what is with the no cash bar stand?

I think making your guests pay for soda and coffee at your wedding reception just shouldn't be done. Don't have alcohol or do, I don't care, but I will just say wedding cake and water, yum.

We are purchasing the alcohol ourselves, beer, wine, and liquors for our 40 or so guests. We know what each one likes to drink, both alcoholic and non-alcoholic. I think it has to do with budget and personal preferance.

Bottom line is people remember the food/music/party. They dont remember what we looked like, how the flowers looked, or even the ceremony...folks who are spending money and time to attend this day FOR you should be treated to a good time.

Amy exactly, you said it perfectly.

@Candice i am having a beer and wine served paid for by us and if i can convince the FH no hard alcohol at all! so for me notifying people is not needed as i kind of have the open bar. i just dont like the sound that you are obligated to do this for your guest that is not the case here.

though @ shannon if i was having a princess wedding i think you would be obligated to pay for drinks for your guest. I know family members who will complain that i am being all high and mighty losing touch with my roots cause i am having the alcohol paid for. so people are going to complain either way my family if i have it. his if i dont.

@FMS thank you.

@ Shannon C. see you are providing something and that is fine, but to not provide anything and not warn ahead of time is not cool. Trust me , I have been to that wedding and almost everyone was upset.

@othershannon, what I'm talking about, and I've seen a fair number of brides do, is post some fancy $2000 wedding gown that they just bought, $250 bouquet, $300 veil, expensive riverfront venue that will look heavenly in the photos, etc, the "pretty princess stuff."

Then, when it comes time to decide on the bar, they cry poor and whine that they HAVE to have a cash bar because they! just! can't! afford! an! open! bar! *sob*

I call BS on that.

Then there's usually a bunch of followup posts from other cash bar brides about how all wedding guests are idiots and will get totally bombed and, I dunno, run around farting on people because open bars inevitably turn people into booze-soaked morons.

I don't think all cash bars are evil, because I understand in some regions they're normal. I just think too many brides buy into the "special day" bs, make themselves the priority, and then stiff the guests.

@Shannon S and then those are same brides who complain that they didn't get gifts from everyone.

Candice, LOL. "I hate my guests and think they're stupid! Why didn't they buy me anything? WHYYYYYYY!!!!"

Lol, exactly Shannon S.

See i dont see anyone here being upset if i didn't offer it all. ok well i dont see my family being offend his might be.

i am trying so hard to try and combine my country way with his city way. we really are from 2 different worlds on that.

really my family is what you call rednecks with money . and hes family is upper middle class.

one things with rednecks if you offer to much at a party you are seen as snobby.

I am from Toronto, Canada and I am having an open bar. Cash bars are seen as rude in my circle. When people are invited to celebrate your wedding they are guests and should be treated as such. Having them pay for drinks would not be hosting properly.

That being said, this does not include people who choose to have a dry reception. Not having alcohol is a better alternative especially if you don't agree with drinking. It is not rude in my opinion to simply not offer alcohol. IT's the whole having to pay for something at an event that should be hosted. (and while no one is required to buy the alcohol it changes the atmosphere when you can buy it)

As a guest I don't expect to have an open bar but I do expect not to have to pay for part of the meal or drinks.

I have children and I am not rich, I just saved and cut back on things that would not impact my guests so that I could have the reception I wanted.

I've said this before but I'll say it again, I believe it's okay to have a cash bar and I am, in fact, going to. I don't think I've ever been to a wedding where it was open-bar. We'll provide for the toast and all other beverages but alcohol isn't a requirement to have a good time. We're already feeding them, providing entertainment, and making sure they have liquid to quench their thirst. Anything more than that is up to them. I also have alcoholics on my dad's side of the family so if they want to get trashed, I'm not going to be the one paying for it. There have been too many occasions where the night ended with one of them bawling and having to be carried out and I don't really want to pay for that. Having a dry reception isn't an option, unfortunately, though I really wish it was. I don't drink but other people in my family do so...

I find it ironic that some people make their guests 'pay' for little or nothing to party but yet make the people who help them the most - bridal party - pay for everything to serve them...

@other Shannon and Candice ok thats crazy! my reason for not serving a full open bar has nothing to do with budget just with tact and customs in my area. i guess a little amount with budget cause my veune requires 1500 min for an open bar um i am thinking i will have 75 guest at a 11am wedding no i don't think they will drink that much when many dont drink for religious or AA reasons

@CK t...which is exactly why I told my bridesmaids to wear whatever they already owned, so long as it was in black. And also because I am waaaaaay too lazy to coordinate the outfits of grown women.

Shannon C, one would hope they wouldn't drink that much at 11am but unfortunately that isn't always the case.

I remember a time when wearing black (anyone) to a wedding was considered taboo and wrong. Look at how things change. What is bad this year may not be bad next year. This is just a general observation. Open bar vs. cash bar is such a controversial issue. I guess it's really about what you've grown up with considering that most of the people you'll invite to your wedding are your family and most of the weddings you'll attend will also be of family (on average.) I guess I've never really thought about open bars when I go to weddings. As long as I'm fed and there's cake, it's all good

My wedding is at 9:30am and the reception is at 11:00am. We have drinkers so we went with the open bar. I don't think they will be pounding them back, but since we are making them get up early, I will bribe them with alcohol, lol.

I want my guests to have a good time. I don't feel resentment towards them because said guests also want to have a good time.

I found the cheapest dress I could for my bridal party and they are also getting gifts from me, as well as free alcohol, lol.

Bottom line is I want my guests to enjoy themselves and I am doing what I feel is necessary for that. Over all, I like these people and want them to have fun along with us.

Missy K. Did you not have something to drink with that cake? Trust me water because it is the only thing free (and you didn't know to bring cash because no one told you they would be charging for soda's) is not very tastey.

I don't think it is rude to have a cash bar. Up where I'm from, it is pretty common. I am having a "toonie or 2$" bar. The reason for this is that I have seen in past weddings Ive been to that guests have a tendancy to waste drinks if it is an open bar. This way people think about finishing their drink before requesting a new one