Am i sending invites too early?

If you make them RSVP in August, they will also forget. Booking plane tickets and hotels on time their responsibility, not yours. So you should still go with the standard 6–10 weeks. Then if some people forget, you call them on the RSVP date to get a firm answer

The standard timeline for invitations exists for a reason. I have honestly never seen 12 weeks listed except for people who say the 6-8 weeks is too tight, and that etiquette books are irrelevant and outdated. No wedding is so unique that the timeline needs to be altered for earlier invites. That includes destination weddings. And nearly every wedding, including domestic, someone has to travel. Do not send them at 5 months before the wedding because people will lose and forget the information. People will assume that you are B/C Listing which is considered offensive in some social circles, and is the main reason why earlier invitations than the norm are frequently suggested. Most importantly, no one can commit to anything that early. A number of employers don’t give final schedules before 4-5 weeks. That is why save the date notices are sent 6-12 months ahead, so guests can make the preliminary arrangements such as scheduling the day off work and making travel arrangements. The standard timeline of 6-8 weeks before the wedding is still very much relevant and is not too late, contrary to popular belief. RSVPs are traditionally due 4 weeks before the wedding because caterers don’t need the final headcount before 2-3 weeks and it allows you a buffer of 1 week to track down any last minute replies from guests who didn’t use the website or forgot to mail in the card.


For a November wedding, there is no reason to have replies due earlier than October. Curious though, since you say invites are ready to go, what date is on the reply card? If it says August, those will need to be reprinted to say October.
For a destination wedding, the invitation timeline is not altered to accommodate earlier mailing dates. If you have a destination wedding, you make it explicitly clear when you call your intended guests to give save the date notices that it is in X location, not local to where you live. Hotels of their choice need to be booked by Y date. The invitations will be sent on the standard 6-8 week timeline.

View Quoted Comment What is B/C Listing? Also, we paid a lot for our wedding invitations and don’t have the budget to pay for another batch - on the invitations it says RSVP by Aug 30th.

View Quoted Comment You’re right! It’s not my responsibility to make sure people book their airline and hotel. But for some reason it’s still stressing me out. We invited around 85 but hope only 65 show up.

View Quoted Comment B and C listing is where you have tiers of guests in order of importance. A listing is your ride or die must have guests that you can’t get married without them being in attendance. Best friends, family you have a close relationship with. This does not include parents’ friends and coworkers they are demanding that you invite or relatives you have no relationship with. The idea behind B and C listing is that instead of doing the polite thing and accepting that you have a smaller guest list and empty seats when people decline, is that you send A list invites 3-6 months before the wedding and assume that everyone on your list regardless of tier is dumb enough and never attended a wedding before that they won’t notice or care about your faux pas. Then as soon as each decline, you add people from the B and C lists: parents’ coworkers, your coworkers, your kindergarten best friends, your relatives you don’t speak to. All of these people know what is going on and they would rather not be invited at all than to be a seat filler.



Ask the invitation company for a reprint. If they don’t offer it, that’s on them. Doesn’t matter unfortunately how much you spent on them if the information is incorrect.

I understand that you already had them printed, but guests aren't going to know in June, July or necessarily in August if they can attend a wedding in the middle of November. Most people don't know their work schedules that far in advance.

Six to eight weeks ahead is still proper etiquette, so it’s way too early to send invitations and request RSVPs. Save the dates, your website, or a details mailing should have given friends and family all the info needed. Not only is it poor form in the sense of looking like you are hoping to sneak in your invitation and get RSVPs back before other events can jump in, you will get more negative replies, people changing their answers last minute because of conflict, and lost invitations.


The fact that this is a destination wedding is not relevant to when the caterer or venue needs final numbers.

Everyone that has replied is right. Hard as it is to hear, you should follow their very wise advice.

As to your invitations , if you can'tafford a reprint....... play around on Word or Google docs to find a font similar to your wedding invitation. Get Avery labels, download their template and print out a new RSVP date. Adjust everything as necessary to compliment the RSVP card. How do I know this?? We moved 3 months before the wedding, so every RSVP card had to have the new address on it. 🤦‍♀️🤷‍♀️ Life happens. And I will bet you anything not one person will balk at the new labels.

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I disagree, youre being very passive-aggressive here. I am in the same exact boat as the OP. I sent off my invitations this month because I know that I have family that needs to plan in advance. I have a lot of family that say they "didn't know in time" but here it is still 3 months away from some other type of event. But also, if youre buying al the decorations, flowers, plates, cups, etc, you know basic budgetting- youll want to know how much to expect. You don't want to buy 150 people worth of everything if only 100 people are going to show up. Thats a lot of money wasted.

Honestly for a lot of work places now they ask that you put in your time off at least 3 months in advance or else theyll be rejected. I say if youre worried about your guests and attendence to send them out whenever you feel is best. Im from Indiana, and a LOT of guests are from Michigan. My wedding is in November, and it's May, and i sent mine out. Ive also gotten like 6 RSVPS back. I know itll be months until i have them all. I'm hoping September. But I also have a bridal shower to plan.

View Quoted Comment Unfortunately, it all just goes with the territory of hosting. As I've said, if someone needs my RSVP back unreasonably early I’m just going to have to send my regret because there's no way I can know my schedule too far out.

Save the dates accomplish many of those things you mention and as for decor it can generally be ordered very quickly and many vendors accept returns of unopened or unused items. The special event world operates on speedy turn around for a reason. So you can always estimate and return or even sell if worst comes to worst. Unless it’s a destination wedding numbers are generally not all that unpredictable, give or take.

The bridal shower is for others to plan in your honor so I wouldn’t worry about that. They can invite anyone to the shower who is also invited to the wedding. You don't need to know who will actually be attending the wedding.

View Quoted Comment THANK YOU.

View Quoted Comment You're welcome. And

View Quoted Comment I know a lot of people plan their vacations out in advance, and I'd hate to have my people go "oh, we already have a vacation planned for the end of November or mid December, sorry we can't come." So I sent my save the dates out in december. I don't want to feel like I missed the deadline of other people and then be disappointed with myself.

View Quoted Comment Exactly, these “etiquettes” are frankly confusing. We are only invited close friends and family who all have normal jobs and need to give them ample time to request time off, save if needed, to book rooms and flights. I understand that’s not my responsibility but it’s my role to make sure they have the information needed to do so, with plenty of time. A wedding is not something people forget, if they forget then it wasn’t important to them and they don’t need to come. I got 20 RSVP just from STDs. We sent those out in January. So you and me are in the same timelines and predicament! lol

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How is it confusing? Save the Dates accomplish all that you say you need and more with the added advantage to guests that they are a head up and neither ask for nor require an RSVP that soon. I wouldn't consider any of those RSVPs to be set in stone or anything but an indication that people are hoping to be there because between January (you said March in your OP, but either way) and November anything can happen. Again, room information can be provided as early as needed as well, on the wedding website, a separate mail/email etc.