LGBTQ+ couple two men hugging closely with arms wrapped around each other and foreheads touching looking into each other's eyes with hands on cheeks
Chelsea Abril Photography

Anyone who's been in a long-term relationship knows that while it's important to keep the romance alive, it's the little day-to-day things that really help solidify your bond. That's where these unexpected soulmate signs come into play—and we're not talking about butterflies, expensive gifts, or fancy date nights, even though they certainly don't hurt when it comes to showing someone how much you care. Instead, if you're wondering how do you know if someone is your soulmate, there are simple clues that can indicate a one-of-a-kind connection and confirm whether or not you've found The One (but if you're already thinking you have, then you probably already know deep down!).

What is a soulmate?

A soulmate is the one person that you’re destined to be with in life; someone you keep coming back to despite any challenges, obstacles, time apart, and downfalls that would otherwise ruin a relationship. Soulmates often can’t explain how they find each other—it just seems to *happen* somehow, whether that means physically bumping into each other on the street and forming an instant connection, or an ordinary series of events that led you to each other, despite the fact that there could have been a hundred different outcomes. Your soulmate will likely mirror a lot of your same qualities, for example, sharing an unusual habit that everyone else thinks is weird, or constantly having the same thoughts at the exact same time.

Do soulmates end up together?

We all want to believe that soulmates end up together—everyone wants a fairytale ending, right? And while the majority of soulmates do end up together, not everyone will (and that’s okay). The purpose of a soulmate is finding someone who understands every part of you and your personality, but it doesn’t always equate to a romantic connection. For example, your soulmate could appear in the form of a best friend. And even if your connection is romantic, there may be circumstances that prevent you from being together right now, such as long distance or bad timing. But if you’re truly soulmates, rest assured that you’ll always find your way back to each other, one way or another.

Silver Bear Creative
Silver Bear Creative

How do you know if someone is your soulmate?

As the saying goes, when you know, you know. Once you find your soulmate, you might have an unexplainable (and unshakable) feeling or instinct that this person is meant for you, even if it doesn’t make sense to others. But if you’ve never felt this way before, it can definitely be confusing, which is why we’ve outlined these soulmate signs to give you some clues that you’ve found your person.

1. They make you want to do things you would have never done before.

When you’re with your soulmate, you’ll probably find yourself feeling more comfortable doing things that would have made your former self think “absolutely not.” Your soulmate will put you at ease no matter what, even in the scariest or most anxiety-inducing situations. Singing karaoke together in front of a huge crowd, despite your lifelong stage fright? No sweat. Quitting your jobs and moving across the country together to pursue your dreams? Done deal. Not only will your soulmate support your most obvious qualities, but they’ll bring out strengths and other personality traits you didn’t even know you were capable of.

2. You don’t have to play games with them.

Your soulmate won’t waste any time showing or telling you how they feel about you. And this doesn’t mean elaborate, rom-com style gestures, like proclaiming their love via billboard or skywriting (although we would happily accept both). Most importantly, you won’t have to question whether or not this person is into you—they’ll show you through simple, consistent actions, like always texting you back, prioritizing time with you, and paying close attention to everything you say.

3. They get on you about staying healthy. 

Whether it’s motivating you to drink more water, bugging you about scheduling a follow-up appointment with your dentist, or intervening before you eat a whole box of cookies by yourself during a Netflix binge, it could be a sign that someone is your soulmate if they’re pushing you to stay healthy. This is because they want to keep you around for the long haul—and they’re not afraid to challenge your bad habits if it means helping you become your best, healthiest self. As long as you’re not feeling forced into changing who you truly are, we’d call this a win-win. 

same-sex female couple walks through a scenic wildflower field during golden hour
Lizzy Oakley Photography

4. You trust them to do your laundry and other chores.

Doing someone else’s laundry is an oddly intimate thing, right? But if your partner doesn’t mind sorting through your dirty clothes to save you the trouble of doing it yourself (and you’re not embarrassed about your smelly workout tops that have been collecting odors in the hamper), it’s a strong sign that your relationship has reached a deeper level. Whether it’s sorting your laundry a specific way, buying avocados at the perfect ripeness level, or putting the throw pillows in the proper order after making the bed, letting your partner handle tasks that you’d otherwise be picky about means that you feel in-sync with each other and trust your partner enough to know your nuances. For any self-proclaimed control freaks out there, this is major—and if your S.O. actually takes the time to pair up your socks after they come out of the dryer, you’re headed for eternal soulmate bliss. 

5. They've experienced your SSB (Secret Single Behavior) and didn’t run for the hills. 

In the words of Carrie Bradshaw, everyone has an SSB, otherwise known as your “Secret Single Behavior.” Basically, this is anything you do at home that you’d never do in front of anyone else—especially a significant other—for fear of embarrassing yourself. But if your partner has witnessed things like your strange skincare routine (micro-needling and crazy face masks for the sake of better collagen? sure!), unconventional midnight snacking habits, or your threadbare but unbelievably comfortable sleep t-shirts and didn’t bat an eye, they’re probably a keeper.  

6. You’ve survived a road trip together.

Cruising down the open road with your S.O. seems idyllic at first—you’ve got your playlists, your snacks, and you’re ready for an adventure to somewhere new (preferably with plenty of Instagrammable moments along the way). But inevitably, there are probably going to be a few bumps along the way. Flash forward to about six hours into your 20-hour journey, when you’ve been sitting in the same cramped position for hours, one of you is tired of driving, and you can’t agree on windows up or down. No matter how much you and your partner love each other, being confined in such a small space can amplify even the silliest of disagreements, simply because there’s nowhere else for either of you to go. Arguing with each other doesn’t mean that you aren’t meant to be—in fact, successfully recovering from a disagreement with your partner can actually help strengthen your relationship over time. If you’ve had a less-than-romantic road trip with your partner and lived to tell the tale, it’s a good indicator that you’ll be able to handle similarly tense situations in the future.

Black couple hold hands as they walk and smile at each other. They are wearing matching denim button-down shirts
Danielle Christine Photography

7. The two of you actually don’t agree on everything.

It takes courage to speak your mind sometimes, especially in the game of love when emotions are at stake. That’s why in newer relationships, it’s not uncommon for people to hold back certain thoughts, behaviors, and beliefs until they feel more comfortable revealing themselves. While it’s important to be aligned with your partner when it comes to the bigger picture (life goals, children, etc.), you should also remember that you’re still two individuals—and that it’s okay to see things differently from time to time. Soulmates often help each other to feel complete, meaning your partner might have opposite traits that balance out your own. In the end, if you feel respected and mature enough to butt heads with your partner occasionally—and you still love each other when all is said and done—it’s a good sign that someone is your soulmate. 

8. Your bond has playful quirks that no one else understands.

Maybe you’ve made up code names for your weird relatives, or maybe you have your own language comprised entirely of emojis. Whatever your relationship quirks are, creating “secret” habits as a couple or doing something silly with your partner that would make zero sense to the outside world means that you’ve been able to accept and connect with each other in a way that no one else can. 

couple walks down a residential street in NYC with brownstone townhouses on both sides. She is jumping in the air while holding his hand
Celeste Hernandez Photography

9. They’re kinda forgetful, except when it comes to your relationship.

Outside of your relationship, your partner could have the worst memory in the world. But if they’re constantly surprising you by recalling little things that have happened throughout your relationship, it’s one of the biggest signs that someone is your soulmate. We’re not just talking about remembering birthdays and major milestones—a soulmate will have (consciously or subconsciously) made mental notes about all of the little things, too, like the first texts you sent to each other or the moment they knew they were in love.  

10. You just feel safer and at ease when they’re around.

Soulmates are called soulmates for a reason. The connection you have with each other is capable of going beyond any physical presence so that even when you’re not actually together, you’re still experiencing a strong bond. Some people believe that soulmates find each other because they share the same energy, and when you’re with your partner, your energies balance each other. This explains why you probably feel calm simply by sitting next to your S.O. on the couch and why you might feel unsettled when you’ve been apart from each other for too long.