the (high) price of being a bridesmaid

I saw this when i came into work. I swear I must be like the most considerate bride ever lol. When I asked my 2 sisters and 2 best friends to be BMs I asked them up front, can you afford it? My 2 friends were on board at first but later said they couldn't afford it all and I totally understood. My sisters have no choice lol.

The dresses I'm picking will be as close to $100 or less as possible and will be something they can wear again. They can basically do whatever they want with their hair and makeup and I'll get their nails done. I trust them to look presentable, they're my sisters! My BFFs are being incorporated in other ways.

I think a lot of brides feel like their BMs should feel lucky that they were chosen but I feel like I should be grateful they agreed to participate. I don't expect anything from them really. I know it's expensive and times are hard!

That article should be a great reality check, but probably will fly right over the head of the brides who need to hear this. Your friends and family are doing you a favor by being in your wedding. Please be considerate of them and their limitations.

Agree with Nik. My bridesmaids had relatively few expenses - just travel for the non-local ones. They wore clothes they already had (black dresses) and we were diy for hair and makeup.

What an awesome article! I think every high-maintenance bride should read this. I was in a wedding about two years ago and when everything was said and done I had spent just about $1,000... The one thing she kept saying to us was "I'm only getting married once and I want everything PERFECT regardless of the price." One girl ended up dropping out of the bridal party because it just got to be too much for her - the Bride FLIPPED. My friendship with the bride ended after she got married... their marriage lasted exactly 1 week and 12 months.

I have my 13 year old daughter as my MOH and my 2 nieces as my BM. I asked them before I bought the dresses if they liked them and would they wear them again. If they didn't like them then we would find one that they did. The dresses just had to be my color. I bought they dresses with were MOH dress$139 and BM $99.

I think the article is also a good eye-opener for those that say" yes" I will be in your wedding. Though I am not asking my bridesmaids to shell out $2,000, I do understand that times are difficult. But I would much rather have someone tell me "I love you, but I don't have money," then to have everyone sign up and then cry broke when the dresses and shoes need to be paid for. In my case, I have 6 bridesmaids and these are my "closest girls," so it is a little disheartening when even those closest to you let you down. My girls, at minimum will be spending $500. The shower will be split amongst all of them and only a few are going to the MIAMI for my bachelorette.

Sadly, the brides who insist on the Vegas bachelorette and other frills are going to read articles like this and say, "whine whine whine...I'm only getting married ONCE and it's MY DAY and we should DO IT BIG." Sad.

My former SIL was like that. She demanded a $300 dress (not including alterations), even though I politely suggested alternatives and mentioned we were coming from overseas. She had a fit, kicked me out of the wedding, then let me back in when her mom offered to pay for half the dress. But seriously? $300 is just batpoop crazy. What a princess.

I made sure my MOH could afford the task before asking her officially. I did ask someone to be a BM too but she was completely flaky on the whole thing so I told her she will not be in the wedding. We found her dress for $117 custom made. I am getting her jewelry which is only $20. Her sister does nails so she is getting that done for free and she already has shoes to wear. Her hair will only be $35 and I am paying for that as well. It is not that hard to have being a BM cheap, just have to know how to look.

I've been a BM once. The dress and the hotel were my two big expenses, but at the time I was a single mother of two. Thankfully, alterations for the dress were free since I have an aunt that is a seamstress becuase when we ordered the dresses and I was measured I was eight and a half months pregnant. By the time the wedding came my daughter was six months old. That being said. My BF was really reasonable about everything else. She paid for our accessories as our BM gifts and we got on of the other BMs sister to do our hair. We all chipped in and paid her $100 to do all four. (this was like seven years ago).

For our wedding the only thing I have asked of my BMs (my sister and the former bride) is that the dresses be either blue or brown. Other than that. I don't care what they look like, what length, etc. We don't want a shower nor do I want a bachelorette, since it's a vow renewal.... seems silly to me. What made me post this article were all the "Should I fire my BM" posts I see.

Totally agree with you Shannon. I was totally against picking expensive dresses. I actually let my girls rummage through the store and pick the ones they liked and then I chose the one that I liked best. I wanted to spend as less as possible, keeping everyone's budget in mind. If I didn't spend $3,000 on my dress, I certainly wouldn't even consider asking my girls to spend $300 on their dress. Just doesn't make sense. My girl's dress is $160, shoes $60, and make up is $65. Hair is up to them if they want to spend the extra money. Jewelry, I'm buying for them, etc. Really tried to cut cost everywhere I could.

OUCH! Glad I picked out dresses in the $120-140 range. (I know it could have been lower, but they're knee length so they shouldn't require any alterations at least!) But I also didn't require anyone to get their hair or nails done - it's all optional. I also thought about having them get special shoes but then realized that was silly... a lot of money for one day. (And I'll wear red shoes again, but they might not!) No jewelry requirements either. Half of the wedding party has parents in the area of the wedding and most of the rest have family within an hour from the reception (or bf's parents).

I actually had to push my MOH to do something lower key for the bachelorette party! She wanted to go away for the weekend but I wanted to do something affordable so we compromised and are doing 1 night about an hour from the people I most want to be there, so they can just come for the day if they want and not have to spend the night.

Wow. i couldn't do that to my girls--they're my two best friends in the world. what i told them was i'd pay half the dress (which leaves them shelling out about 65$ each) and that they could get their own shoes, that i didn't care what they were, flats, heels, cheap, expensive, as long as they were either silver or white. and my moh is /extremely/ good at nails--she could do it as a business if she wanted--so i'll be asking her to do our nails for the wedding, and we'll probably all do our own hair and makeup.

in other words, i'm trying to make money as little of an issue as it can be for them. can't understand why anybody would do anything different. what's important is that you have your girls by your side on your big day. (:

Yikes. I only asked for $25 from each of my girls. Out of 7 only 2 have paid me and they've had 2 months to due it and I asked to have it in by the middle of June. I should show them this so they realize how much it could really cost them. Just wow.

I know where they are comming from 2 of my bridesmaids are single mothers and the other 2 are under the age of 16 (my little sister and his) we are going through deb to get ours and i asked my mom if she could buy one of my sister and his mom is paying for his and the other 2 if they need help we'll help them

My Matron of Honor, her 2 daughters, 2 nieces (flowergirls) and her husband are all in our wedding. They are all very special to both my fiance' and me, and we definitely wanted them to be in our wedding party. Knowing that it would be a huge financial burden for their entire family to be in the wedding, we just incorporated the cost of their dresses/shoes/tuxs into our budget. We paid for it all. We just cut costs in other ways. It's all about what's most important to you.

I only have the 1 MOH and I'm covering all her expenses. To me I wouldn't feel right asking her to cover stuff. Although right now I'm VERY annoyed at her. After buying her (and her son) nonrefundable airline tickets, she's told me she can't make the flight. Never mind that I asked her a zillion times when would be the most convenient time for her to fly up BEFORE I booked.

That was a great article , but heavens who would really make a BM pay that much to be in a wedding. I have been in several weddings and I always ask questions before I commit to doing it. Other than a wedding I stil have day to day expenses that are more important. I asked my girls what amount are they comfortable with paying. I will try my best to find something under $100. And they can wear silver shoes that they already have.Actually my sister already has a eggplant dress and silver shoes, she wore it to church sunday. So depending on what type od dress I find, she might not even need to buy anything. I'm only paying for my JRBM dress and shoes which is FH daughter.

Hmmm, I have 7 great girls in my wedding party. Out of the 7, 4 of them are not in the same city as me. But I never really thought about considering how much it cost for them to travel to wedding events. I really feel like they were going to come to my bachelorette, shower and wedding anyway so the travel part wasn't really an extra.The dress I choose is the twist dress (once they try it on it will be offical, if they all love it as much as I do) it's $200, they can choose their own shoes, mani and pedi is $45, they can choose their own jewlery (maybe) I may be leaning toward pearls if so I'll be gifting those, I'm paying for the MAU (She is a good friend and doing me for free). All in all I don't think I'm asking them to do to much. I also think they are all very direct and would tell me if I was going over board with anything. So far they all call me the laid back bride!

I only had one - my MOH. I bought her dress, make up/hair, hotel and airfare to Cabo No BM duties, in fact she kept asking me if I needed help, she felt like she should be doing more. We did drunkenly address the invites after a spa day. Her only duty was to be there with me on the day and tell me how pretty I looked and if my boobies were popping out of the dress.

Btw if someone other than my MOH asked me to be in a wedding, I would flat out say no. Just too stressful, I prefer being a guest and not having to deal with all the other stuff. It's truly not that fun being in a wedding.

@Sharon: You were very fortunate to have such a considerate MOH. Mine can't even be bothered to call to ask me how the plans are coming. At this point I'm not even expecting a toast from her at the reception. Serves me right though for caving in to pressure from my mom. Should have just stuck to my guns and had no attendants.