Parents Attire

My dad asked me to just pick out his outfit since he didn't already own a suit/tux so he rented a gray tux from the same place as where my husband and the groomsmen/bride's man got their tuxes. My mom ordered several dresses on Amazon and kept the one she wore and returned the rest. She went the Amazon route since where she lives doesn't have a lot of stores other than like Walmart and Target. My husband and I went shopping with his mom to pick out a dress. She asked if we wanted to go with her since it was the first formal event she had gone to in years. My father-in-law and his wife just wore whatever they wanted. I had suggested having the dads wear the same outfit, but my husband told me his dad already had a navy suit. My husband was very against the dads being in black since the groomsmen, bride's man, and himself would be hence why my dad was in gray. I had wanted my dad in black. Apparently he didn't talk very much with his dad about this because not only did he not have something to wear so he had to go purchase something but he purchased a suit rather than a tux, but it was also a black suit. My husband later apologized to me for not further talking with his dad because we had argued over me wanting my dad in black so I wasn't happy when his dad showed up in black.

The parents pick their own outfits within the formality level you set. It’s not proper to dictate what people wear other than the bridal party. But I’d a little guidance on color, whether you’d like them to coordinate with the wedding colors or specifically NOT wear them. My mom found a beautiful dress that blended with my colors wonderfully, and the dads wore suits with ties in coordinating colors.

I didn't really care what our parents wore. I just reminded them that our wedding is on the casual so they didn't need anything fancy.


My FMIL wanted more guidance and was thinking of wearing either burgundy or navy and we decided navy would coordinate well. My mom also decided to coordinate with navy and sent me pictures of dresses to look at so I helped her pick one. I got my dad a matching bow tie to my FH and our ring bearers since he said he'd like one, but otherwise I'm leaving his outfit up to him.

Where I come from, like almost every wedding I've ever attended, the mom and siblings always dress in some coordinating color. Sometimes both moms wear the same color. With dads, I see a little more variation, but usually they have a tie or something in that color family as well. This doesn't mean they match exactly like bridesmaids or groomsmen, just that they pick a color that goes nicely with everyone else for the sake of photos. To me, wearing the wedding colors is like wearing a VIP badge.


A lot of people here will say the couple shouldn't talk to parents about this at all, and let them pick what to wear. But from what I see on this forum and others, most parents (or at least moms) want some guidance, so they can narrow down their options and make sure they don't clash with everyone else. I think it's perfectly OK to give a color family, and a length if it's going to be a more formal event.

For my wedding, I told everyone to pick shades of blue or green. Then they bought something from wherever they wanted. Here is us with our parents:

The parents chose their own attire.

When it came to the attire for my parents, my mom picked out her outfit for our wedding but I asked my dad if he wanted to match the color of the groomsmen. He ended up picking out an all black tux with a white shirt. He didn't want to match the groomsmen.

For our wedding two weeks ago the parents all asked for guidance or suggestions, however, aside from saying that my main concern was for everyone to be comfortable, I asked our dads and my step dad to wear a coat and tie at least til pictures were done then they could ditch them to be more comfortable for the rest of the reception (which they did LOL). For the mom's and my step mom, I reminded them about the wedding colors being merlot and silver, and suggested they go for something in a complementary color, or if they wanted, something near or along the lines of silver. So my step mom found a lovely dress in an almost silver shade of light blue, my mom went with a black skirt and a silver and white embroidered top with a matching jacket and my husband's mom did a white and black patterned skirt with a black blouse and white jacket, and then killed it in a pair of red heels and matching lipstick for funsies. Everyone looked great and felt comfortable. Granted there was more white than may have been appropriate for a straight wedding, but as we had no bride and no white dress it didn't matter. However, my husband did wear his navy dress white uniform and I wore a traditional black tux but with a silver vest and tie.

View Quoted Comment Bummer about the miscommunication about his dad's attire! I can see how that would be frustrating after you both agreed that the dads wouldn't wear black. Hopefully you can all look back on that one day and laugh about it.

View Quoted Comment I agree, I had no interest in picking out specific attire for anyone besides myself. Though I could understand people wanting to choose the color for their parents' attire, especially since they'll be in a lot of photos. Awesome that your mom's dress paired well with your wedding colors!

I stayed out of it and let the two moms have their own discussion and/or no discussion. It didn’t matter to me what they wore. I did pick out bridesmaids and matching ties for guys and was specific black tux and shoes and wanted my bridesmaids to wear their hair down as they naturally do each day.

My pic is my 2nd marriage. My response was regarding my first marriage when I was 20!

View Quoted Comment Awesome that all parents coordinated with your wedding colors! My husband and I also had no preference on what colors or styles our parents wore. We just wanted them to pick something they liked.

I just went with my mom the other day and she tried on like 12 dresses and she just picked the one she liked the most, that my dad also liked as well.

I was thinking of just suggesting navy and gray if they ask, but other than that I think they'll be okay

View Quoted Comment Oh wow, beautiful photo! I really like how the outfit colors aren't all the same, but they all pair together perfectly. And awesome that the families usually coordinate in your tradition!


I agree that the parents quite often ask for guidance on what to wear. My husband's mom asked our opinion on color, but we were honestly fine with whatever she wanted.

View Quoted Comment My parents and my husband's parents all chose their own attire too. We had no preference on colors or styles. The outfits they all chose turned out well!

We went with the same suits as the groomsmen for the dads but switched their tie color and added a pocket square (Groomsmen don't have pocket squares) And then the mothers got a dress in the same neutral color scheme, where they would all look coordinated in pictures.

View Quoted Comment You bring up a good topic - should the dads attire match the groomsmen attire? Or not? I've seen cases where they do, and cases where they don't. I don't think there's a wrong answer, it's just interesting to hear everyone's opinions on that!

View Quoted Comment I really like how you gave guidance on colors to the moms, and let them take it from there! The colors and outfits they picked sound beautiful, glad to hear that everyone was happy and comfortable in what they wore. Also, I love the merlot and silver color scheme that you picked!

View Quoted Comment Also - congratulations on your recent wedding! Cheers to married life, and best wishes to you and your husband!