Zoe O.
Devoted November 2019

Too Soon for Rehearsal Invites?

Zoe O., on March 28, 2019 at 10:41 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 9
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Our wedding is November 2 of this year with the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner being the night before. We have our dinner venue set and reserved but they won't issue a contract until we have a final headcount. Obviously, we can't really say for sure who will definitely be there at this point. We have our guestlist but we don't know if everyone is going to be able to make it the day before. Some of the wedding party is coming from the opposite side of the country. That being said, is it too early to send out invitations to the rehearsal and dinner?


I know the standard is 6-8 weeks before the event but the venue wants the headcount 6-8 weeks ahead of time, so that would mean I need to do my invitations 12-16 weeks in advance. I know a lot of wedding etiquette is falling out of fashion and people are going more on the whole, "Do what you feel is right for you and your guests" method, but I wanted to get some opinions.


Our church also requires the rehearsal to be held at 4:00 on a Friday, so that means a lot of our wedding party will have to take off work for the day and possibly the day before for those traveling, so I want to give everyone enough time to get the days off scheduled, travel, etc. Right now I'm looking at sending them out on May 1, which would be 6 months to the day. Is that crazy early

9 Comments

  • MrsD
    Legend July 2019
    MrsD ·
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    That's weird, I've never heard of a venue saying that. Ours doesn't need one for our RD until 2 weeks out. Is it a small RD? You could just text everyone about the rehearsal & dinner and see if they can make both.

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  • Zoe O.
    Devoted November 2019
    Zoe O. ·
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    It is fairly small. About 20 people all told - wedding party, spouses/significant others, immediate family, and priest. I think they need the numbers so far in advance because it's a small local restaurant, so they want plenty of time to order in the food.

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  • MrsD
    Legend July 2019
    MrsD ·
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    We are including rehearsal invites in our wedding invites. But I texted everyone prior with times of rehearsal & dinner. We are going to a very small restaurant too!

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  • Amanda
    Super May 2018
    Amanda ·
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    I would find out the exact day the restaurant/venue needs to know a total number by. I would then back track 2 weeks to give yourself time for follow ups and then back track again 6-8 weeks and that's when you should send your invites.

    I would then include the rehearsal invites with wedding invitations for those who are invited to both. I would think sending your invites late, late August / early September seems sufficient.

    If it makes you feel better, maybe just reach out to the out of state people and get a sense on whether they'll be able to come.

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  • Future Mrs Sullivan
    Expert June 2019
    Future Mrs Sullivan ·
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    I think sending them in July or August would give you enough time.
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  • A
    Expert June 2019
    Afterallthistime...Always ·
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    I would check with your venue if you can add people to the headcount. Then maybe just give them the minimum who will definitely be there (immediately family/wedding party and SOs), then add on the few additional people who will be there after they RSVP for the event closer to the date.

    They might just need to have a baseline to determine the deposit you will need, or what size room they need to use.

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  • ASMini914
    Super September 2019
    ASMini914 ·
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    I would just start verbally letting those who will be invited to the rehersal know some of the details and then see what they say.

    I would ask the venue what what would happen if your headcount grew. Usually I believe you would give a headcount for who you know will be there at minimum so they can contract you for a food/bev. Minimum
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  • Courtney
    Rockstar December 2019
    Courtney ·
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    I agree- start getting the word out now. Let those who are invited time to include that in their travel considerations beforehand. Our rehearsal isn't until December, but we've told some OOT guests about it now because we wanted them to know before booking flights, etc.

    If you want to send a formal invitation then sending one over the summer won't hurt.

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  • Colleen
    Master September 2019
    Colleen ·
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    If it is only 20 people i don’t think you need to do invites for rehersal that far ahead of time. That is standard for wedding.
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