration which is condescending/rude.