Vanessasaurus
VIP June 2019

Opposites Attract or Similars Stick?

Vanessasaurus, on July 17, 2018 at 11:21 AM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 30
Saved Save
Reply
Is love with your FS a case of opposites attract or a case of similiars stick? I was thinking about how I dated people way too opposite before FH, and while there was lustful attraction it wasn't until I found someone with more similar interests (even though we have opposite personalities) that the relationship really stuck long term! I'm curious what you all would consider your relationship with FS!

First I'll share!
Interests: Similars
Personality: Opposites

30 Comments

  • Jennifer
    Master September 2018
    Jennifer ·
    • Flag

    With us it was similar interests and how we both choose to spend our time.

    I would have to agree with opposite personalities : he is so laid back when it comes to so many things and I am captain anxiety over it all.

    • Reply
  • char
    Expert September 2018
    char ·
    • Flag

    I think we are more similar than opposite. We have similar interests, values, beliefs, and to some degree, personalities.

    My ex was an opposite. That did NOT work, obviously.

    • Reply
  • Maria
    Master June 2018
    Maria ·
    • Flag

    I like this topic! I'm a bit more outgoing in social settings while my husband is more quiet. I've always been drawn to partners that are on the more low key side in that regard. We also have different interests. He's a gamer, I like celebrity gossip and popular music. We have common ground in certain movies and TV. Who doesn't?

    However, to me those are surface things. We have the same core values and agree on life goals and difficult topics. Aside from our love for each other, I think that gives us a strong foundation for the future.

    • Reply
  • Nemo
    VIP August 2018
    Nemo ·
    • Flag

    From a psychology standpoint (this it where I nerd out), similar sticks together! That doesn't mean opposites cant work out, but from the research perspective, those who hold similar goals/values/beliefs tend to do better.


    FH and I are definitely similar. Some differences are that we don't have any of the same hobbies. He is definitely a hobby person and I am not. We are both introverted, but we experience it in different ways. I can be with people all day and then need to decompress when I get home alone (an extroverted introvert), but he has a really hard time wanting to get out there and be with people for extended periods of time. I'm not very adventurous but FH is. FH has a really hard time relaxing and not doing anything (he HATES watching TV) and I love to just lounge around and be lazy. I think we tend to balance each other out perfectly and we're great communicators.

    • Reply
  • Emily
    Super July 2019
    Emily ·
    • Flag
    Personalities are very similar, moreso now than when we first started dating. He was always outgoing and I've become more outgoing.

    While we certainly have similar interests, I'd say this is where we differ most. He likes to read/watch about history where I prefer medical and crime books & shows. He's also extremely active in hobbies where mine are more creative and crafty.
    • Reply
  • Shinee
    Expert September 2018
    Shinee ·
    • Flag
    My FH and I are quite opposite of each other. Not only physically (he’s 6’2” and I’m 4’8”, he’s Caucasian, I’m Asian) but also in personality and in some interests. I’m a very outgoing, social butterfly while he’s more quiet, can be sorta awkward in conversations kind of person. He is like our financial advisor as he’s very good with his money whereas I’m an impulsive shopper and likes to spend money. He enjoys Mexican food while I enjoy Chinese food, he likes chocolate ice cream, I like vanilla, lol. While I feel like we’re very opposite, I feel like we balance each other out very well.
    • Reply
  • Gen
    Master June 2019
    Gen ·
    • Flag
    I think we have opposite personalities, a lot of opposite interests, but a few overlapping interests that tend to be enough for us to bond over.

    I will say though that I think the most important thing that we do have, is similar values, seeing the world similarly, and wanting the same things out of life, even if we approach life differently.
    • Reply
  • Tpatb
    Master August 2019
    Tpatb ·
    • Flag
    Idk..we have a lot of the same interests & traits yet we’re also totally different if that makes sense. I’d say more differences in personality tho for sure. We also share a few different beliefs..I am more of a free spirit than he is.
    • Reply
  • Gen
    Master June 2019
    Gen ·
    • Flag
    Also I would say that it’s less about having “similar vs different” traits and more important to have complimentary traits.

    For example, 2 people who are “similar” in the way that they’re both very stubborn, is not very complimentary even though it’s similar. Another example is I’m very introverted and I know I could NOT marry another introvert... I dated one once and we were not good for each other at all, we fed on each other’s shyness and never did anything social together. The fact that my FH is a huge extrovert is “opposite” from me, but also extremely complimentary because he helps bring me out of my shell!
    • Reply
  • Happy Hedgie
    VIP September 2018
    Happy Hedgie ·
    • Flag

    Hmm, a bit of both. We have similar values, beliefs, and goals which to me is extremely important for building a lasting relationship. We also have a few similar hobbies and some similar personality traits. like we are both major homebodies. However, we also have a bunch of interests that are completely opposite and mostly different personalities. I'm a worrier, he's laid back; I'm messy he's a neat-freak, etc.

    All in all, I think our similarities give us a good foundation while our differences make up for the deficiencies we each have making us better people.

    • Reply
  • Danielle K
    VIP June 2019
    Danielle K ·
    • Flag

    A little opposite on some things (IE where I lack he makes up for and vice versa) but predominately similar. We feel the same way about pretty much everything. Any time we disagree, if we stop to think about it and listen (we are quiet stuborn) we almost always come to an agreement.

    • Reply
  • E
    Devoted May 2019
    Elizabeth ·
    • Flag
    We're a bit of both. We have opposite personalities, similar likes, and somewhat similar morals. He's more adventurous, but pushes me to get out there more.
    • Reply
  • Mrs.Sanok
    VIP September 2018
    Mrs.Sanok ·
    • Flag

    FH and I are definitely opposites attract. I am more shy and an introvert, he is more willing to talk to strangers and an extrovert!

    We have interest that are similar and that is what makes us click. But we also have our own interest that we both support and encourage each other to do!

    I like to think of us as Yin and Yang. I am more the personalty that sees the glass half full and he sees the glass half empty. (which is not a bad thing. we need a little bit of both.) He is the laborer and the one who will get down and dirty so we can have what we need. Then I am the one who cleans up and makes sure things are running smoothly at home. He is the money maker and the money spender. I am the one who makes sure we are on budget and saving money!

    We are the perfect mix of personalities to make a partnership work and work together strongly. Smiley love

    • Reply
  • M
    Dedicated September 2019
    Maria ·
    • Flag
    We are a mix!
    • Reply
  • KarenO
    Master June 2018
    KarenO ·
    • Flag

    We are pretty opposite. He is very outgoing and confident, and I generally lack in that department. He has helped me become more confident and has brought out my more outgoing side too.

    We also have pretty different taste in things - I'm very much into all things nerdy, and he'd rather watch sports or watch people talk about sports. (I like sports too, but not 24/7.) But, we have some interests and more important things in common, like life goals and social values, which I think goes a long way. And, overall, we just balance each other really well.

    • Reply
  • Lex
    VIP September 2019
    Lex ·
    • Flag
    We’re pretty similar, and that works out really well for us. We have the same tastes in music/movies and we both love food lol. There are somethings we argue about but it’s all in good fun.
    • Reply
  • Vanessasaurus
    VIP June 2019
    Vanessasaurus ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    It sounds like you two have the perfect balance of traits! You two actually sound a lot like me and my FH!

    • Reply
  • Vanessasaurus
    VIP June 2019
    Vanessasaurus ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    I definitely agree that common core values and life goals really build the foundation for everything else. Even in the areas my FH don't necessarily agree, we are able to find common ground!

    • Reply
  • Vanessasaurus
    VIP June 2019
    Vanessasaurus ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    I definitely agree, it is much easier to make similars work! I am somewhere in between how introverted you are and how introverted your FH is. MY FH is super extroverted. For this reason, sometimes I have to remind him about this and remind him that I get overwhelmed and my social and self needs are different than his! We have tons in common as far as interests and the way we like to spend our time, but the personality area is definitely the most differed! Overall, I think we do balance each other out and good communication definitely steps in when imbalance is present!

    • Reply
  • Vanessasaurus
    VIP June 2019
    Vanessasaurus ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    I agree that FH's personality has been an influence on my own, along with having a more extroverted career path! While I am still the same person at the core, an opposite partner can definitely help you explore outside your comfort zone!

    • Reply

Comment on this discussion

×