Alexa
Dedicated June 2019

Mother's Attire

Alexa, on July 3, 2018 at 4:43 PM Posted in Wedding Attire 0 13
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SO... I haven't even gone dress shopping yet, but my mother has already been shopping for what she plans on wearing to the wedding. She's shown me pictures of several dresses and, I kid you not, they're prom dresses. Heavily beaded and flashy. I think these choices are too ostentatious for my small summer wedding. Am I able to have a say in what she wears? She's walking me down the aisle so we will be right next to each other while I make my entrance.

13 Comments

  • WED18
    July 1993
    WED18 ·
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    While I think us moms are pretty capable of dressing ourselves, I'm surprised your's isn't waiting until you pick a dress so she can match the formality of your event. When do you plan to go dress shopping? Maybe if she sees what your vision is she can get a better idea of how fancy hers should be. Sounds like she's just excited though and many MOB dresses are bedazzled.

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  • Selia
    Super October 2024
    Selia ·
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    Hey Alexa! While you of course want your mother to be comfortable and feel beautiful, it is YOUR day! So you can absolutely have input on what she wears. Maybe look for something more appropriate on your own time and send her some photos. I'm sure you could find something that's a reasonable compromise you're both comfortable with!

    What are your colors or theme? Maybe I can help direct you to some mother of the bride dress options! Smiley smile

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  • Carol
    Super September 2018
    Carol ·
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    Technically no you don’t get a say but I don’t think it’s wrkng to give suggestions. I mentioned to my mom once that I imagined her in blush and now that’s al she wants to wear. I’ve told her I don’t care what she wear but she’s set on it. Who knows what she will get. Lol chances are your mom is very excited so she’s looking! Once you get yours I’m sure she will not get something that flashy (unless your event calls for it) and if she still tries you can express your concerns in a loving way- it’s our moms day too afterall!
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  • Alexa
    Dedicated June 2019
    Alexa ·
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    My wedding colors are lavender and grey, but she would like to wear a darker purple gown (true purple, maybe even eggplant) which I'm okay with!

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  • Teresa
    Super September 2018
    Teresa ·
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    I'm one of the thinkers that what the MOB wears is whatever they feel comfortable in. I wouldnt say anything to her. Once she sees what you pick out she may change her mind. For my first wedding my mom wore the same thing she later wore to the Military Ball with my dad, and my first wedding was a 11am Saturday brunch certainly not black tie. If she was still with us I'm sure she would be wearing sparkles of some kind for this wedding too 😌
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  • MrsD
    Legend July 2019
    MrsD ·
    • Flag

    It just depends on how much it matters to you and what your relationship is like. My mom asked for guidance, I gave her some colors that would work in our scheme and compliment for pictures and told her to go from there. I don't really have to worry about my mom wearing anything too bright, flashy, tight, or revealing though. I think she is leaning towards long dresses with some beading, but not prom dresses. Macy's, Nordstroms, Kohls, and local bridal salons are great places to look!

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  • FutureMrsN
    Super October 2018
    FutureMrsN ·
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    I would say give her some guidance, maybe even go shopping and make a day of it with lunch and stuff so she feels special? I am all about trusting people to pick out their own stuff but my mom sent me a few options recently online and they were off-white lace and lime green...I was like wooohhhh maybe some guidance is needed. I gave her the direction of "soft colors" that are not white lace, given my dress is white lace..... She eventually got the point and has found something she loves. It is not my style, but she is happy and it is appropriate and that's all I ask.

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  • yasmeen
    Devoted November 2018
    yasmeen ·
    • Flag
    My mom did ask me what I wanted her to wear but after years of military balls I wasn't too worried about what she was going to wear. Do you have you wedding colors picked out? Maybe you guys can start with that and then work onto the type of style that can match with the theme
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  • muriel
    Champion June 2018
    muriel ·
    • Flag

    Despite the advice of the rockstar, you don't necessarily have input into what your Mom wears.

    I agree with WED18, she is probably just excited about the prospect of being the MOB. If she asks for your input or your opinion, you certainly can respond, but do remember she has been dressing herself since before you were born. We don't turn into expert stylists just because we are getting married.

    You can approach the situation gently by offering to work as a team to find her a great dress. She might be looking at more formal dresses because it's something she has never owned, or maybe couldn't afford, or just that she is so proud of you and wants to look great beside you.

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  • ISaidHallYes
    VIP November 2018
    ISaidHallYes ·
    • Flag

    I would sit down and talk to her about the formality of your event. It sounds as if a luxurious prom gown is not really going to fit the theme of the wedding. Although I do agree that no one should tell a MOB or MOG exactly what to wear I think having some guidelines is perfectly fine. I would talk to her about what the wedding style is going to be like and hopefully give her some helpful guidance in the right direction.

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  • J
    Dedicated December 2018
    Josephine ·
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    Uhhh yeah you defintely have input on what she wears! My mom and I are going on a dress-shopping date to find her the perfect look. But this will for sure be after I get my gown!
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  • Mcskipper
    Master July 2018
    Mcskipper ·
    • Flag
    In general I’m team “Mom can wear whatever she wants” but I do think it’s fair to give a little guidance. I wouldn’t tell her no unless it were wildly inappropriate, but I would be fine saying “I think our event is a little more low key than this dress” ...but every mom is a little different. Some moms are actually looking for the spotlight (shout out to the super sweet girl on here whose mom bought a legit wedding dress to wear) where others are genuinely unsure of what is appropriate or what they’re supposed to wear at all, and they’re going off of the stuff stores label as “MOB dresses” which is an odd mix of looks that are completely unhelpful, in which case, I think a little guidance would be appreciated
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  • Neffe
    Master July 2020
    Neffe ·
    • Flag

    Hi Alexa! Maybe the dress might give her a special feeling, so I think it would be lovely to have her wear something within her comfort! She could feel awkward about being told what to wear. Aside from the style, is the dress color outside of your palette?

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