the (high) price of being a bridesmaid

@Andrene - I can't believe she let you book the tickets! gah..some people are just so rude!

My bridesmaids will spend no where near that kind of money.. The black dress can be as expensive or inexpensive as they want one of my BM got hers for $20 and its perfect my MOH spent $60 . They can wear any shoes they want, I bought them the shawls for a pop of color ($20 at Davids) , they can diy or pay to have their makeup and hair done. One of my friends is an amature mua and she will be helping with mine and can do theirs for very cheap... I know that my BM who spent $20 on the dress will not be spending any more than that because she has the shoes and will do her own hair and makeup. The venue is about an hour for all of us, but its not an extra expense really because they would have come to the wedding anyway. I tried to make sure no one would be inconvenienced. I feel bad for the GM the tuxes aren't cheap.

Believe me, I want to slap the crap out of her right now. She also says her dress doesn't fit anymore. Well tough luck. I told her a$$ to buy a bigger size when she put in the order and she insisted she was a size 8. No way in hell am I spending money on a new dress after already paying for the 1st.

Andrene, you have my permission to smack her!

And Sharon, I agree, much more fun going to the wedding as a guest. I was actually the MOH in the one wedding, not the BM. I made all the invites for the shower, but we had it at the brides house, and her grandmother (a caterer) paid for all the food. I tried planning the bachelorette and they decided on a couples passion party, so that was easy!

I guess I lucked out.

Everything for our wedding is local, and we're not asking for any extra exepnses to be spent.

Nik, I'm with you. I chose a $80 dress, that are cocktail dresses so they can wear again. they can do their own hair/makeup. I just ask their nails are painted, I don't care if they do it themselves. But, I did all this because we are having a DW, and I don't want anyone over stretching.

The amount that article gave is craziness... My most recent I went to that I was a BM in, the bride was considerate. She found our dresses for $100 and she let us pick our own shoes as long as they were silver which I was able to find some very nice ones on sale @ DSW for $20. She had the BP meet her at the mall and we all got our make up done for free - believe it was at Dillards - they only ask for you to buy at least one product, but it is not required. I bought lipstick, but can't remember how much I paid for it. My mom did my hair. Then the wedding gift. She offered to pay for me to get my nails done, but I declined. I am going to be BM for another friend's wedding next year and I hope she'll take our expenses into consideration as well.

As for me, I am helping my BP save as much money as possible. The dresses will be no more than $150, but most I have been finding are around $100. Their shoes will be all the same color, but doesnt have to be exact same shoe. They can do whatever they want with their hair and make up as long as it looks good. And I am not expecting any gifts from anyone who attends my wedding. Oh and I chose a venue that was only 30 minutes from where most of our guests live instead of the first venue I found which was about 2 hours away so this will save them and my guests on hotel stays and gas, etc.

Not sure what we are doing in regards to bridal shower and bach party, but I will be pitching in money.

Wow! I graduated from the School of Education at the University of Michigan with the Bridesmaid they pictured. That is too funny!

I am trying very hard to keep costs reasonable for my BMs. None of them have to travel, I am paying for half of their hair. I am not asking them to have their makeup done professionally or to have their nails done. Their dresses cost $163 after tax, and I'm giving them options for shoes (all under $50).

@Mrs. Lesenski: I just may do that. When I think about how much I'm already out of pocket for her and her son it makes me sick. I'm not even asking for (or expecting) a shower/ bach party or gifts. I just want her to be considerate of the fact I'm spending my hard earned money on her and just support me at this time in my life (i.e., show up and have a good time and not cause me grief). Ok, mini meltdown over now

IMO, Andrene, you have every right to have a full on Bitch fest, if you please. Her behavior is uncalled for. I'd stop shelling out the bucks if she's not going to be atleast half ass appreciative, much less helpful.

We didn't require our attendants to have new clothes at all. Our MOH (my daughter) wore a MOH dress and shoes she got for a different wedding, and our dude of honor (my son) wore his one and only suit. We even offered to pay our MOH's airfare, but she declined and decided just to make a week of it and see other friends on the East Coast.

We also didn't have a shower, and didn't expect our attendants to be at our bachelorette parties. And we paid for the accommodations of all our guests, including our attendants.

@Mrs. Lesenski: I have tried so hard not to be a "bridezilla" that I do think it is backfiring on me now. I really didn't mind paying for her expenses because, not knowing anything about how this stuff works, I thought it would be very presumptuous of me to expect her to pay for flights, accomodations, clothes and all the other trappings to stand with me on the day. Imagine how pissed I am now to find out that not only do most girls pay their own way, they also help the bride out when they can. But, since you can't choose family, not much to do but suck it up and distance myself after the wedding.

What is wrong with wanting a bachelorette party in Vegas? I've always dreamed of having mine there so that's where I will be doing mine. HOWEVER- I live in AZ so it is a 4 hour drive that we can all split the gas for so it's not like I am making everyone pay for airfare.

I like the article though. I plan on showing it to all my BM and whenever they complain about something reminding them that I am not expecting that much money out of them! haha. Luckily, I only have one complaining BM. The only thing I expect them to pay for is their dress and their share of the Vegas room/gas. Everything else I will be covering so I think it is a fair trade IMO.

I'm not expecting a bridal shower or a bach party.... like someone said I am honored they wanted to be included... a couple BM were self appointed but, I was going to ask them anyways! I hope when they asked me that they realized its not that cheap.... and I surely cant help.....that makes me wanna give better gifts! I want to double the gift as the jewelry or a spa day for hair and nails to be done....

I feel so blessed to have the BMs I do! I found their dresses for much cheaper than they were offering to pay, they want to take me to CABO for a bachelorrette (I'm giong to insist we stay here) and they are just excited to do this with me even though I can't afford to spoil the heck out of them (which I would)!

Because I have to be budget concious for myself, I feel I must be for my girls too! they can throw down the money and go all out for their own special day, I'll do what I can for mine

Jessica - the issue with destination bachelorette parties is that they can get very expensive, very fast, and there's a lot of peer pressure to go all out. It's like wedding creep....it just gets more and more overblown.

I think, unless all of your guests can definitely afford it, it's just too big of an imposition. My bachelorette was local - a girlfriend of mine hosted, and a friend (who is a personal chef) offered to cater as a wedding gift. It was fun, and except for a few people who had to travel (just a few hours), it was very budget-friendly.

My bridesmaids dress is 60.00 and i will provide them their jewelry...they can do whatever they like with their hair and make up as long as is presentable...

I know as a ex MOH it can be expensive...when my best friend asked me to be in her wedding i was so excited until i realized that to being her MOH i had to save some change...i ended up spending 2,500 in between the dress, ticket to fly to PR, buy the wedding cake (its a puertorican tradition) and throwing her an awesome bridal party because the other bride which were supposed to do it, never gave no money for it...as a friend i was not let my girl have no party...lol...

Even though i spend a penny...i still felt super honor that she picked me out of all the group of friends that she had...

SN: now its her turn she has to get ready to be my MOH...lol...payback...

This is why we're buying the BM dresses...

Half of my bridesmaid are in PR already the other half i will be paying there tickets to go to PR....they are my family so when they come to PR they will be stay with our relatives...and my FH family we are pay all of their ticket too

I've never really thought or cared how much I had to pay as a bridesmaid in a wedding ... if it meant that much for me to be in their wedding, then I made it work ... I had one friend have us order $400 dresses, pay $75 for hair and another $50 for make up ... plane ticket was $300, hotel for 2 nights was $150 and a rental car was $200 for a week ... so when I asked my girls to be in my wedding, I told them I'd find a dress that cost less than $200, and that their hair and make up was optional ... I'd like them to get their hair and make up done but hey I understand times are tough for some ... and the hotel the night before isn't costing them a dime ... I'm covering it ... there are options out there ...